Could you shop ur kids?

[Marymary]

Random scenario I know but would u report ur child to the police for commiting some sort of heavy crime? Or would u lie and do anything to prevent them being taken away

I totally understand the reasons for doing so, protection and to teach them right from wrong but you know I dont think I could, no matter how bad. I think Id lie, cheat or kill for Scarlett if she needed me to..

Your thoughts?

Im only hypothesising (big word lol) so please dont think Im judging or imposing my opinion as the right one.. just a friendly debate

(Let's pray to god we never experience this eh?)

 

[beanie]

No. I am a massive believer that we should face up to the consequences of our actions and I will bring my children up to know this. If I knew they committed an offence I would give them an option, either they hand themselves in or I report them. I would be there with them and support them all the way but I would not condone their behaviour. I may sound very draconian but I work with too many people who's family make excuses for them or cover for them and these people are the hardest to work with.

My mum made me apologise to my friend after I sto;le her necklace (I was about 5) and I have never been so ashamed in my life.

 

[Marymary]

I know, see, when I think about it- it varies. As if, say scarlett age 5 was to steal a mates necklace like you said, I would def make her admit it and teach her the lesson that way.

But, Im not really after that, I meant BIG stuff, stuff that u would lose them to jail for for a long long time. Would u do all u could to protect them then? Or view it as ur duty to report them or make them admit to it?

When it comes to the big stuff I dont think I could report her .

 

[beanie]

I think it would be a difficult decision but I always think what if you were the victim or the victims family, you would want the person responsible to be punished. And also you are basically saying to your child that it is ok to behave like that, by not doing anything you are colluding with them. Am sounding like I am having a go, I'm not as this is something I am genuinely interested in. I presume by a big crime you are talking about murder, a nasty assault etc. What idf through being punished they could recieve help, such as if they had a pattern of being violent when drunk etc??

 

[Marymary]

Oh no I dont think u sound like ur having a go at all! It's cool we think different, that's why I asked- would be dull if everyone went, "yeah ditto"

I see ur point and Id be devastated that I had to collude with them and not make them pay as Id still be angry with them . Id never let them think it was ok with me, BUT I think Id rather that than them have twenty plus years in jail

 

[frangelle]

Depends on what it was. If they were a threat to others then definately, it would be very selfish of me not to...

 

[libs]

No - I'd report him - and he'd take the consequences. If he had to do 20 years in jail then it'd be an horrific crime and he'd need that time to accept what he had done.
Not reporting him would always run the risk that he'd do whatever again as there had been no consequences. he may be my son but he's no different to the rest of society.

 

[Marymary]

But as their parent, wouldnt u see it as a massive mistake rather than something they'd persistently do? Because im talking from our 'parent' perspective I think this is the way Id view it

 

[Melly+2]

couldnt we just not report em and stick em in our own little cages in the bottom of the garden and make em eat worms, id have to do that coz it be too frighteded to see em go even though theyd deserve it

 

[Marymary]

Yes! Fab idea! Mind you, the way Scarlett shoves stuff in her mouth worms might not be a problem lol!

U should work in the government, thats the best idea Ive heard lol

 

[Melly+2]

good init, supernanny eat your heart out

 

[libs]

But as their parent, wouldnt u see it as a massive mistake rather than something they'd persistently do? Because im talking from our 'parent' perspective I think this is the way Id view it

for a long prison sentence chances are they've hurt someone in some way. No - I wouldn't want to take the chance he'd do it again and it wasn't a huge mistake. If he (for example) killed someone through drink driving or something (which could be viewed as an accident) then some other mother wouldn't have a child anymore. I'd still have him, I'd still love him, but he would have to be punished, otherwise how could I ever expect any other person to pay their price for doing something wrong.

For a short prison sentence - a short sharp shock like that works better than any parental browbeating etc - and unfortunatly I speak from experience as a stepmother to adult children

 

[Emmylou]

I would also be thinking about the victims family I really think I'd shop them....DH thinks he'd lie but says it would depend on the circumstances.

My response would be, if your child was the victim, would you want the culprit brought to justice? I think you should face the consequences of your actions.....I would also question why s/he should be allowed to get off.....and possibly do wrong again affecting another person/ family

Good debate though

 

[beanie]

What if the victim of their offence was a child, a mother, someones gran. What if they had burgled someone who was now terrified of turning out the lights in their own home. What if they devastated someones life, so they were afraid to go out, to trust anyone, to live their life. Would it still be a mistake?? When does it stop being a mistake, the second time, the fifth time???

Like I said earlier I work with way too many people who's family excuse their crimes as a mistake. I can't go into details but alot of these crimes have had very serious consequences on others, yet they don't see that they have done wrong as their family have helped them to minimise their responsibility, therefore why should they change? The poeple who go on to chge, who make a difference are those that know that what they did is not aceptable, and that there were consequences including consequences to themselves in term of prison etc. Shopping someone does not mean you turn your back o them, I have regular contact with parents of my cases, who are there for their children throughout.

 

[leckershell]

I think I would heavily suggest that they turn themselves in or I would do it for them. I'm a big believer that anyone who commits a crime should be suitably punished. I would hope that I wouldn't bring a child up to commit a horrific crime in the first place, but if they were to, then they would need to be punished just as much as the next criminal. Think of the victims and their families, and also imagine what you would feel if it was you who were the victim.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I would turn them in or make them turn themselves in! You wouldnt like it if it were your child that'd been hurt/killed by someone, you'd want that person to be found and punished for it so I don't see how that would be different if it were your child who done the crime, how could you lie for your child? If Harrison stole something from a shop then I might be a bit leaniant (SP?) but if it were off of someone, I couldnt do it, just think how important that item could mean to that person!

 

[lauramumof2]

I fthink I would have to consider the crime.
If it were a fitting punidhment then I would carry along with i t but I dont thinkm our current jusice system aways fits the crime

If it were petty theft I would deal with it myelf but if it were maiming or worse I would let the courts deal with ir.

I love my children si/ sisters but there becomes an age where you have to take responabilites for your actions.