TiffanyJaynexo
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FebMum2Be
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I don't think ending the relationship is the right thing to do, you seem to love eachother, after being in a relationship with a paranoid and insecure person which ended in me asking him to leave, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but you will push him away, you should seek counseling and maybe some self esteem sessions, it would be a shame for the relationship to end because of this. My OH is currently getting help to deal with his problems and hopefully they will work out, him going out is ok, it's ok to have alone time but the trust has to be there for you to be comfortable with it you know? x
FebMum2Be
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It sounds like the exact same thing I had with my OH, saying he will stop and doing it again etc, which unfortunately resulted in us being apart. What I said to him was, they are HIS issues, regardless if he was with me or someone else they would still be there and he needs to sort them on his own, I will support him but I can't stop him being that way, I think counseling is a good idea, maybe start off on your own then bring your OH into it x
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BabysMomma
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In my experience, when one has been let down in relationships, be it boyfriends or friends etc, trust is a BIG issue...when you find "the one" you'll push and push them to see if they remain loyal and stay with you through anything...then the moment they've had enough and walk the other way, one will always state "I knew it, just like all the rest of them".
How I know this? Cos it was me at one stage. It started off with being badly let down by my oh so lovely stepfather, then mother (but I don't really blame her tbh, just disappointed), then fell into crap after crap relationships with blokes who were no good. Have been seriously let down by my siblings and so called friends...then I find my OH and I have pushed him so far so many times in the past that its a wonder he's still with me! I even left him for a year cos I couldn't handle me! Now though, I don't push him near as much, but don't get me wrong, I won't take crap of him, cos he ain't perfect either, but I realised that 90% of the time it was me getting in the way of our relationship.
Hun, it doesn't sound like you guys need to split up. Its just trust issues that need to be worked upon. And these can be exaggerated cos of pregnancy hormones etc. Throughout my current pregnancy I've felt like squealing like a banshee at my OH and have blown lots of the daftest stuff out of proportion when usually I'd let it go over my head.
If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be talking about you to other gals. And the flirtacious friend...god she sounds like one of my sisters...why would your OH want someone like that over you who he thinks is beautiful and is carrying his LO! I get what your saying about the FB pic he's been tagged in and its causing you to think all sorts, but don't you think if he had something to hide then he would ensure that there'd be no mission you could see his FB profile etc?
Aww hun, I do totally understand where you're coming from though, but I think you just need to get him to give ya a big
and reassure ya that alls ok. Hope you can work through it. x
How I know this? Cos it was me at one stage. It started off with being badly let down by my oh so lovely stepfather, then mother (but I don't really blame her tbh, just disappointed), then fell into crap after crap relationships with blokes who were no good. Have been seriously let down by my siblings and so called friends...then I find my OH and I have pushed him so far so many times in the past that its a wonder he's still with me! I even left him for a year cos I couldn't handle me! Now though, I don't push him near as much, but don't get me wrong, I won't take crap of him, cos he ain't perfect either, but I realised that 90% of the time it was me getting in the way of our relationship.
Hun, it doesn't sound like you guys need to split up. Its just trust issues that need to be worked upon. And these can be exaggerated cos of pregnancy hormones etc. Throughout my current pregnancy I've felt like squealing like a banshee at my OH and have blown lots of the daftest stuff out of proportion when usually I'd let it go over my head.
If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be talking about you to other gals. And the flirtacious friend...god she sounds like one of my sisters...why would your OH want someone like that over you who he thinks is beautiful and is carrying his LO! I get what your saying about the FB pic he's been tagged in and its causing you to think all sorts, but don't you think if he had something to hide then he would ensure that there'd be no mission you could see his FB profile etc?
Aww hun, I do totally understand where you're coming from though, but I think you just need to get him to give ya a big
and reassure ya that alls ok. Hope you can work through it. x
FebMum2Be
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Hun I think the hormones are causing havoc at the moment changing a fb picture isn't a big deal, I have mine as Odhrán one day, me the next and something else the next, but it doesn't mean I love him any less, because you aren't too keen on this girl it's probably making it seem a lot bigger than it is.. I was questioned on everything, wether it was my clothes, the way I said something, the way I behaved, a comment on fb, and it cracked me up because something so simple was made a big deal out of, I would always tell him to fuck off and especially if it was something stupid I would just say "because I wanted to" and if I'm being really honest I probably wouldn't have made any effort to see him that day.. Try and take a deep breath and think things through before you say anything, sometimes our minds tend to runaway a bit but to make this work you have to start somewhere, I'm sorry if I sound harsh but after being on the other end I probably would have been a bit arsey if I was being questioned over my fb picture
He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you, and just because his picture is of something else doesn't mean he loves you or your baby any less, you have to address this problem head on, it can be improved. Baby steps x
changing a fb picture isn't a big deal, I have mine as Odhrán one day, me the next and something else the next, but it doesn't mean I love him any less, because you aren't too keen on this girl it's probably making it seem a lot bigger than it is.. I was questioned on everything, wether it was my clothes, the way I said something, the way I behaved, a comment on fb, and it cracked me up because something so simple was made a big deal out of, I would always tell him to fuck off and especially if it was something stupid I would just say "because I wanted to" and if I'm being really honest I probably wouldn't have made any effort to see him that day.. Try and take a deep breath and think things through before you say anything, sometimes our minds tend to runaway a bit but to make this work you have to start somewhere, I'm sorry if I sound harsh but after being on the other end I probably would have been a bit arsey if I was being questioned over my fb picture He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you, and just because his picture is of something else doesn't mean he loves you or your baby any less, you have to address this problem head on, it can be improved. Baby steps x
starstruck2011
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I used to be like that with my ex.
It drove us both crazy.
Just think to yourself - hes with me, we r having a baby. Hes still here and doesnt want anyone else. If he didn't want you - he would have left by now.
Sod the skinny girls (sorry anyone thats thinner than me! lol) Im a size 16 and my OH tells me beautiful everyday. I used to wish my ex would say that to me but never did.
If uve found a guy that just says sweet little things and reassures you and is staying with you - hes a keeper
From my experiences anyway x
It drove us both crazy.
Just think to yourself - hes with me, we r having a baby. Hes still here and doesnt want anyone else. If he didn't want you - he would have left by now.
Sod the skinny girls (sorry anyone thats thinner than me! lol) Im a size 16 and my OH tells me beautiful everyday. I used to wish my ex would say that to me but never did.
If uve found a guy that just says sweet little things and reassures you and is staying with you - hes a keeper
From my experiences anyway x
starstruck2011
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lol no worries. U catch my drift tho - who cares what we look like - weve grabbed our men/women! x
pinkymum
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Don't think I can add much more than what the girls have already said. One huge thing that's helped my paranoia/trust issues is trying to look at a situation from the other persons perspective - I assure you most of the time that person won't be doing things to deliberately upset you.
Keep talking but don't constantly seek reassurance, or accuse OH because like the others have said it'll.push him away.
Hope you guys sort things out!
X
Keep talking but don't constantly seek reassurance, or accuse OH because like the others have said it'll.push him away.
Hope you guys sort things out!
X
DaisyPurple
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I don't want to upset you but he needs to grow up! He's going to be a father soon for gods sake sorry if I offend you with this, I really don't want to cause you any more stress than you are already under, you should try and reduce your stress levels it's not good for the baby or you! Sorry hun x
08Princess
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I agree with DaisyPurple - he needs to grow up.
And whats this calling you a 'weirdo'?! Who does he think he is disrespecting you like that??? You're the mother of his child. He should be treating you like a princess.
You have said yourself that you don't want to be with him anymore so maybe you need to take a big breath and call it a day hun? Or at least have some time apart for a bit.
It can't make the situation any worse.
Good luck.
x x x
And whats this calling you a 'weirdo'?! Who does he think he is disrespecting you like that??? You're the mother of his child. He should be treating you like a princess.
You have said yourself that you don't want to be with him anymore so maybe you need to take a big breath and call it a day hun? Or at least have some time apart for a bit.
It can't make the situation any worse.
Good luck.
x x x
LoopyLouize
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Hi Hun -
I agree with the girls , HOWEVER , your both really young and it is understandable that your OH is acting so immature. You are very mature and are bound to mature alot more quickly than your OH. It's human nature really isn't it lol.
In my opinion I think you should give him a massive kick up the backside and tell him he needs to grow the fuck up if he thinks he can be the mature father and understanding boyfriend he is expected to be!
I'm sure in time he will realise this on his own and grow up but until than I'd suggest patience.
Chin up chicken your a lovely girl. I'm sure you will sort it xx
I agree with the girls , HOWEVER , your both really young and it is understandable that your OH is acting so immature. You are very mature and are bound to mature alot more quickly than your OH. It's human nature really isn't it lol.
In my opinion I think you should give him a massive kick up the backside and tell him he needs to grow the fuck up if he thinks he can be the mature father and understanding boyfriend he is expected to be!
I'm sure in time he will realise this on his own and grow up but until than I'd suggest patience.
Chin up chicken your a lovely girl. I'm sure you will sort it xx
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ooh dont wait for him to feed you hun, your not his pet, prove that you can look after yourself and thet you dont need him, it might scare him, men like to feel needed it gives them a hold over you and if they think you need them and cant live without them then often they treat you badly as they know you wont do anything about it. you dont need him, hes around cos you want him to be and you need to show him that so that he appreciates you more. he does sound immature to me.
Georgie0
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I don't think it is just his problem here - yes he wasn't being particularly kind, but being with someone who forever questions you because of insecurity is bl**dy hard work! Its good you realise how bad this is, but you really need to do something about it (other that end the relationship) as it is a pattern that has an awful habit of repeating itself in future relationships.
If you start feeling paranoid, go out for a walk, have a bath and do anything to give yourself some time away from the situation so you can start to see it with some distance. For example; changing photos on facebook. Is that really a big enough deal to even mention to him? He is probably feeling pretty cr*p because you don't trust him enough to give him some space. At the end of the day, he is with you. He is having a baby with YOU and not with someone else!
If you start feeling paranoid, go out for a walk, have a bath and do anything to give yourself some time away from the situation so you can start to see it with some distance. For example; changing photos on facebook. Is that really a big enough deal to even mention to him? He is probably feeling pretty cr*p because you don't trust him enough to give him some space. At the end of the day, he is with you. He is having a baby with YOU and not with someone else!
