Can we tell family after 1st scan?

[Ani]

Good morning girls!

I was just over in TTC and I think I counted FOUR new BFPs; Chrissy, Solo, Tracey and Elle's Mummy... Fantastic news.

Anyway, I have a few questions:

1. When should my OH and I tell our families i.e. his parents, my mum, his bro and my sis? Is it acceptable to tell after our first doctor's appointment i.e. @ 6 weeks?

2. What should I expect @ my first doctor's appointment. They said they would do a scan, but would they really see anything? I will only be in my 6th week. What else do they do? I am so nervous about needles...

OK, thats all for now. Hope everyone had a romantic Valentine's Day and that your OHs treated you all like queens.

Ani xx

 

[NickyB]

You can choose to tell people as soon as you like. We told our parents very early on, if anything went wrong, we'd want them to know anyway.

My very first doctors appointment sounds nothing like yours, I went to visit him, he told me what I should do, shouldn't eat and so on. Then the midwife at 9 weeks, she tried feeling my tummy and listening to a doppler, but it was too early for both apparently. She took my bloods and we filled in my forms. She's sent off for my first scan dates. In between this I paid for a private scan for reassurance.

You can see something at 6 weeks, it's very small though and not quite baby shaped, but it does help to see something there and sometimes you can see the heartbeat too.

HTH

 

[Chrissy1]

Hi ani

We'll be going through this together....hope you have a good 8 months.

We've already told our parents!! We couldn't contain the excitement.

We've sworn them to secrecy though and we're not telling the rest of the family for another week or two at least. We won't be announing it at work until the 12 week scan I don't think.

My doc has said to call them in a couple of weeks and they'll sort out a midwife and chat to me about going for scans etc

 

[millylillyrose]

tell your family when ever you feel ready and happy to. we just told our families yesterday and im 13weeks now, but i wanted to tell them with the 12/13weeks scan photo.

I had a dating scan at the begining and was 6 weeks, we saw the sack, the yolk sack, a little bean sized baby which mesured 5.5mm and a heartbeat. so it might be worth having it, Always a pleasure to see your little babe
good luck, SO SO exciting!

 

[Ani]

Hi ani

We'll be going through this together....hope you have a good 8 months.

We've already told our parents!! We couldn't contain the excitement.

Chrissy, I know! I think there are about 5 of us that will be around the same time, definitely October babies anyway...

OK, so you told your parents... my mum arrives here on hols on Monday for 2 weeks, I dont think I have any choice but to tell her as she will be living in my house, and I wont be drinking or smoking!!

Wishing you a wonderful 8 months also... so nice to have others to share everything with, that actually KNOW what you are experiencing.

 

[kalia]

I told some of my friends that I thought I was pregnant at 3 and a half weeks because my breasts were sore and I was really tired all that week. At 4 weeks exactly , when I could actually test, I told some other friends that I was pregnant. At four and a half weeks I told my parents.

At the end of the day, if I had had a miscaraige I would have told those people so there didn't seem to be any point in not tellig them that I was pregnant.

I told my boss at 10 weeks and asked if she could announce when I was 11 weeks. OH's best friend was getting married when I was exactly 12 weeks and it would have been very bad taste to announce on someone elses special day, especially as OH was best man, so we decided 11 weeks suited us even though that was before the scan.

I have had an awful pregnancy so I was in no doubt whatsoever that I was pregnant and I had no qualms about telling people. Hopefully you feel better than I did and that may be less reasurring but at least you can continue to have a real life! The 12 week scan was not very exciting for me because of my certainty - yes, there was an alien blob but I knew that! I liked when he kicked his arms and legs but the wow factor that was there for everyone else was missing for me.

OH's sister didn't tell her family until 17 weeks and she only told then because it was starting to show.

Announce when you want to and to whoever you want to. There are no rules, just other people's habits.

As to your first doctor's appointment, I have no idea as I didn't get a scan until 6 weeks. The doctor will tell you to take folic acid and eat properly. You may get thousands of leaflets you may not - I got them at my 8 week midwife appointment. They covered everything from who to call if you are a victim of domestic abuse to what newborn hearing tests are about. At my first midwife appointment I was weighed, my height measured and she told me lots of things that I forgot. I recommend taking paper and pen with you. Also, write down any questions you have in advance so you remember to ask them.

Don't be nervous about needles Just don't look at what they are doing. They don't hurt. Especially don't look when they take blood. The only needles I have had so far were to see if I was ameamic because of how I was feeling at around 16 weeks, blood tests for many things like blood group etc. at 18 weeks (it should have been 16 weeks but I booked late) and more blood tests at 28 weeks. I have no idea what they were for though I'm sure the midwife told me.

Oh, I forgot to say
Congratulations!

 

[Sherlock]

Congratulations

I think you tell when you are comfortable telling. Its personal choice. Some tell everyone as soon as they find out, others like to wait till the first 12 weeks or so have passed.

We told close family quite early on, about 6 weeks. A couple of friends about 10 weeks and the rest after our 12 week scan.

A good friend of mine gave me a good sort of yardstick to go by and it made sense to me. She said in those early weeks only tell the people you felt you would be able to tell if something then went wrong. I considered who I would be able to tell, would want to have to tell if I had a miscarriage and it was only a handful of people. So we waited till the 12 weeks were up before we told other people.

TBH I would not have wanted to tell work or casual friends if something went wrong, so it helped me decide who to tell and not tell.

With regard to a scan at 6 weeks, its highly unlikely that will happen. Scans that early tend to be for women at high risk of MC and with previous pregnancy problems. Often they are internal at that stage. They usually book you in for a 12 week scan when you get booked in by your MW (or it may be your Doc in this case) but as a rule, GP's don't get involved in the whole pregnancy thing, thats the MW's job. My GP left it all to her other than a referral to the EPU.

Usually when seeing your GP its to confirm your PG and then you book to see the MW for your booking in appointment where they fill out the paperwork, take BP, weigh etc. Many places tend to not do booking in till 8 weeks plus. Some MW's will contact you for appointments, but if not, you arrange your own with them/GP's surgery etc.

Every area is different so if in doubt, as your GP what the process is for your local Doctors surgery. They may have a MW attending it, you may have to go to the local hospital for your MW appointments. Hard to know.

 

[Ani]

Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it.

Regarding the doctors, and the scans and the midwives etc. I think my situation is different as I live in Spain, not UK. As soon as we decided to start TTC, I went on private health care due to the horrendous public system in Spain. So I have chosen a doctor, to whom I went for a smear a few years ago, and he said he will look after me for the entire duration. There was no mention of a midwife, and he said that he would give me a scan to see if the sac had attached properly (or something like that) but that there probably wouldnt be any heartbeat yet. God, this is all so confusing... anyway, I will know more next week!!

Regarding who to tell, I think a good way of looking at it is who you would tell if something went wrong. Good idea girls, thanks. xx

 

[Ani]

I have had an awful pregnancy so I was in no doubt whatsoever that I was pregnant and I had no qualms about telling people. Hopefully you feel better than I did and that may be less reasurring but at least you can continue to have a real life! The 12 week scan was not very exciting for me because of my certainty - yes, there was an alien blob but I knew that! I liked when he kicked his arms and legs but the wow factor that was there for everyone else was missing for me.

Kalia, sorry to hear your pregnancy has been rough Not too long to go now...

 

[dannii87]

Ah fantastic with the new arrivals Although, Solo was naughty and couldn't wait until today lol!

Bless...

I'm so excited for everyone!
xx

 

[abcd1234]

telling people is just down to personal choice, my parents only found out cos i live with them and pregnant brain left the stick in the bin so thay found it, told OH immediately obviously, his parents didnt no unitl around 10weeks and my mate knew as soon as i did cos she was with me testing with me, hers came out BFP too but she had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks
Everyone in work started to guess as me and OH work together and he had a lot of accepting to do of this baby so they knew soemhting was up, and i was extremely boated in the first few weeks so i looked pregnant even though it was all bloating,
Having said that i still havnt "told" people im not very close to and i'm pretty sure OH grandparents dont now yet, they only live around the corner so lets hope they dont bump in to me as it's pretty obvious now lol

 

[Ani]

My cousin, who is Spanish, told EVERYONE @ 7 weeks. Seemingly this is the norm in Spain.

Not for me though...

 

[nickilubs]

I'm telling my family after the 12 week scan. Just so I can hand them the pic and then run away whilst they get over it hahahaha

 

[dannii87]

I told everyone straight away because if anything had of happened, the people I told would have been a great support for me and would have been through it all with me

It's all personal preference though, I think it's up to you and your OH when you decide to tell people. Glad we all know though!!!

xx

 

[Solo]

Ah fantastic with the new arrivals Although, Solo was naughty and couldn't wait until today lol!

Bless...

I'm so excited for everyone!
xx

 

[dannii87]

Yes you Solo! Tut tut!

No, in all honesty it's bloody fantastic that we're getting all you girls coming over to stay

Hope you all settle in well xx

 

[Bagpuss17]

Echo what the others have said, it's a personal choice as to you when you tell people your good news.

For me, if things went wrong I'd want time to deal with it myself before telling/facing others so we haven't told family yet and only my 2 closest friends.

There's no right or wrong, just what's right for you