Can anyone help please?

[Katarina]

I'm feeling so desperate
My little lady is 16 months old now but since she was 8 months, she hasn't really let me hold her.
I thought it was a phase, everyone says babies change their favourite parent all the time but it's not like that, for the past 8 months she'll cry if I give her a hug, if she hurts herself she'll cry if I try to comfort her, she only wants her dad, when we pick her up from the childminders, she goes straight to her dad and won't even look at me.
I try so hard to make her happy but I feel like it's not good enough, even other people have said that she hates me but I've never done anything to her
Please help me, I want to have a good relationship with her but she can't stand to be around me

 

[lisa&alex]

have you spoken to your health visitor? they see so many different children every day im sure they could give you some advise i cant offer any more advise but im sure she doesnt hate you

 

[Redshoes]

I agree with what lisa&alex says above, ask your HV and she certainly won't hate you, she sounds very independant and as Mummy's we take everything personally, so I can only imagine how hard it must be with you feeling this way about her actions Isaac has only just started being one for cuddles, he was always too busy being interested in everything around him, but I do think sometimes that LO's give Mummy's the hardest time because they know they can, as they will always be there, and love them no matter I see this when I pick Isaac up from his Grandma's, he's so so good for her all day, then when I arrive he starts to play up, trying to touch things he shouldn't and getting a bit whiney, I think its partly his way of saying, 'You left me.. how dare you' That's my understanding of what I see with Isaac anyway, I just wanted to pass on some hugs and say I really think time will change her and she loves you unconditionally

 

[Sage]

awww i can imagine my son possibly being like that. he hates being cuddled and will scream if i try and cuddle him close. and hes soooo all for daddy.

Id def see ya hv. maybe its to do with routine? are you the one that disciplines the most? praps she sees dad as the push over or something like that...ive heard that's quiet a common cause.

 

[Sherlock]

Hmm what sage says is possible.

Are you the one to discipline her and your OH is more lenient and more likely to let her get her own way? That may be something to do with it.

Have a look at the situations where she goes to your OH first. Also are you and she alike in personality or totally different? Both can make for distance from one side or the other, even subconciously.

How does she behave to other women she knows well?

Maybe ask your OH to help by having him encourage her to greet you and have a family group hug rather than just one with him (at childminders). Also what age did she start going to the childminder? Around the time she stopped showing affection to you? Was there anything else around this time that happened? Have a think back on it all and see if there could be anything there might have caused her to clam up a bit.

I'd chat to your HV and see if she has any suggestions also.