trixipaws
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- Joined
- Oct 13, 2006
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i'm an intelligent girl (even if i do say so myself!) and if i read a post like what i'm gonna put next i would feel so sorry for the poor, naive little author- i know what i'm gonna put is tragic and grasping onto sackfuls of straws but i cant help it 
i need someone to shake me and slap me in the face! this is why:
as u know i got a BFP on sunday 16 november, i tested because the withdrawal bleed i'd had on the wednesday kept stopping and starting and i just had an "aura" like i did when i was pregnant with millie (hard to explain and didnt realise at time but looking back) going from my previous "period" (withdrawal bleed from pill) i wouldve been 5 weeks on wednesday 19 november. but i went to EPU that day due to light bleeding and my hCG level was 961. (which would be right for 5 weeks as checked on internet!)
well on friday 21 november my hCG was only 636
so iv been diagnosed with a m/c.
however, even only at 5 weeks its very early but i'd AT LEAST expect SOME pain- and more blood than this
i'd expect it to be AT LEAST as bad as a period even if not any heavier or more painful. but its not. its painless- and bleeding only needs pantliners- not even soaking them thru or anything (sorry tmi!)
and being on the pill with both my pregnancies, i obviously ovulated at a wierd time the first time with my daughter, because my LMP with her was 24 august 2006 but at my first scan i thought i was 14+5 weeks and they put me back to 13+2, meaning i was 10 days less far gone than i thought i was. i know their dates were correc because my new due date- moved from 31 may '07 to 10 june '07 was the date i gave birth!
so what if the same thing this time? what if, instead of 5 weeks when my hCG was 961 i was only 3 weeks 4 days? i dont think hCG could be that high so soon tho- unless its possible with multiples pregnancies? i cant help thinking that i couldve been pregnant with twins (i got non-identicals on my side and my boyf got non-identicals AND identicals on his side) and lost one of them
i dont mean to sound insensitive to those who've miscarried one twin or multiple, i really hope i dont upset anyone by painting this scenario as a "hope" in my case so to speak i know its horrible but i think i'm just refusing to believe that im no longer pregnant!
another unlikely but non-upsetting "hope" is that they mis-read my second result and it was 1636 instead of 636, and they wrote the "1" over a line on a box (i dont know where they write these things even if there are any boxes but this is how crazy this makes me!) so it LOOKS like only 636
anyway they want me to go to hosp tomorrow for another hCG blood test. of course io'm hoping my unrealistic explanations for the hCG are true and i'm still pg- but at least even if i dont hear what i want to hear and theyve plummeted to near zero then at least i can get closure!
it is a common thing to go completely in denial i'm not usually succeptible to things like this!
i need someone to shake me and slap me in the face! this is why:
as u know i got a BFP on sunday 16 november, i tested because the withdrawal bleed i'd had on the wednesday kept stopping and starting and i just had an "aura" like i did when i was pregnant with millie (hard to explain and didnt realise at time but looking back) going from my previous "period" (withdrawal bleed from pill) i wouldve been 5 weeks on wednesday 19 november. but i went to EPU that day due to light bleeding and my hCG level was 961. (which would be right for 5 weeks as checked on internet!)
well on friday 21 november my hCG was only 636
so iv been diagnosed with a m/c.however, even only at 5 weeks its very early but i'd AT LEAST expect SOME pain- and more blood than this
i'd expect it to be AT LEAST as bad as a period even if not any heavier or more painful. but its not. its painless- and bleeding only needs pantliners- not even soaking them thru or anything (sorry tmi!)and being on the pill with both my pregnancies, i obviously ovulated at a wierd time the first time with my daughter, because my LMP with her was 24 august 2006 but at my first scan i thought i was 14+5 weeks and they put me back to 13+2, meaning i was 10 days less far gone than i thought i was. i know their dates were correc because my new due date- moved from 31 may '07 to 10 june '07 was the date i gave birth!
so what if the same thing this time? what if, instead of 5 weeks when my hCG was 961 i was only 3 weeks 4 days?
i dont think hCG could be that high so soon tho- unless its possible with multiples pregnancies? i cant help thinking that i couldve been pregnant with twins (i got non-identicals on my side and my boyf got non-identicals AND identicals on his side) and lost one of them i dont mean to sound insensitive to those who've miscarried one twin or multiple, i really hope i dont upset anyone by painting this scenario as a "hope" in my case so to speak i know its horrible but i think i'm just refusing to believe that im no longer pregnant!
another unlikely but non-upsetting "hope" is that they mis-read my second result and it was 1636 instead of 636, and they wrote the "1" over a line on a box (i dont know where they write these things even if there are any boxes but this is how crazy this makes me!) so it LOOKS like only 636
anyway they want me to go to hosp tomorrow for another hCG blood test. of course io'm hoping my unrealistic explanations for the hCG are true and i'm still pg- but at least even if i dont hear what i want to hear and theyve plummeted to near zero then at least i can get closure!
it is a common thing to go completely in denial
i'm not usually succeptible to things like this!
iv just undone 5 days worth of healing 
like the veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy early ones well the "effacing pains" i had 2 days before i gave birth. sort of took my breath away a bit, made me gasp! now those were the sorts of pains i'd been expecting! nowhere near as long as a contraction and of course not even a billion miles near as painful, but still- definite uterine tension going on down there! none since tho. and no "gushing" blood. 
i'd rather have had 3 days of pouring than this long, drawn out spotting i feel so dirty wearing pads!
