cant quite believe it

[loz]

I bled a bit this weekend and went to hospital for a check up and the Dr asked me to come in for an earlier scan yesterday. The dreaded words 'it's bad news' let me and hubby know that we had lost our little baby. Apparently it had died at 7 1/2 weeks, but my body had not got rid of the evidence and there was just an empty sac on the scan. I had had really bad nausea and exhaustion since 7 weeks and the nurse said it was normal to keep producing the pregancy hormone (I was 11 weeks). We are so gutted.
Surely no one can understand the pain until this has happened to them. You get so excited and plan stuff and then the carpet is whipped out from underneath your feet. I feel really embarrassed for some reason. Today I went for my first 'tablet' and have to go back on Thurs for the gruelling 6 hr stint. Thankfully my husband can come then. It was awful today on my own. I was put in a booth at one point and was crying and 3 staff passed by and saw me but none asked me how I was or offered any tissues or drink of water.
Sorry to rant on but just feel so crap. Am going from crying to not caring about anything and back again. Just feel like it is so cruel.

 

[Dee1985]

Im really sorry you are going through this, similer thing happened to me i went for my 12 week scan to see a 12 week baby with no heart beat, i was devistated i felt crushed.
but there is hope hun, please dont give up

 

[madam bully]

I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

Thinking of you and sending you big hugs and love. I know that can't take away the pain but I will be thinking of you honey xxxx

Take your time, no-one expects you to be yourself at the moment so just do what you want and what you feel is right for you.

 

[neeko_1]

i'm so sorry

just get some rest

 

[fothers]

I know exactly what you are going through

I was really upset the first week or so then was sort of numb for a month or so then had a huge embarassing emotional breakdown out of the blue at work one day.

Like you say, unless you have been there you don't know what it is like

 

[SarahB]

so so sorry

 

[tracey 2]

oh hun im so sorry there are no words to say but i can understand how you are feeling,you will go through a range of emotions and feelings over the next few weeks/months but you will get through this hun i promise you that,

If you ever want to chat PM me anytime. take care hun

 

[fynemum]

your words ring too true for most of us here, We do know that pain, and we feel very alone, even if we do have partners, family and friends, like you say, unless you've been through it you can't know.
Many of us here have unfortunately have lost our babies. but it is not just our babies it's our dreams, our future, our legacy we loss....people don't really understand that, unless they have been through it themselves....Now i know dad has lost too, and he is probaly the most likely to understand and be hurting like you, but you carried this life........unfortunately it was to bud on earth and bloom in heaven, you are a mum, to an angel, too beautiful for this world, but you will one day have a babe in arms one day......
Remember YOU are NOT alone...you have friends here, and you can rant when ever you wish...we all do from time to time..Lv and best wishes Yvonne xx

 

[happy-chick]

Im so sorry hun, I know exactly how you are feeling and its not easy.
You will experience every emotion goings in the coming days/weeks, just take your time to work through things and dont feel pressured to feeling better. It takes time.

My thought are with you xxx

(Me & Fella went away for a night, was nice to be away from home and helped us loads)

 

[Happybunny]

I am so sorry Loz. I know you will be hurting so much now. It does seem so terribly unfair, you have quite a few weeks to be excited about your baby and then all of a sudden there is nothing. I found that I got really really upset when I went out and saw people shouting at or mistreating their children, I kept thinking, why them and not me? It is very sad Loz and it will take you some time to come to terms with this...but I promise things will get better...you just need time.

Happy chick's point about getting away is a very good one. I went away to a cottage with my hubby for a few days. It was good just to be away from all the reminders and the pressures of every day life. You do need some time to just do whatever you need to do.

I am here, as are most people on this forum, if you ever need a friend to chat too. A lot of us know what you are going through and want to help you through this.

Lots of love and hugs
Michelle
xxxxx

 

[sarah113]

im so sorry hun

 

[clairescunny55]

so sorry, hope you can get plenty of rest hun

 

[loz]

Thanks everyone for being so sweet and supportive. It will take time to get through this - it really helps to have other people who know how you feel. I have been in a lot of pain since yesterday and just want this week to be over! (I cant seem to work out to turn off my baby counter thing - my hubby did it for me!!!) x x

 

[loz]

oh it's gone, must have done something!

 

[mummykay]

so sorry hun

 

[Alfiesmummy]

im really sorry babeeep taking ach day one at a time, one day youll manage to smile, another youll manageto laugh and the pain slowly eases, youll never forget but you will learn to move on, take care hun, your in my thoughts xxx

 

[sonia205]

aww hunni thats aweful news big hugs 4 u, im here if u want to talk, i lost my angel at 3-5 weeks xx