Dedication to Mother In Laws.....

[AndreaJayne]

Just wanted to dedicate a post to MIL's I know everyone feels different about theirs, some love them, some don't mind them and some hate them.

Mine....

I find utterly down right annoying, boring, sad, selfish and old fashioned. I thought we need a place to air our feelings and get off our chests the things we can't say to our OH's!

My MIL seems to think that she knows best and that she can control everything about this baby, and the OH well he thinks the sun shines out of her backside and I can't say one bad word about her as he runs to her. One thing I know is no matter how much someone interferes it will not change that this is my son and not hers and I will bring him up the way I want to and will not stand for anyone telling me how I should do anything........

Do I want to go to his mums for sunday lunch, to be honest I couldn't give two hoots, we had a bit of a fall out because I wasn't happy about her going and buying nearly everything without speaking to me. I only made an effort with her before for the sake of my OH but I don't care about making an effort, but obviously can't tell him ha


Sorry for the long post but I encourage everyone else to release their MIL tension and type whatever they feel like saying no matter how mumbled it sounds

 

[Maybe_mummy]

I have 2 MIL's!!!!!! To be fair one dont seem much but shes always been ok and the other is lovely but like to express her opinion! We went to Babysrus the other week cos I wanted some wall stickers to match my bedding and they didnt have any instore to which she proceeded to tell me that maybe there werent any, dispite me telling her they are on the website! I wanted to biy a changing mat and she was like well leave it till you baby shower cos people will want to buy you things! I felt sooooo mad which normally I wouldnt mind.

To be fair my mum is just as opinionated so I bet my oH thinks the same I have a lot worse other mother in laws to be fair with my Ex's so overall I cant complain too much! LOL XXXX

 

[AndreaJayne]

Two??? Is that a good thing or bad? ha At least they aren't too bad, I think sometimes they don't think about how you may take things when it is said, you would think they would going through it all themselves and that. Do you think of a nice way to say, no thank you I will do things my way? x

 

[mummy2b19]

My MIL saw my mum in the street the other wekk went up behind her didn't say hello just tod her that she needed to keep her purse shut as she was spending far too much money on the baby, that she was spoiling me and why couldnt I have a second hand Pram (My mum said that she wanted to buy us a pram as her mum bought one for her when she was pregnant)
1. she had no right to comment if my mum wants to buy the baby things why shouldnt she
2. My mum is spoling her granddaughter NOT me
3. I would have been perfectly happy with a second hand pram, my mum wanted to buy it new as most other things for the baby have been/ wil be second hand.

My mum was really upset by this but dosnt want me to say anything because she dosnt like to cause trouble, Aghh as if im not stressed enough at the moment!

OK Rant over think i may be visiting this thread often lol x

 

[AndreaJayne]

Hey mummy2b19, I find that so rude of your MIL! I would find it hard to not say anything, your mum sounds so lovely to not want to say anything I just can't help but speak out. What did your mum say to her when she said that? It sounds to me like your MIL may be jealous of the things your mum is buying for the baby maybe she can't afford as much or she may just be a jealous person. I think it is sad when people think about their own feelings more than the mother to be's. xxx Have a weekend focused on you hun help you relax xx

 

[Maybe_mummy]

I just stormed off in this instance so she probably thought I was being childish but at the time didnt care. LOL Felt like shouting F OFF! But I was restrained! The other mother in law who we dont see shes fine she is OH step mom and her daughter is pregnant due in 2 weeks so shes getting all the attention at the mo which is fine. Shes more like a friend not MIL she likes a good chat and a drink etc so never had that sort of you do my head in relationship with her!! ha ha ha

 

[AndreaJayne]

The MIL you mentioned last sounds nice and easy to get on with. I don't blame you for storming off, I have found myself having to when me & OH argue as he infuriates me more so the only way to calm myself down from getting stressed and upset is to walk away.
My OH is an only child and his mum's whole life has revolved around my OH and his dad, she has no life of her own, when my OH moved out they got a dog, and the dog is now what she treats like a baby, she even wipes the dogs bum with a baby wipe every time it has pooed....sorry but I find that very sad and hilarious at the same time. She always whinges ' oh the dog had me up at 6am this morning' I think well don't let it sleep in your bed then, I know she loves it secretly ha xx I sound like a right bitch ha xx

 

[marshma]

I am yet to give Mil a grandchild but she has others, my husband does not speak to her because she is a vile horrible nasty piece of work

 

[So_hopeful81]

When my MIL found out baby had down syndrome, she felt it essential to come to my house and explain to me that she is surprised me and her son have not split up over it, as she was so sure her son would feel repulsed by the baby!!! Then proceeded to chat about the fact that DS people are funny looking (she said it about 20 times over and over again!) and also was worried about what people would say about it! I did (after a considerable amount of time and a great deal of biting my tongue!) tell her that I didn't give a shite what people thought, because all I felt was love toward my child!

Problem was - I probably was thinking the same kind of stuff a she was- but with that news, I just needed people to be positive! And I just wanted her to shut up! Luckily she did then!!!

She has accepted the new now, although will still lack political correctness with me at times- which is just her, and I have to accept that about her! My FIL on the other hand is a pig, who won't accept this as a pregnancy. He has said he wants no part of it all until he has to! He's a pig!!!

 

[Mamafy]

Jeepers so-hopeful I can't believe people are so rude

How far along are you, on tapatalk so can't see sigs xx

 

[AndreaJayne]

Hopeful that is awful!!
My auntie has downs syndrome and there is nothing wrong with her, she still does things that everone else does and has friends and even has her own place, I think some people comment before they know much about it. I am proud of you to standing up to her as like you said you need support right now not criticism.
I think it is very heartless and thoughtless for her to say the things she did, I think that they will feel very differently once the baby is here, I think my auntie is great and she makes me laugh and she even has her own cat! They can lead normal lives and do normal things, the only difference is their brains' aren't as developed as ours but they are still bright and clever! xxx

 

[AndreaJayne]

Hey Marshma, lucky for you, you won't have to deal with her. I am sure that things will happen for you soon. I remember people saying ' it will happen when you least expect it' and I hate that saying!! But you know what they were right! xxx Good luck xxx

 

[MrsT2011]

My MIL doesn't speak English!

Unfortunatley my SIL's do and they more than make up for the fact MIL can't!

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

Well just to cheer this thread up my mil is awesome! She has paid half of our pushchair for us and has promised more once Pip arrives. I know she will as well as he is her first grand child. She was so excited when we told her, and was thrilled when she found out he was a boy (there is a JCB bed she wants for him! )

 

[mummy2b19]

Hey mummy2b19, I find that so rude of your MIL! I would find it hard to not say anything, your mum sounds so lovely to not want to say anything I just can't help but speak out. What did your mum say to her when she said that? It sounds to me like your MIL may be jealous of the things your mum is buying for the baby maybe she can't afford as much or she may just be a jealous person. I think it is sad when people think about their own feelings more than the mother to be's. xxx Have a weekend focused on you hun help you relax xx

My mum was kind of speachless she just said she was sorry that she had to get back to work she was on her lunch break. I want to say something but like yourself my OH thinks the sun shines out of her backside. and I really dont want to start an argument. They have got money they are just really tight with it which is obviously up to them completly. We don't expect anyone to buy us anything obviously we are really greatful when people do and my mum dosnt really have alot of money both my mum and dad work full time my dad works 7 days a week as a landscape gardner and only ever takes a week off over xmas he never takes any other holidays but money if still tight. They enjoy spending there money on other people though. Im very much the same I would rather go and buy something for my mum or boyfriend or siter than something for myself. I think maybe she is jealous because me and my mum have a very close relationship and we spend loads of time together ( My saturdays consisit of going food shopping with mum to asda walking the dogs in the afternoon then watching X Factor Sad I know) and because she has two boys she dosnt get to do things like that maybe thats why???

 

[mummy2b19]

When my MIL found out baby had down syndrome, she felt it essential to come to my house and explain to me that she is surprised me and her son have not split up over it, as she was so sure her son would feel repulsed by the baby!!! Then proceeded to chat about the fact that DS people are funny looking (she said it about 20 times over and over again!) and also was worried about what people would say about it! I did (after a considerable amount of time and a great deal of biting my tongue!) tell her that I didn't give a shite what people thought, because all I felt was love toward my child!

Problem was - I probably was thinking the same kind of stuff a she was- but with that news, I just needed people to be positive! And I just wanted her to shut up! Luckily she did then!!!

She has accepted the new now, although will still lack political correctness with me at times- which is just her, and I have to accept that about her! My FIL on the other hand is a pig, who won't accept this as a pregnancy. He has said he wants no part of it all until he has to! He's a pig!!!

OMG this has actually left me gob smacked as if someone could say something like that. I don't like your mother in law xx

 

[BellaRiven]

Unfortunately my MIL died about 6 weeks into me knowing and dating my other half.

I have been told that had she been alive we would have got on like a house on fire , I really wish I could have got to know her but life is like that sometimes.

Now the MIL from my previous marriage sheesh she wa sa B***H all in capitals.

 

[Zoeox]

I like my MIL, with this being the first grandchild for both sets of parents everyone is really excited. Plus my MIL is a fun fun character anyhow. x

 

[l_maclean]

Mine's a bit odd. Its not that i DONT get on with her, im just not quite sure what to do with her. I find this really really strange, as most of my friends are of her/my mum's generation, so im sure its not an age thing.

she's very involved in the church, and DH's family are not a very open family - which i find weird cos my family are open about most things, like my mum was referring to scott as "uncle" to my neice after we'd been together 2 months.

I'd love to be able to talk to mil more, cos her first child (girl) died of sids, and im really worried about this know that we've been told we're having a girl. Caroline was the only girl in DH's family for a fair while, and theres not been one since. but im not comfortable enough with her to approach this. other people have said she's really excited about her first grandchild, but ive not seen it.

I'd really like to be closer to her.
xxx

 

[Constantstar]

I find my mother in law pushy and overpowering. Sometimes I think oh your being quite nice and other times I can't stand her. She drinks a lot too an smokes and moans to my oh that she has no money. She hasn't really brought Owen anything. She came over the other day an said oh these wipes were buy one get two free and then gave me 1 packet?! Lol and is also very bossy. I said can I have Owen please and she was like no il do it! She also took o for the day last tuesday and i said he needs ro be home for 3.30 and she turned ip at 5.00 That got my back right up xx