Dealing With mum, Help!

[mookie]

I really need some advice.

I'm due in september and the plan is for mum to look after my son whilst hubby is with me at the hospital. Problem is mum thinks she will be looking after him at her house, which I don't want. I really don't know how to deal with things.

The reason I don't want him looked after at mum's house is because:

The house isn't child proof. My son wouldn't be watched properly as mum would leave him alone to do house work. My 10yr old brother would be left to look after my son and I don't think thats appropriate. There are far too many reasons to list, at least my house is safe & he is comfortable here. It's only 15 mins away from mum's.

I don't know how to tell mum I'm not happy with what she believes is happening, she has never looked after lo before as I don't 100% trust her and she always says she is too busy.

I know as soon as I say something mum will throw a hissy fit and tell me she can't put her life on hold for me for a day or two. Plan is for hubby to have lo as soon as I have given birth. What do I do?? Please help x

 

[LuciaLeek]

Hmmm, this is a tricky one so not sure what to advise.

Maybe suggest it to her without being negative or voicing your concerns. Try and pass it off as that your LO finds it difficult to sleep anywhere else but home etc. Plus, you want your Mum and LO at the house ready and waiting for you to return from hospital. Lay it on thick about how you would love that kind of welcome home with your new bundle.

Alternatively, is there anyone else who could look after him? If she complains, just say you don't want to put on her when she has her own son to look after.

Sorry if this is no help at all. I didn't want to read and run. It is a difficult situation for you to be in, but from your comments you are well within your rights to be concerned about him being left with a 10 year old.

Hope it works out well, whatever you decide xx

 

[Froslass]

I'd calmly explain that this is something that is worrying you, and would It be possible for her to care for LO in your House instead.

Explain to her this would be a weight off your mind as you're concerned that having LO will be a big enough change for your wee man, so you'd like him to be as undispruted as possible x

I;m sure your mum will understand hun x Hopefully she won't have a problem and will do it to put your mind at reast x

 

[AbbyJ]

I sympathise as my mum is a bloody nightmare too.I can't say a word without getting my head bitten off so can really feel for you. If she's anything like my mum then getting her to understand will be nigh on impossible, but hopefully yours isn't as bad as mine! All I can suggest is like the others have said, say your son wnats to be at home when his baby bro/sister comes home. x

 

[Merfairy]

Hey, I am with the others; suggest he not 100% and needs to be at home or something along those lines, or he not sleeping or something, try to be a little insistent without being negative and attempt to put your feelings over assertively (is harder then it sounds I know, I have a nightmare sister who I stuggle with). Alternatively, find someone who you can trust to look after your children.. sorry maybe not much help... I hope something works out for you.. xx

 

[KellyHook]

I hope that you can suggest for her to come over to yours to look after your son! its going to be hard enough for him having to spend time away from you while your at hospital, so if you can make it easier for him then that should be her main concern! its only once that your asking her to come to yours and watch him!

See i dont have that problem now, MIL was ment to look after my daughter while im in hospital, but she has fallen out with us, over a stupid pathetic reason so not really sure who will watch her now! OH SIL lives 4 doors down so i know if i really need her she will look after her but she has 4 boys of her own thats why i didnt ask her in the 1st place!