Chidcare plans - bit premature I know but I like to plan ahead

[jodied]

Just wondered what you lovely ladies are planning on doing about childcare if we get our BFPs and if you plan to go back to work after having baby?

I definitely want at least 6 months off with baby but what to do then....

I've got a good career and think I would go stir crazy if I was a sahm.

My mum and dad aren't ready to retire for a couple of years yet and I wouldn't want them to feel obliged to have baby anyway. I would rather they had the baby whenever they wanted to go out or do something special rather than being tied to fixed days every week.

My ideal would be if my friend could look after baby a few days a week and I could go part-time although that's not very easy with my job. Plus there is the issue of friends being paid to look after baby. Had a quick google research on this and if anyone who's not related looks after someone else's child for more than 2 hours/day they have to be OFSTED inspected and registered and don't want my friend to have to do this. I trust her completely and she has done a fab job with her two little ones. Why should she have to be inspected if I'm happy and choose to leave my baby with her? I'd much rather do that than pay a fortune to a nursery or nanny that I don't know!!!!

Sorry rant over...

 

[LouiseB]

Ooooohhhh i love super premature planning!
I'm not entirely sure how they find out about it. I guess it is more to ensure your friend is paying their taxes and not recieving too many benefits - basically commiting fraud by not declaring income. They just try to make it seem like it is for the benfit of the child. It's bs.

Well, i'm employed as my husband's PA/secretary as he is a director of the company.

As it happens my husband is currently under going study so i don't really have any actual set tasks so i'm more like a housewife at the moment and overseeing the house renovation and decoration.

The plan is that when baba arrives that i will become a full time mum, but stay at home mum... not at all.

My sister has been a great example of a full time mum - she has literally been out the door at 8am and not home until 4pm just doing things to enrich her son.

Playgroups, educational activities, visiting local animal shelters, local community events, walking the dog, play dates with other mums - she even started her own playgroup because there she didn't feel they were often enough!

He goes eveywhere with her and they are best friends. It's hard to explain just how simultaneously their minds work. I can't express it in words - i'd love to be able to achieve that and it doesn't come automatically like your natural mother/child bond.

That's the plan anyway when i get my baba To live upto my sister haha

 

[MrsPink]

Hmmm best laid plans... I too am super organised and wen i was pregnant wiv my first we planned that i would go back full time and baby would thrive in nursery.... I ended up nor being able to leave him for more than 3 days even thats a struggle tbh and he has special needs so nursery and paid childcare is not an option. So im part time and we have various family members come in to help. So i would say wait and see how you feel wen that baby comes cuz things change... Feelings.take over!

And ppl will tell you its all about finding the right work life finance balance, but im not so sure thars possible dor everyone so my philosophy is for the moment we have to do xyz... Who know what the future holds!!

Lol....

Hope that helps xx

 

[clairebear22]

Hey!

I'm really lucky because i'm a Childminder! I get to be a stay at home mum and still work, plus my little one will have 'friends' to play with 5 days a week!

The only downside is that I won't get any maternity leave. I can't afford to lose the children I will have after having a baby so I will probably only have my annual holiday as maternity leave and go straight back to minding! I would love to take a year off but it's just not possible and it all comes down to money!

JodieD - You are absolutly right about your friend looking after your future baby. If you pay her and she has him/her for more than 2 hours she will need to be Ofsted registered.

xxx

 

[loobilu]

Oooh, lovely to see that im not the only one who likes to plan well in advance!!!

I am a student nurse (i qualify very soon!yay! ) so i will take 1 year off maternity, then i think i am going to work 3 days a week. But i would like to (best laid plans and all that...dont know if it will happen) work long days/nights (common in nursing) so that i still get full time wage but am actually only working 3 nights and will have 4 days off with babba. My dad is retired but mum still works, hubby has his own business too, so he will be able to help out the 3 nights im working etc! I agree jodie about your friend though, that is pants, some rules just dont make any sense!!! xx

 

[toni64539]

Good thread. I'm a Beauty Therapist and have my own salon. So I would like to come back to work after six months but only do one and a half days. Friday and Saturday are the busiest days at the salon so I would work those, my husband doesn't work Saturday so he could look after baby then and my mum on a Friday (who is lucky enough to not have to work). All sorted!

 

[Vickyxx]

My plan is to give up my job and be a stay at home mum. Me and DH have sacrificed a lot in order to become financially stable and have a nice home to raise our children in, just need to get pregnant now... come on ovaries

 

[jodied]

Thanks everyone. It's so interesting to see what everyone is planning (that's my nosy side coming out!) I guess all we have to do now is get a BFP!!!! x

 

[lrb]

Yeah jodied I can't believe You'd have to get your friend checked out!
I think I would like to be a stay at home mum but finances would probably take over that when the baby would be born, so if I'm still in childcare then, hopefully I'd be able to bring my baby with me to work and work part time, or my mum doesn't work so I'm sure she would love to look after her/him x

 

[Piglet10]

ermm... i think if u arent going to apply for help towards childcare they dont need to be registered..?? as for childcare i hate the thought of putting madison in an overcrowded room with technically people that dont care about her or love her?? if i was going back to work i would want her to stay with family... theres no1 to do it atm as all of my family work themselves so for the time being well just struggle on ... i didnt get SMP anyway so we would be no worse off than we are now and were managin so FX!! oh and i dont want to offend anyone on my opinion of public childcare im sure there are amazing places out there but as far as im concerned you dont know and its just my opinion xx

 

[Piglet10]

Ooooohhhh i love super premature planning!
I'm not entirely sure how they find out about it. I guess it is more to ensure your friend is paying their taxes and not recieving too many benefits - basically commiting fraud by not declaring income. They just try to make it seem like it is for the benfit of the child. It's bs.

Well, i'm employed as my husband's PA/secretary as he is a director of the company.

As it happens my husband is currently under going study so i don't really have any actual set tasks so i'm more like a housewife at the moment and overseeing the house renovation and decoration.

The plan is that when baba arrives that i will become a full time mum, but stay at home mum... not at all.

My sister has been a great example of a full time mum - she has literally been out the door at 8am and not home until 4pm just doing things to enrich her son.

Playgroups, educational activities, visiting local animal shelters, local community events, walking the dog, play dates with other mums - she even started her own playgroup because there she didn't feel they were often enough!

He goes eveywhere with her and they are best friends. It's hard to explain just how simultaneously their minds work. I can't express it in words - i'd love to be able to achieve that and it doesn't come automatically like your natural mother/child bond.

That's the plan anyway when i get my baba To live upto my sister haha

ur sis sounds like an amazing mum!! xx

 

[LouiseB]

ur sis sounds like an amazing mum!! xx

Thanks I'm really proud of her. She had never stuck at anything so the family kind of underestimated her.

 

[clairebear22]

ermm... i think if u arent going to apply for help towards childcare they dont need to be registered..?? as for childcare i hate the thought of putting madison in an overcrowded room with technically people that dont care about her or love her?? if i was going back to work i would want her to stay with family... theres no1 to do it atm as all of my family work themselves so for the time being well just struggle on ... i didnt get SMP anyway so we would be no worse off than we are now and were managin so FX!! oh and i dont want to offend anyone on my opinion of public childcare im sure there are amazing places out there but as far as im concerned you dont know and its just my opinion xx

Hun the law is if you care for ANY child that isn't yours and you are paid to care for them you MUST be registered. Whether the Parents are claiming for childcare or paying out of their own pocket.

This even counts if your looking after a member of your family's children.

Just thought i'd clear that up to avoid any confusion!

Also even I agree with you to some extent about childcare and i've was a Nursery Nurse for 5 years and have now been Childminding for almost 6 years. I have witnessed some awful things over the years and your right that some people are only working with kids because they think it's easy money. But I can assure you there are some fantastic Nursery's and Childminder out there. I can honestly say I absolutley adore all of the children I have cared for since I became a childminder I am still in contact with about 5 diefferent sets of previous parents and see them alot. I'd like to think there's a few fab childminders out there!

I sound like i'm blowing my own trumpet no so i'll shut up! lol

xxx

 

[clairebear22]

Sorry I forgot to add - if the child is over 8 years old then you don't need to be registered to care for them but you do need to let Mr Taxman know your earning money!

xx

 

[Piglet10]

lol i know that childminders are a different kettle of fish anyway ... and theyre working on a much closer basis... we have had previous crap with nurseries and i know a friend of mine who works in one of the 'elite' nurseries in our area and she gets free childcare yet she sends her child to a childminder!! lol oh and i dont think for one sec childminding is easy money lol its money well earned!! xx

 

[clairebear22]

I have to say your friend sounds wise!

If I wasn't a childminder and I had a baby I wouldn't work. But if I absolutley HAD to work i'd choose a childminder over a nursery anyday and i've worked in a nursery! lol

xxx

 

[lrb]

Aw girls ur making nurseries sound bad, im about to work in one in september for first time lool!!x

 

[karenandbump]

Hey ladies.

My little boy goes to a nursery and its one with a great reputation and came well recommended. I can honestly say that Harrison adores the people who work there and has a lovely relationship with them, his speech is well advanced (a lot of which I think is down to mixing with other children) and he is only 21 months and can count to ten and do the aplhabet up to the letter P too.

I agree, you need to look carefully and you can have bad experiences but I just wanted to re-assure people thinking of nursery that it can be really positive. I'm about to go on mat leave in 3 months and we'll keep Harrison in nusery for his 3 days a week because he really enjoys it. I have Mondays and Fridays with him and he chats about painting he's done there etc so I know he has fun.

xxx

 

[clairebear22]

Don't get me wrong nursery's can be a fantastic environment for babies /children. But there are also some not so nice nursery's out there. It's all about doing your homework to see what sort of childcare suits you, your family and your life style.

Karen I defo agree that nursery's aswell as other forms of childcare can be very very beneficial with regards to early education and social skills! Good on your little man!!

lrb i'm sure you'll love working in a nursery! I did for 4 and a half years out of the 5 that I worked in one. Absolutley love childminding now though!

xxx

 

[clem]

With regard to the childcare thing, does anyone else remember a big news story about two female police officers? They both had a small child. They worked on a job share and took care of each others child as well as their own when the other was at work. Neither was getting paid to do it and it sounded like an absolutely brilliant system to me.

Ofsted prosecuted them for 'illegally childminding'. Apparently you can not look after someone elses children for more than two hours a day if you are getting a 'reward'.

Even though neither was being paid for their time, apparently getting their own child taken care of for free in return was considered a 'reward'.

This of course only applies to people who are not ofsted registered

It still makes me angry when I think about this. Surely it should be up to us who looks after our children not up to the government? What gives them the right to take that decision from us? I am aware it is to protect the interests of the child, but in 99.9% of families the interests of the child are the first thing considered! It is how society worked for hundreds, no thousands of years!