Bullying..

[Krystal]

Obviously bullying happens in schools and I don't think some kids who do the bullying realise what type of affect they can have on those kids lives longterm.

What are you going to be doing in future to make sure your kids don't bully or how do you help your child if they are being bullied? It's definately a worry I have for when Jack starts school

Also what do you think needs doing in school to prevent bullying? And what about the parents, surely they need to start taking responsibility for their childrens actions?

 

[Lou]

Isaac will be brought up to treat people how he would like to be treated. If he bullies he will be punished and if he is bullied he will be supported. What more can you do? I think the problem lies with the parents and the childs homelife. Its a social and behavioural problem that has so many factors, we all just have to do our bit in everyday life I suppose, be a good person, work hard, pay our own way, be kind, have manners, respect others, all things that should be taught at home and then echoed at school.

 

[Happybunny]

It is a hard one.
I would be mortified if my child was a bully, but I really don't think they will be. I think upbringing has a lot to do with it. If you treat your children with respect and they see from your example, how to interact with people, they will develop empathy for others.
In my experience, bullies are often children from very unsettled homes where aggression or unkind words are the norm (even in middle class homes). Often bullies are victims themselves, with parents telling them they're useless, worthless or crap. I remember telling a parent once about their child bullying someone. Their response was, to the child, "You are disgusting; I'm going to give you such a good hiding." Not that I think we should be all cuddly to bullies, but it emphasizes my point that they are often a product of ineffectual parenting.
I was bullied at primary school for being overweight. It was very hard to deal with and has left me with confidence issues. I would hate for my child to go through that. Even as a teacher, I don't know how I would go about solving it though. I am sure I would be a nightmare parent and the school would hate me for being constantly on their case. But should I teach my child resilience and to 'stand up for themselves'? I don't know. My parents always advocated that, but I was too scared.

 

[leckershell]

At school I was bullied for being poor, and at home I was bullied by my dad for somehow not being good enough. To my knowledge I wasn't a bully myself.

I would hate for Ryan to be a bully, or be bullied. We've had a little discussion about it before and said that we would openly give him access to information about Childline and things like that so that even if he didn't feel comfortable confiding in us, he at least confided in somebody.

I think if you bring a child up in a loving, caring home, where there are rules and punishments set up (but not too extreme of course), the child will grow up with respect for others. Ryan will also be taught the meaning and value of money - my mum always taught me value for money and bargains without being "cheap", and it's shown me good stead. I take more consideration when buying things that aren't necessary.. and I don't want Ryan to be considered spoilt if in fact he was to be an only child.

 

[Lou]

I was badly bullied at school because of my teeth. I had tetracycline as a baby and my teeth were very discoloured up until the age of 13 when I had them put right. I was bullied something rotten, you can imagine. It has effected me alot, I'm confident on here because you can't see me but even though my teeth appear normal now the years of covering my mouth and not wanting to smile have taken their toll on me in person. Maybe that's why I'm a bit OTT on here sometimes? I'm over compensating? Dr Lou

anyway, I don't remember any teachers helping me, they could have used my problem to teach the kids that its whats on the inside that counts and it wasn't my fault but I suppose looking back they didn't want to draw attention to me even more I dunno?

 

[mary70]

sorry if this sounds harsh girls but in my experience from working in school 9 years bullies have parents that dont give a hoot, i have never met any parents yet that that looked after their kids properlyand showed an interest then the kids bullied, i am not saying that the kids didnt have one off incidents but the contiual bullies where always from dead beat parents and u usually found that they never attended anything such as sports days,plays and parents evenings. So what i am saying is that really dont worry about it.

 

[lfc_sarah]

I dont think bullying will ever be stopped in school

Physical bullying can easily be noticed.
But verbal can be hidden really well

Im lucky and have never been bullied.
But i can imagine how hard it is for those who have

I agree with Lou with her post
When my little boy is older he wil be punished if hes a bully ect...

 

[leckershell]

during one of my lessons (primary school, so i must have been 8 or 9), we were all doing quiet work and the teacher came up to me and said really loud ewwww michelle, do you smoke, you smell awfully of smoke...

yes i did have baths before you ask, but my dad smoked.

i hated her for that and i went out crying (then got told off for being disruptive for walking out of the middle of class). it's not as if i liked the fact that i smelled like smoke. she could have asked me in private afterwards or something.

 

[Happybunny]

during one of my lessons (primary school, so i must have been 8 or 9), we were all doing quiet work and the teacher came up to me and said really loud ewwww michelle, do you smoke, you smell awfully of smoke...

yes i did have baths before you ask, but my dad smoked.

i hated her for that and i went out crying (then got told off for being disruptive for walking out of the middle of class). it's not as if i liked the fact that i smelled like smoke. she could have asked me in private afterwards or something.

What a bitch! I wonder why some people go into the teaching profession at all.

 

[Lou]

Actually after reading shells post it reminded me that we often overlook the teachers don't we, and they can be just as nasty and bully the children as much as the kids bully eachother. My mum is a dinner lady at Wimbledon College and their Headmaster shouts in the childrens faces and makes them cry. Me and my mum were talking about it the other day and I said if any teacher ever shouts in my Isaac's face I'll be up there having a quiet word They are human afterall, teachers or not I won't stand for any treatment or punishment given to Isaac that I wouldn't find acceptable at home. The head teacher has recently suspended some boys for running to class because another class had made them late. What an arsehole

 

[Lou]

sorry if this sounds harsh girls but in my experience from working in school 9 years bullies have parents that dont give a hoot, i have never met any parents yet that that looked after their kids properlyand showed an interest then the kids bullied, i am not saying that the kids didnt have one off incidents but the contiual bullies where always from dead beat parents and u usually found that they never attended anything such as sports days,plays and parents evenings. So what i am saying is that really dont worry about it.

Thats sad but good to know. The danger is we can't chose our kids friends and they can end up friends with a bully and no matter how you bring them up pier pressure can take over

I mean people who influence them, not the pier at the seaside, I don't know how to spell it

 

[fran_23]

i'm terrified of Hayden going to school round here- in fact
i might just move country before he goes..hes going to come home
saying "wheres ma dinner ya get me blud" thats how all the kids round
here talk...its scary! plus the bullying thing!
i don't want to transfer my fear onto him or anything but it scares me
bigtime!

 

[Squiglet]

Tia knows mummy breaks bones if I catch her bullying 8) and she can hit bullies back her so is actively encouraged to either find a teacher or fight back.... at the end of the day most bullies are cowards

 

[lfc_sarah]

sorry if this sounds harsh girls but in my experience from working in school 9 years bullies have parents that dont give a hoot, i have never met any parents yet that that looked after their kids properlyand showed an interest then the kids bullied, i am not saying that the kids didnt have one off incidents but the contiual bullies where always from dead beat parents and u usually found that they never attended anything such as sports days,plays and parents evenings. So what i am saying is that really dont worry about it.

Thats sad but good to know. The danger is we can't chose our kids friends and they can end up friends with a bully and no matter how you bring them up pier pressure can take over

I mean people who influence them, not the pier at the seaside, I don't know how to spell it

Peer pressure *

 

[emma28]

When I was little we lived in a village split into 2 halves, one at the top of the hill, and one at the bottom..we lived in a detatched house in the middle, and I was bullied because I thought I was too good to live in either part..had to have my own Like at 6yr old I could decide or understand that.

It turned out after a few years that the parents of this child had been tying him in the garden while they went out to work and he got taken away by social services. I guess he mainly picked on me because I had a home life he envied....

 

[Lou]

i'm terrified of Hayden going to school round here- in fact
i might just move country before he goes..hes going to come home
saying "wheres ma dinner ya get me blud" thats how all the kids round
here talk...its scary! plus the bullying thing!
i don't want to transfer my fear onto him or anything but it scares me
bigtime!

Don't be scared matey The majority of kids are good, look at all the mums on here, we are the 'norm'. Decent, nice people! I do know what you mean though, we've talked about moving before Isaac is school age but we're going to play it by ear and see nearer the time. The friends he does have already at playgroup are lovely but they will be going to faith schools and we aren't religious But then saying that my mums college is catholic and the kids there are just as bad as anywhere else

 

[fran_23]

i'm terrified of Hayden going to school round here- in fact
i might just move country before he goes..hes going to come home
saying "wheres ma dinner ya get me blud" thats how all the kids round
here talk...its scary! plus the bullying thing!
i don't want to transfer my fear onto him or anything but it scares me
bigtime!

Don't be scared matey The majority of kids are good, look at all the mums on here, we are the 'norm'. Decent, nice people! I do know what you mean though, we've talked about moving before Isaac is school age but we're going to play it by ear and see nearer the time. The friends he does have already at playgroup are lovely but they will be going to faith schools and we aren't religious But then saying that my mums college is catholic and the kids there are just as bad as anywhere else

thank you
yeah MIL keeps on at me "are you going to send him to catholic school-theres a lovely one down the road"
just got her off my back about christening him- me and OH are sooo
deeply unreligious!! lol
you are right the kids there would be just as bad! i know i shouldn't
be scared i bet he'll love it but kids can be so mean these days!

 

[Funkylady]

I was bullied as a teenager by girls and boys. It was awful, I was the tall gawpy one of my group with short hair and awful awful acne.

It ruined my self confidence and to this day I very rarely walk down the street alone without being totally paranoid about everyone staring at me. Its amazing how bullying can still affect a persons life for years after the actual event.

Bullies should be severly punished. Not just lectured or told off.

xx

 

[sazzylou]

Beth was being bullied not long ago. She's in year 1 at school, and its mixed in with year 2 kids for some reason. A year 2 boy just decided he didnt like her and at timwes when he knew you had to sit quietly and listen he'd start to pinch and hit her in the back and stuff. Now beths quite shy and when i asked her why she didnt tell she'd say "we're not allowed to talk in assembley" He was a sneaky little sod. This went on for about 2 weeks before she finally told me and i saw the head straight away who was fantastic. It started up again and he got his mate to do it too, again i went in and had a word, and as far as i know, its totally stopped.

I wont stand for anyone hurting my child. Shes had verbal stuff off a couple of kids, but that hasnt been that serious, and she has to learn to stick up for herself (although i would go in if it started to upset her, but she seems ok with it...quite enjoys telling people off i think ) but no way will i have someone physically bullying her. And i totally wasnt expecting it at such a young age It makes me worried for when she goes to 'big' school, cos thats where i got bullied Beth would NEVER bully another child, it makes me so angry when i see how some of the kids behave, and sometimes its right infront of their parents

 

[Lou]

I think it should be 3 strikes you're out if kids get caught bullying