Did you tell your employers you were having fertility treatment?

[MrsWilson]

Bit of back ground info, I work the most wonderful accountancy firm with two male directors who are both so friendly and lovely.

I've been there 2 years and I'm half way through my Chartered Accountant qualification which is expensive (my firm are funding it) and takes a lot of time and effort to complete.

For the past year I've had to take a few days as holiday to do all the tests etc which is fine as I've been able to do that without anyone knowing what I've been doing on my time off but when I start treatment, though I don't know what treatment I'm having yet (appt is 19th march) I know I'm going to need more time off to go to the hospital and also my body and mind will go through changes.

Do I put my studies on hold in the hope I get pregnant? Or shall I carry on studying whilst trying?

Also do I tell my employers I'm having treatment? I wouldn't want them to think they're throwing money down the the drain by investing in my future....

 

[MrsWilson]

Please can you share your experiences the good and the bad x

 

[Cupcake85]

It is up to you if you tell them or not but I personally wouldn't want my boss/manager knowing my personal business.

I told my manager I was ttc and when a promotion came up I wasn't told, when I asked why she said I didn't think you would want to apply as your trying for a family. It took us a year and a half to fall pregnant so I could have taken the promotion!

 

[redbear]

I would try to carry on, I have a friend who quit her job for ivf, and after if she was pregnant, its failed and now there saving up again but she could have been doing a job she loves while waiting to save the money x

 

[Jasmine111]

Bit of back ground info, I work the most wonderful accountancy firm with two male directors who are both so friendly and lovely.

I've been there 2 years and I'm half way through my Chartered Accountant qualification which is expensive (my firm are funding it) and takes a lot of time and effort to complete.

For the past year I've had to take a few days as holiday to do all the tests etc which is fine as I've been able to do that without anyone knowing what I've been doing on my time off but when I start treatment, though I don't know what treatment I'm having yet (appt is 19th march) I know I'm going to need more time off to go to the hospital and also my body and mind will go through changes.

Do I put my studies on hold in the hope I get pregnant? Or shall I carry on studying whilst trying?

Also do I tell my employers I'm having treatment? I wouldn't want them to think they're throwing money down the the drain by investing in my future....

Same situation as me! I'm studying ACCA, I'm planning on still studying until I get pregnant. To be honest think ill study until I have had a baby depending on dates etc.. I haven't told my employer anything yet. I have only had one hospital appointment so far, but I have another couple coming up on the next six weeks. I really haven't decided what to do yet...

 

[TORino]

As a fellow chartered accountant my biggest bit of advice to you would be to get qualified before you have a baby. You say yourself it takes a lot of time and effort to complete, which I know it does, but time and effort will be in short supply with a small person to look after.

If you are wanting to see it through and become fully qualified obvs the choice is yours but why make it difficult for yourself? Assuming time is on your side fertility wise can't you postpone ttc until you have your professional registration?

I couldn't even comprehend trying to complete my accountancy qualification now. It would be really really difficult.

 

[MrsWilson]

To be honest time isn't really on my side, I'm 28 this year. By the time I qualify I will be over 30 and I'd would have to go through this process again, be referred again, and then start treatment so it could be years before I get pregnant.

I also don't want to put studying off for something that may never even happe. :-/

My exams are booked individually in 6 month blocks so I think I'm just going to take it as it comes...

 

[Dee28]

I personally would just carry on as normal until you have to make a decision. We all know in ltttc that things don't always go to plan so I would get the ball rolling and see where it take you, things take so long to happen that you probably have time to keep studying and the distraction is a good thing I think xx

 

[Belfa]

I would try to carry on with life as much as possible. Is there a colleague at work that you can confide in?

I didn't tell anyone but a couple of months ago decided to tell a colleague when another colleague announced they were pregnant. There were lots of "jokes" in the office and bets placed as to when we would get pregnant and I had to say something as, although I was ok with everything, I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't snap one day.

I find myself putting off applying for jobs, organising holidays etc "just in case" I get pregnant but I never do and actually each month I respond worse to treatment so becoming pregnant seems so distant.

I would carry on with your studies as, even if you do have to stop, I guess it's better to be as far along as possible? I cannot concentrate at work and think it's having a very negative impact on my life but I don't like what I'm doing anyway. I don't know if you like your job but you've committed yourself to doing your exams so that's at least something positive to work towards.

I think LTTTC can take alot of positives away from your life and so you have to find things that keep positivity alive and if working towards a qualification is one of those things for you then I'd keep at it x

 

[ScotchEgg]

I told my boss once I had been referred for treatment. Our hospital offered all tracking appointments from 7am so people could go before work, but we lived a long way away so would have to have left the house at 4:30am to achieve that. We took appointments around 8:30-9am each time and I arrived at work late. I arranged with my boss to work overtime before treatment rather than to stress myself out with late nights while it was going on. On my third cycle I had an appointment every other day for two weeks so it can be quite heavy, but on my second cycle I think I only went in 3 or 4 times. (Both IVF)

I'd wait until you know what treatment you'll be offered and how your hospital run things to be honest.

 

[Lucyboo]

I have told my work as I have to alternative duties because of my job. My work has a fertility policy so worth checking if your employers do anything similar even if you speak directly to hr.

 

[claire2602]

Hiya hun. Im in the same position.... im doing my CIPS - chartered institute of purchasing and supply. Again my company are funding it. I didnt tell anyone about ttc when this opportunity came up. However since then...... i had a few bad day back before xmas where i was uncontrollably crying at work. My boss (MD of company) called HR to come and have a meeting with me. He thought work was getting too much etc. I told HR everything - shes lovely and i get on with her well and i know she wont say anything. Shes told me when treatment time comes just to give her a copy of my hosp letter and shell put it in my file. Then just tell my boss ive got hosp/doc appt. Noone needs to know where i actually am. I defo wouldnt put learning and qualifying on hold. I contemplated that but i am so glad i didnt as i finish my course and will qualify in july (results october) and im still not pregnant so isnt going to affect my learning if i did catch now. Id take everything as it comes - if you do catch and cant do the work/exams you can postpone them etc.
Good luck xxxx

 

[Blueflower]

I took sick leave for all my tests and told my manager they were gynaecological (she has to tick a box) but my last test was bad news and when she asked me how my appointment went (they have to do an unofficial back to work interview) I burst into tears and ended up telling her.

I'm not going to tell her the details of any other appointments but when we have IVF I intend to book planned sick leave between egg collection and transfer and then a few days after that just in case.

I think if you tell them too much early on, they'll assume you'll be leaving soon and this would be hard for your career and also highlight any disapointment if it takes longer than everyone anticpates.

Good luck!

 

[MrsWilson]

Thanks for sharing everyone, I have decided not to tell anyone until 3 months after my bfp.

My office is small so we won't have a policy on fertility or a HR department to speak to but the two directors are so lovely. i know they will offer support (and sincerely mean it) but at the same time I know it's only natural for them to think about the cost of my studies & maternaty etc and I don't want to worry about that (got enough going on!).

I have my consultation this Wednesday so I will at least know what treatment I need and how that's going to effect work/studies but definitely not putting anything on hold x

 

[Hoping for no2]

Hi hon I would have to agree with the previous post about trying to get your ACCA finished before you get pregnant, if at all possible. I found out I was pregnant accidentally after doing the final 2 exams and thankfully found out a few days later that I had passed both. I quickly realised I would never have been able to study for a resit whilst pregnant due to feeling ill/tired/baby brain etc. I also would not have been able to sit the exams during the first few years of my sons life as you simply don't have time with a little one. The exams get progressively harder too and I was studying every evening and every weekend for the final set of exams for about 4 months.

However I understand your situation if you have been waiting for a referral and you obviously don't want to put it off and have to wait a long time to be referred again.

Just bear in mind it might take some time to become fully qualified if you take a break from your studies to have a baby.

Best of luck with your journey xxx