Can't find it (TMI thread!)

[xxbeckyxx]

So when I first joined tri3, the girls who were nearly due were talking about feeling for their own cervix to see how it was changing etc. At the time I was like ick, I'll leave it to the professionals
However, now that I am desperate to know if anything will EVER happen I thought I'd have a little go....and I can't find anything.
So has anyone else done it? Whereabouts should I be feeling??? If I can't find anything does it mean I'm nowhere near labour???
This has just made me more frustrated....not what I wanted!

 

[x.Lilly.x]

oooo interesting i wanna no as well! lol

 

[flexilexi394]

It feels like a small donut. I can find mine mines high up though. It's softer now, guess it's changing all the time! I dont really have any tips apart from I find it easiest in the bath x

 

[x.Lilly.x]

so u can like put ur fingers into it? :O
and if u do it in the bath dont u get a shit load of water in you foof???

 

[xxbeckyxx]

I stood up in the bath with one foot on the side of the tub, still couldn't find anything. Bit worried about my sweep on thursday now!
I've never had any sort of physical exam from a doc etc, most I've ever done is lift up my t shirt for the scan!! So what if she goes to do the sweep and it turns out I'm abnormal 'up there' in some way?!?! Eek :S

 

[KatieB]

Hi hun, try not to get frustrated! I asked my mw about this as you hear so many conflicting pieces of advice about whether you should feel your own etc etc...my mw said not only is it "empowering" (her word not mine!) to know what your cervix feels like it can mean you know the diference between when you are in labour and dialating and going to hospital only to find you are 1cm and being sent back home! She said to try sitting on the loo with one foot on the floor and one up on the toilet seat (not especially easy when you have a 3st bump in your way) and to put your forefinger and middle finger in your foof (she said vagina but thats way too formal for this conversation!) and reach back as it feeling through to your back passage. Try moving your fingers up and down, like Lexi said you'll come across a little donut type thing. In a non pregnant non softening cervix it'll feel the same as the tip of your nose, quite firm. If you are "softening" it'll feel like the inside of your cheek. There will be a dip in front of your cervix which is where the mw will be able to tell if your cervix is shortening, just move up a bit from there, you'll know when you've found it. It takes a bit of practise and freaks you out a bit when you can get a tip of your finger in (sorry way tmi) MAKE SURE you have clean hands and short fingernails. You are more likely to be relaxed doing it yourself than having a stranger have a rummage, you know what will feel comfortable and what doesn't. If it doesn't then stop. Some women have a high posterior cervix and can be difficult to reach so don't panic if you can't feel anything, just try again when you feel like it.
Sorry for the essay, my midwife has been a star with explaining things and just thought I'd pass on what she said. I can feel a difference with mine, especially after an hour on the pilates ball! x

 

[flexilexi394]

Lily you can't put your finger in it, it's a donut but the middle is closed. If you can put your finger in it your dilating lol!
Becky don't worry, your midwife will prob find it straight away as they know what they are looking for. You aren't abnormal, you made a baby in the first place! Lol! So don't worry.
I had an internal at 20 weeks and it's a little uncomfortable but as long as you can relax, you'll be ok. Xx

 

[flexilexi394]

Katieb- glad you've said this, as when I go into labour I plan on checking myself! Lol. I want to know I'm over 2 or 3 cms when I decide to go in to hospital, saves wasted journeys! X

 

[JJ Mum]

Blimey Katie B and Lexi, good explanations, you guys are in the wrong jobs!!

I may just have a looksie in the loo later myself now!

 

[x.Lilly.x]

Sorry can I just ask, why cant u give yourself your own sweep then if you can feel your cervix?

 

[Emmamb]

I had a feel for mine the other day and couldnt find it so must b still high up which is prob a good thing at my stage of pregnancy,wen i was ttc i regularly felt 4 it to assess my cycle changes but tbh havent been anywhere near it since my bfp lol xx

 

[KatieB]

Lol JJ mum - am ok checking my own not sure I'd like to be checking others on a daily basis! MW also said its good to know what feels "normal" for you after you've had bubs, as you can quickly determine if something isn't quite right.
Lexi - I'm exactly the same! I want to hold out at home for as long as poss and think this is one way of just knowing when things are on the move! Wouldn't it be a change to go in and say to the mw "Think I'm about 3cm" and actually be correct!
Lily - think they'd be a huge diference in feeling your cervix and actually seperating bits and pieces. MW and docs know exactly what they are feeling for, when they sweep they insert finger(s) into cervix and seperate bag of fluid from neck of cervix. They know how much pressure to use and which direction to move in, if you attempted it yourself you could end up doing more bad than good, worst case you could actually break waters and introduce infection. Theresonly so much I'd attempt at home, checking is fine! x

 

[JJ Mum]

Well I just tried it, and think there is a little stage missing in those instructions Katie!

You need to add , sit on the loo, fully remove Jeans before trying to attempt getting other leg on the toilet seat! ha ha ha

Mine is soft like cheeks , like you said - how exciting...... is that safe to be softening at my stage?

 

[KatieB]

He he JJ mum I have visions of you, jeans round ankles hopping around all over your bathroom cursing my cervix finding instructions! I think it depends on the individual tbh, think there are ladies that start softening, even dialating around 32 weeks but still go over. Also how many pregnancies you've had prior and how many vaginal births. I got excited at the prospect of being 1cm dialated and mw still said it could be days if not weeks before labour starts. God damn our bloody bodies, text book timings would be great if it followed a definate pattern and we knew exactly what to expect! x

 

[JJ Mum]

Thanks Katie, ermmm no vaginal births! and 3 kids, but hoping for a little labour before they section me this last time, so you never know.. When your bookeld for a section, no one checks if your engaged or tells you much, so I feel like I miss out, that's one of the reasons PF is soo good, as you guys fill in all the gaps!

 

[Momma`Kat]

I can find mine.. But cant quite get the angle right to reach it and feel properly.. just reach the edge of it Lol , damn bump gets in the way, i used to be able to feel it no problem!

|Going to try again today though before my bath, hopefully contractions all day have done -something- even if they have stopped now lol

 

[KatieB]

Ah that's a shame. Surely there is no harm in them telling you how far engaged you are at antenatal checks regardless of the mode of delivery for your baby! Those who end up having emergency sections must know! It only takes a few mins. I must be the most inquisitive mummy to be ever, I always ask my mws about checking this and feeling that, luckily they are so nice and take the time to explain everything. Or just humour me! I'm attempting vbac this time round and just feel the need to be extremely prepared. Hopefully you'll get to do the labour thing a little. In the meantime play at being your own (trainee!) midwife! Xx

 

[indigo]

Great instructions, I'm going to have to go and have a try now!

 

[KatieB]

Mommakat, you can use your forefinger to walk your cervix forwards, if you gently push at the front it'll tilt your cervix and you can get a better feel. I get the feeling I've used far too much of my antenatal appointments questioning my poor midwife. She must dread me and my "how do I check this" questions! X

 

[JJ Mum]

Katie, your appointments must be 1 hour long chats! , but she probably enjoys being stretched more and that your interested.

Well I only had 10, 17 ,28 and 34 week midwife checks, and that's me done now, no more till preop bloods and section day, so I will never see a midwfie again to check engaged bit, but I could ask on the day perhaps just out of interest for me.

No one has even asked about a birth plan or run through my 34-36 week questions in my notes , so perhaps they assume I knowit all! yeah right ha