Dan has walked out on me

[poochielove]

2 weeks to go and my OH has done one. TBH i saw it coming as he is far too selfish for this baby or to help me out in any way. Blah, cant be bothered to go into much detail over why he left but yeh he has gone and left me with the 2 dogs which i am major stressing as i dont know if i am going to be able to cope with them. I struggled to walk from the car...to argos..and back again today, so how i am going to walk them twice a day i dont know . He smashed his phone up and snapped his sim card so if i do go into labour i wont be able to contact him. He says because he hates me so much he couldnt give a shit about Teddy and does not want to be involved in his upbringing. I really hope he changes his mind on that one as i am sat here crying my eyes out at the prospect that he doesnt want anything to do with his son...he is the innocent party in all this. I also am shitting myself as i have no money for bills or food and our returned deposit from our old house is going into his bank and i was going to have half of it (£350) but now i cant get hold of him. Oh fucking hell i dont know, i have no idea whats going to happen now.

 

[charlotte_]

oh fucking hell hun, that's the last thing you need what a *******. don't really know what to say, but i didn't wanna read & run, hope you're ok

 

[emmie]

Oh my god hun i am so sorry to hear this, he sounds like a right selfish *******, if you need anything hun i am only down the road in Oakham so i would help if you needed it. I will pm you my number.

 

[lauramumof2]

What a dick.

 

[kmac]

sorry to hear this
Do you think he'll come back? Would you want him to?
Do you have friends or family nearby who could help out with the dogs?
Hope you are ok

 

[fran_23]

Had to come in to third tri to say something!
Omg what a selfish nasty horrible pig (dont want to swear in this nice pregnant lady forum)
I cannot believe he has done and said all of that to you! is there anyone who can take the dogs? thats the last extra stress you need! and is there any other way to get hold of him, email or something just to ask about the money and the dogs and other such arrangements? I am so sorry you are going through this at any time let alone right before the imminent birth of your baby! sending lots and lots and lots of hugs..so sorry hun

 

[charlotte_]

is there any other way to get hold of him, email or something

yeah, or could maybe try his mum?

 

[Snuggle]

Maybe its just a huge argument and you will sort things out? He is a selfish sh*t!
I am in Oakham too so not far away hun

 

[Cixes]

Oh hun! First things first don't go getting yourself upset because it will only stress Teddy out (easier said i know).

Hopefully he will realise what a total idiot he has been and within a few days sort his head out and get over himself, my ex did this to me when i was pregnant (although i was still at home with my parents) so i know what its like to go through. In my honest opinion he is probably having a panic attack about becoming a parent, but he should of got used to it by now! If he doesn't want to be around then your probably better off without him and Teddy will be too. It not easy but its not as hard as you might imagine either.

Have you got family close by who you can get some support from?

I don't really know what to say about the bill and money situation, but i am sure that if you go to citizens advice they can help you get some financial help of some sort, and get your rights sorted.

I am so sorry that there is nothing else i can say, except be strong and put you and Teddy first. If you need to give the dogs up then thats what you have to do, they will surely go to a good home. big hugs to you and i hope you get sorted soon xx

 

[poochielove]

sorry to hear this
Do you think he'll come back? Would you want him to?
Do you have friends or family nearby who could help out with the dogs?
Hope you are ok

He has already done this to me right at the beginning and on the day of my first scan, so i think this needs to be a clean break now, i keep having him back for the sake of the baby and dogs but its just too much now.
I am embarassed to ask my family for any more help as i had had to ask them to help me do all the things he was supposed to do. I know they will help with the dogs but its just not fair. I have just moved in the middle of no where so he could have a garage and now i am stuck here and dont even drive.

 

[poochielove]

He hasnt got an email, so i will have to try calling his mum tomorrow. Problem is she will defend him until the cows come home. I just hope he sees sense when he has calmed down. I dont want to be with him anymore as its like having a kid already but i am just so worried he will not be ionterested in our son. I know he will get in touch about the dogs as he cares about them more than me, and would never see them rehomed. I am just so so so sad for Teddy i love him so much already and i dont know how anyone can say they dont care.

 

[Petra]

OMG hun, I can't believe him. How irresponsible and selfish is he ! I hope he realises that and comes back begging you.. Have lots of these

 

[nori]

So sorry to hear this. Its all you need right now! Dont be worried about leaning on your family in times like this though as thats what they are there for. My OH buggered off when i was seriously ill and without my family i wouldnt have got through it.

I would try and get in contact with him and get the dogs sorted first of all (that will ease the burdon of walking them daily) and then just leave the ******* to it (if you dont think its ever going to work).

Try not to let the bills etc get out of control. If there is something which cant be paid ring the company concerned and explain the situation. Getting into debt is the last thing you need.

Good luck hun and let us know how you get on,

Claire x

 

[MagicMarkers]

 

[krissie23]

Had to come in to third tri to say something

Me too! I can't believe he has done this to you, what a complete and utter selfish excuse for a man!

In my honest opinion he is probably having a panic attack about becoming a parent, but he should of got used to it by now! If he doesn't want to be around then your probably better off without him and Teddy will be too. It not easy but its not as hard as you might imagine either.

I think Cixes is right.. it does sound like he's just panicked a bit, maybe because you're so close to giving birth and it might have just hit him that he's about to become a Dad iykwim?? But as she said, he should have got used to the idea at this point! I wouldn't be worried about asking your family for support and help, I'm sure they'd be more upset if they found you in this situation and you hadn't asked them for help? I hope he comes to his bloody senses and grows some b***s!

 

[Flame]

What a selfish man! I think your right not to take him back this time. Sounds like you and your baby will be better off without him.

If he owes you money why not tell him somehow that you are selling the dogs on as you need the money, if he cares about them as much as you say he does he will hopefully turn up for the dogs and hopefully with some money in hand. You dont really need to get rid of the dogs i just figure he might turn up and you can try and get some money from him.

Is the house in just his name or both of yours? if in just his name go and stay with a family member or friend and let him have to deal with the bills etc, i would say the same if it is in both of your names only explain to the landlord why you are doing it first. Let him pay the bills you need your money to look after the little one.

Can you contact the place where your deposit is coming from and tell them that it is now to be put into your bank account?

 

[Sammystar]

what a w*nker

 

[Alicebabe]

Dont know what to say - just didnt want to read and run. Hopefully, he will cool down and see sense about Teddy xx

 

[poochielove]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I will just have to make it work somehow. Funnily enough i am not bothered about him being gone as it was a long time coming and i kind of resent him for what hes been like the past 9 months...i am just so worried about the LO. Everyones advice is great and i dont know what i would do without this forum sometimes
I am going to clean the house and take my mind of things i think, if i can

 

[lea m]

Oh hun Im sorry! What an arse!!
Hun try not to worry so about Teddy! Either your ex will come around and want to part of his life or he will continue to be a t*at but as long as Teddy has you and your love that you clearly already have for him, he will be perfectly fine sweetheart!