Can You Forgive and Forget?

[kazlin]

Are you able to do this? With me I am if I have known the person a long time, or if I really like them. I am afraid though that if I don't know a person too well I can forgive, but I can't forget and however much I try I cannot seem to like the person after. Am I alone in this?

I voted number two as it does really depend on the person and situation

 

[Becky]

I chose Forgive but not forget.

In some circumstances I can do both but more often I find it hard to forget what has happened even if I manage to to it to one side so it doesn't interfere in day-to-day matters it usually fundamentally changes how I feel about that person or changes how open I am to them emotionally.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

My mother beat me up when i was a kid, she was beat up so tbhought hey why not do it too my eldest daughter too? there was no excuses for why she did it, she only targeted me.
Then put me in care and when i came out of care she was the oh so caring mother again and then meesed me around and interfered in my marriage. Funnily i havent spoke to her in over 2.5 years. She has messed bits of me up. I hate the fact that when i smile i look like her!

I hope she dies writhing in agony.

Dont tell me i dont mean it becuase i do!

SO I DO NOT FORGIVE OR FORGET

 

[Manda&Thomas]

im really bad for holding a grudge
i never ever forget anything some-one has done to hurt me and 99% of the time i wont forgive either
xx

 

[Emma58]

I voted number 2 as well. It would depend on what I was forgiving though, there are some things I know i would not be able to forgive.

It would also depend on how well i knew the person i would probably be more forgiving to someone I had known for a long time.

 

[LisaJ1986]

Like the situation with my OH, i've forgiven him. Occasionally it plays on my mind but it soon goes again. But other people i have to avoid and move on with stuff. They're just not worth the bother.

 

[zebrastripes]

I can forgive most things, however I don't always forget because I won't be taken for a fool

 

[Mrs_Jay]

i put the 2nd one too, though there are some things that i just wont forgive

 

[Krystal]

I can forgive most things, however I don't always forget because I won't be taken for a fool

ditto.. I don't think if someone does something so bad it needs your forgiveness you should ever forget completely. That doesn't mean you can't move on from it though

 

[Jade&Evie]

I forgive and put to the back of my mind but you know what they say.. Elephants Never Forget

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

I cant forgive the bullys that hurt me so badly but im working on getting past it and moving on.

but if someone hurt me but didnt mean to then id forgive them if they were genuinely sorry

 

[lea m]

I said number 2 as it really depends on the person and the situation! Sometimes I can hold grudges for years! Other times I can forgive and mostly forget! I dont think anyone ever forgets something that needed forgiving if that makes sense lol!

 

[dannii87]

I chose Forgive but not forget.

In some circumstances I can do both but more often I find it hard to forget what has happened even if I manage to to it to one side so it doesn't interfere in day-to-day matters it usually fundamentally changes how I feel about that person or changes how open I am to them emotionally.

Me too x

 

[SarahH]

I can forgive, but dont often forget unless it is something really silly.

I dont know why, I just have been sh*t on so many times that I know try to remember everything so I can see the signs again

 

[Cookie304]

I voted forgive but not forget. I don't easily forgive but there's something in my brain that never lets me forget!

 

[Snuggle]

I mostly forgive but dont forget but there are some things that have happened in my past where I will never in a million years forgive the people nor will I forget

 

[lfc_sarah]

I can forgive and forget little things

But something big i wouldnt do either..

 

[Squiglet]

I think if someone can admit they were wrong then that takes an very strong and honest person... I will forgive, but I won't forget...I forgave my ex's, but I'll never forget and they both did some nasty things to me and my daughter...

But I forgive for my own personal rest... not theirs, so I can leave them behind and move on. While I might be able to forgive someone for saying or doing something nasty towards me or my family, if they admit it... I won't forget and they will never be liked or trusted ever again. But then most people can't admit they were wrong even if you have undeniable proof they were so meh, I won't forgive em and I'll make sure everyone else knows why

 

[evemarie8]

I always forgive and forget but its more to do with my memory being totally up the spout than me actually being a nice person!

 

[Penstraze]

It depends on the person and situation I think I forgive and forget in the sense of not keep bringing it up most the time, obviously your not going to be able to erase your memory and its natural that something thats happened in the past will effect how you react to a similar situation.
I have had quite a few situations with my Mum where she has been very nasty largely due to her depression but it still hurt and I don't seem able to totally forgive and forget it clouds how I feel about her and what I expect from her I don't have a go at her about it, be funny about it or bring it up and in my heart I know she didn't mean it but its still always there and probably always will be! On the other hand my MIL was extreamly nasty and angry to me when DH and I split up involving another man a couple of years ago it wasn't nice at the time but awhile later when we got back together she appologised to me for it which I didn't feel was necessary I hurt her son, yes theres two sides to every story but her son is hurting shes going to be angry its done and past I appreciate her appology it ment alot but I didn't need it its totally forgiven and forgotten as far as im concerned it has no baring on our relationship now!