mother in laws!!!!!

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Tara & Liam, Sep 16, 2005.

  1. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Sorry everyone this is a rant. i need to get it off my chest :evil:

    went for a scan yesterday, not sure if its a boy or not. baby wasnt very obliging.

    told MIL and she was like, well never mind it wasnt clear it could still be a girl.

    bloody hell i was fuming. couldnt say anything to DH as he doesnt want to know the sex. Why is his mother so obsessed with having girls. Just because i have 2 boys already it doesnt mean that i wouldnt want another one.

    she did want us to have a blue eye and blonde baby when i was pregnant with Joshua, but as my dad is bi-racial and i have dark brown hair and brown eyes it was highly unlikely.

    The thing is she is a lovely lady but this has peeved me.

    sorry ladies. i feel better now.

    xx
     
  2. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    My M.I.L is extremely generous and her heart is in the right place.

    Her only fault is that she doesn't engage brain before opening her mouth!

    She saw me when I was about eight weeks pregnant. I hadn't started showing then but I happened to be very bloated so my tummy was really poking out.

    In not so many words she told me that I was looking really fat already and would be absolutely massive by the time I was full term.

    I was absolutely livid and got a massive headache as a result of not being able to stop thinking about it.

    As it turns out, my bump is actually very neat now and a nice size and when she sees me now whe says I look a bit small! :shock: I cannot win!

    Oh well. That is M.I L's for you.
     
  3. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    I dont know my future MIL all that wel, my OH parents live 2 hours away from us so i have only met her a handful of times.

    but i have been told that she has booked a week of work when the baby is due, and shes coming up to "help" me.

    im not best pleased at this, she didnt ask, i dont need any help, got 2 kids already so i know what im doing, and im extremly house proud so if she does any house work i will prob end up doing again myself anyways!

    i know i sound very ungreatful, but i have my own way of doing things, always have, and i dont like it when someone else comes in and mucks that up
     
  4. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    I don't want my Mil anywhere near me after I give birth and if DH wont stand up to visitors like her then I will!!

    My mum has two other children and my stepdad is self employed and has had little work this year due to illness. They have a council house and don't have much money, however she's been picking up little bits and bobs here and there for the baby and even bought me some maternity trousers from Next, which I thought was really sweet and I don't expect it.
    DH's parents own their own home and have no mortgage, they have no other children apart from him. Her gifts so far have been a market bought shawl and towel (really gross) and she said she'd spotted some rattles in the studio cards catalogue. There's no need for her to be tight with money, believe me they have plenty. I know it's really ungrateful to moan about, but I don't want to dress my baby in cheap nasty uncomfortable clothing and if that's what Mil continues buying then I wont be using it. I'm not out buying designer wear and a lot of what I've got is from Matalan (but is good quality) with a few bits from Next.
    She's been telling us not to buy stuff as people will buy things for us when the baby is born, what I've been trying to explain to her is that we cannot wait til the baby is born and see what people have gotten us, but she's oblivious. I don't know who she thinks is going to step forward with all these presents, but we don't have much family either side.

    On Sunday she landed herself on us for 3 hours when I felt really poorly, so if she's like that now, whats she going to be like when the baby does arrive? She was moaning about a friends son who had a baby but they didn't let their mother know for 12 hours afterwards!! OMG tragedy!! I think I will just get the initial visit over and done with afterwards and then tell her and others that DH and I want to spend some time alone together for a few days to bond as our family.

    Why do I feel so aggressive already about people being near my baby. I hate the thought of her being passed from pillar to post by people wanting a cuddle and touching her face with their dirty hands!
     
  5. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    oh my god rosie

    my MIL is not that bad. she is really good apart from the whole issue of baby girls is a nightmare. there are 8 boy grandkids and 3 girls. so it is not as if she hasnt got granddaughters. i wouldnt mind but when DH and his brother and sisters were kids she treated the girls horribly and the boys like gods.

    i think she just likes to buy the pretty dresses.

    i feel like not finding out at the next scan on the 26 sept.
     
  6. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    That's how I felt. Fil made a comment about how it was definately going to be a boy, like if it was a girl it would be a big disappointment. When we did find out he said he didn't want to know! Oh so that wouldn't have made it too difficult with everyone else knowing :roll: . Mil let the cat out of the bag to him within 24 hours though.

    She doesn't like the name we've chosen either. Tough titties!!
     
  7. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    I love the name Ella Grace. We had 3 names that we might have had for a girl and that was Lucy, Olivia or Ellie. We chose Lucy eventually but Ella Grace is beautiful. reminds me of a really dainty fairy princess little girl.

    Sod her keep the name. lol

    x
     
  8. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    I know someone who's MIL ring up and asks for the phone to be put next to the baby so she can hear it.
    If the baby is asleep she demands it is WOKEN UP!!!!

    My MIL can be bad but not THAT BAD!
     
  9. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    Just to add a possitive bit about MIL's.

    Mine is great (well most of the time) she used to be a nurse so of course she likes to think she knows all there is to know about health / pregnancy / babies etc but appart from that she is great. I am having my scan tomorrow and she is taking my two (aged 4 and 5) to the shops whilst we are gone to buy something for the baby......she looks after my two at every opportunity and despite being 64 is looking forward to looking after the baby too. She's a real support and only a mile up the road - don't know what I would do without her.
     
  10. kelly_chunn

    kelly_chunn Well-Known Member

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    My mil is lovely too. She is always there to help and has never tried to tell us what we should or shouldn't b doing. We had two boys at mo and are expecting a little girl, my mil has all boys, so am quite pleased that we are having a girl.
     
  11. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    I have to say that my Mother in Law is great too! I'm really lucky in that my inlaws are really lovely people...who produced my lovely husband, I guess! They have six grandkids already so they are used to all the fuss... and in no way has anyone interfered apart from telling me to take care of myself and in general being really kind. When I had a scare at 9 weeks she actually cooked hot meals and brought them over for my husband and I so that I wouldn't have to get out of bed. I feel blessed!

    Sue
     
  12. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps that what it is - my husband is the youngest of 4 so they have 6 other grandchildren before ours so I guess they don't feel they have to be a part of every moment and interfer all the time......they know the drill!!
     
  13. Ragna

    Ragna Well-Known Member

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    On the MIL thread i absolutely adore mine and she is the nicest person you could ever meet and never interfering. I know that if I needed her she would be here straight away, and the same goes for my Father in law. Im just lucky I guess.

    When i was having My fifth child because I had had boy first then 3 girls everyone just assumed that I wanted a boy. So I had loads of people make comments and when my daughter Beth was born a neighbour actually said to me,
    "Hope you are not too disappointed"
    I looked at her gone out and said "How the hell can I be disappointed with a healthy and beautiful little girl"
    To say I was fuming is an understatement.

    People are so tactless

    Ragna xxxxx
     
  14. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    I agree. Plus they think they can say whatever they want to you when you are pregnant. Since when did it become ok to comment on people's weight gain? Only seems to be publicly acceptable if that person is pregnant, which I think sucks. Keep your opinions of my bump size to yourself!!

    MIL came up with a gem on Sunday. A friend of the family is having a baby and her bump has only grown 1cm between her two midwife appointments. She's got 3 weeks left and they want her to go for a scan to check the size of the baby as they are worried it seems small.
    MIL doesn't think the baby grows much during the last few weeks so it wont matter if they induce her now. :roll: I tried to explain that the baby puts on the most weight in the final weeks. She's had 2 children (had 1 adopted) so how can she be so thick?
     

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