Can someone show me the light at the end of the tunnel...

[julianne]

LO is 3 weeks old and have been lucky enough to BF (quite a revelation as was unable to BF my first born). The first couple of weeks I was really enjoying it..... now i am ashamed to say, I am not probably for a number of reasons. Any advice or stories of you having been in similar experiences would be most welcome.

Comfort sucking. I don't like how it feels, like when he just flicks his tongue over the nipple repeatedly - hopefully that doesn't sound too weird? I just want to latch him off. I know that he needs to be at the great as much as possible over he next few weeks to get the supply up but this sensation really does give me the boke (i confess I don't even like DH doing it in the throws of passion). Have started to uses dummy for the times when his does this a lot - otherwise he would never be off me!

Also his latch seems to be getting worse. He used to feed in the early days for good 20-30 mins at a time. He seems to go on and off a lot now (every few minutes!). He gets sloppy, loses his good latch then I have to take him off and put him on again (also falling asleep a lot). Because of this I am absolutely dreading feeding him out in public. I have little confidence in doing this. I cannot seem to do it without wapping the whole boob about the place at home (even with the obligatory vest top underneath) and the times when I have tried to do it a little more discreetly when we have had visitors has ended up not being very discreet at all. Tried using a scarf once and got into a bit of a tangle. We have been out and about but have felt totally relieved each time that he hasn't woken up hungry until we got home. Once he is on the breast, I daren't move (i.e. relax my shoulders and relax back into chair or let go of breast) because it usually ends up with him moving, causing sore nipples or coming off completely.

I'm finding the constant feeding hard. Do any of you know how long it will take to get a good gap between feeds and for them to take a proper feed, rather than on for a few mins, falling asleep, putting back on, falling asleep of suckling for comfort for an eternity (rinse repeat)? He manages at least one 3-4 hour stint overnight where he sleeps (which is heaven) but other than that it fells like it is constant.

And finally, any tips on feeding the baby while the toddler is running a muck about the place? The older one (2years old) is into drawers, in and out of the kitchen, pulling at the tv... anything he can get his hands on. I have a bag of 'new' and 'special' toys/ activities for him for when I am feeding the baby but it doesn't really hold his interest. Again, the constant feeding is hard in this situation also.

Thanks for any replies in advance. Thanks for reading.

x

 

[Sprk]

Hi there. I know exactly how you feel. The comfort sucking is driving me bonkers during the day! The cluster feeds really are no fun either. I hate to say it, but I'm not enjoying fb either. One of my guilty secrets is taking lo for a drive to get her to sleep in the day. A good nap (and that's the best way for me to guarantee one) = a break for me. I asked the same thing as you did and so many people have different answers. Some people say it gets better at 6 weeks, 9, or even 12 weeks! I'm doing my best to ride it out but finding it hard. I'm going to contact our local bf network people to try and get some support. My hat off to you for having to take car of a toddler at the same time! The only suggestion I can make would be to put on a video (sorry, best I can think of). I have to care for dh ( harmonic pain condition), but he understands me telling him he's got to wait until Emily is done feeding. You've been doing great, do your best to hang in there

 

[saraian26]

I found the first 12 weeks just a nightmare, sore boobs every time I fed. He would cuss more at the right breathes the other, comfort suck. Only time I got relief was bedtimes as we co slept. And he slept all night. X it does get easier as they get older promise!!

 

[Maud]

Firstly, well done for breastfeeding up to now. Nobody prepares you for how hard it is so you've done really well!

I wasn't sure whether to share my breastfeeding story as it could be quite off-putting, but it has a happy ending so hopefully it will be encouraging.

My daughter had a terrible latch. She was badly tongue tied and just wasn't a natural when it came to breastfeeding. In the first days before her tie was snipped she did serious damage to my nipples that meant her latch was excruciatingly painful and I couldnt even take a shower without pain. It took 3 months for the damage to finally heal! As if that wasn't enough, she just didn't get how to latch and getting her on was a battle every time with her screaming and flailing around for up to an hour before finally latching on. Feeding her was stressful and painful and not only did I not enjoy it, for some time I was actually afraid of it. I cried so so much that this totally natural thing seemed so stupidly difficult. Even as it became less painful and her latch got quicker it still felt like this never ending chore as she would feed then sleep on me then feed some more and it was so hard to believe that it would ever get better.

But it does! For us it took 4 months to get past the difficult bit. It is a long time, but in the grand scheme of things it is only a short period in your baby's life and if you can get through it (and it might not take you so long) it really is worth it. Breastfeeding is the easiest and most convenient way to feed your baby. You don't have to worry about taking milk out with you, sterilising, warming/cooling bottles or working out how much they need as your body just does it all all by itself (it still amazes me!).

She's nearly 7 months old now and I have no desire to stop breastfeeding and I am so glad I persevered.

 

[harspray]

Hi I could have written your post! Sounds exactly like what I'm going through. Baby is 9 weeks old, she now feeds 2-3hrly day and night so I'm knackered but keep going in the hope that it'll get easier as everyone keeps saying!

I too get back cramps and sore arms from the breast feeding position.

Good luck!

 

[Tootsmaloy]

Breast feeding really is a bit of a journey with many ups and downs and although I can't offer much advice any different to the others, other than these things take time, I can say that you do need to relax and be comfy. If you end up tense and with aching muscles thats not good for you especially when you then have to carry your baby round all day.

Before your little one latches on, make sure you're comfy, seriously comfy. Either on the bed laying down Or on a sofa make sure you have cushions for your back and for under your arm for support so that you can relax your shoulder and relax your arms. It really does make a huge difference.. If your little one is at the breast for long periods of time, make sure you have water, a magazine, your phone or whatever you need BEFORE you get comfy to feed. It makes the experience a lot better for you too and you don't just feel like a milk bar open 24 hours.

I bought a rocking chair for feeding, but found it so uncomfy that we had all our feeds on the sofa and I always had everything to hand. Foot so comfy sometimes that I nearly dropped off sitting up!