Brothers girlfiriends pregnancy

[melster]

This situation doesnt affect me directly but my brother but I'd still appreciate any comments please!

About 6 months ago his partner had a one night stand with a work collegue while i think on anti-biotics (ie reduced pill effectiveness) and a couple of weeks later confessed. They got back together after another week and all seemed OK again. Then she discovered she was pregnant!

My brother assumes its his in part because she had a brief period on time between this fling and getting back together and the conception date was when they got back together, but she announced to all the baby was due in april even though the hospital scans suggest May. ummm. And also she is not spending so much time with my brotheras usual.

Ive heard a rumour she is considering moving in with the one night stand person but I havent mentioned it yet. It appears she might have told the 'other man' the baby is his except the the dates dont appear to coiniside. My brother has back calculated the conception date too but she makes excuses about her cycle being 34 days long so it doesnt count. odd.

My poor brother is tearing his hair out over her distant/moody/depressive behavior and Im not sure if the rumour would help especially as the fetus its medically assessed to be due later in May so probably his anyway.

Rumour or other wise any one had this happen to them or what would you do or what should he do mainly as the due date is arriving soon?

Is this normal behaviour for pregnant women:-surely not?

 

[krystal&jack]

aww you poor bro

I have no idea what to say except regardless of due dates etc you brother should definately get a paternity test done as soon as baby is born so he can be sure x

 

[melster]

aww you poor bro

I have no idea what to say except regardless of due dates etc you brother should definately get a paternity test done as soon as baby is born so he can be sure x

Funny thing is he's pretty certain she had a period after the fling and whats more the scan do match this being the start of the pregnancy too. Curiously she confessed to him around this period too...so maybe she forgot about itand has miscounted or worse still WANTS the other man to be the dad so is forgeting on purpose.

No idea really...help!

 

[Sabrina]

I agree with Krystalmair, whilst it's a very difficult and tense time for your brother, there is not much he can do other than get a paternity test after the baby is born.

Obviously the woman is either very mixed up or deliberately trying to deceive the other man/your brother. Either way the men aren't doing very well out of it. Is there any way your brother could talk to the other man about this? I'm sure he (the other man) would like to know for sure whether he's the baby's father or not too.

 

[melster]

I agree with Krystalmair, whilst it's a very difficult and tense time for your brother, there is not much he can do other than get a paternity test after the baby is born.

Obviously the woman is either very mixed up or deliberately trying to deceive the other man/your brother. Either way the men aren't doing very well out of it. Is there any way your brother could talk to the other man about this? I'm sure he (the other man) would like to know for sure whether he's the baby's father or not too.

She's defo mixed up, but only she knows where to find this other man my brother doesnt know him so cant find him. I suspect the other man has been told its his too.

Part of me is so angry at her but another wants so much to help her out of this mess if only for my brothers sake!

 

[krystal&jack]

`Part of me is so angry at her but another wants so much to help her out of this mess if only for my brothers sake!

Your a nicer person than I am. She's obviously messing both men around. Hope you find solution

 

[melster]

`Part of me is so angry at her but another wants so much to help her out of this mess if only for my brothers sake!

Your a nicer person than I am. She's obviously messing both men around. Hope you find solution

I want it all to be OK for his sake mainly as they made such a nice couple really. I think she made a big mistake in her life which he forgave her for, but is making a far worse one now maybe through panic!

 

[krystal&jack]

I can understand you wanting things to be ok for the sake of your brother. Has he sat down and spoke to her about this? told her that he's unsure of way she feels and what she wants? Maybe a chat would help. Or even if you try and speak to her?

 

[tracyM]

She could know very well what she's doing.

When OH and I first got together, he had a 'son' the same age as my Daniel. He'd been paying informal maintenance of £50 a week for almost 5 years when we moved in together and she wanted more (she knew I was earning too). I told her OK as long as it was formal and went through the CSA. We ended up getting DNA tests done and it turns out he wasn't OHs son after all. We've since found out he has 3 other 'dads', all paying maintenance, days out, holidays, Christmas presents.... I guess it's a nice little money earner for her

 

[krystal&jack]

She could know very well what she's doing.

When OH and I first got together, he had a 'son' the same age as my Daniel. He'd been paying informal maintenance of £50 a week for almost 5 years when we moved in together and she wanted more (she knew I was earning too). I told her OK as long as it was formal and went through the CSA. We ended up getting DNA tests done and it turns out he wasn't OHs son after all. We've since found out he has 3 other 'dads', all paying maintenance, days out, holidays, Christmas presents.... I guess it's a nice little money earner for her

Oh my god thats awful

Glad you and your husband found out befoe paying anything more. Did your hubby have emotional ties to the child or was it jus financial?

 

[melster]

I can understand you wanting things to be ok for the sake of your brother. Has he sat down and spoke to her about this? told her that he's unsure of way she feels and what she wants? Maybe a chat would help. Or even if you try and speak to her?

He's tried to talk to her but shes very evasive at times but not others he said. I think he just supsects preganancy hormones rather than a rumour he probably hasn't heard-or maybe has and is ignoring.

I dont have her new mobile number so cant try myself either and dont see her that often without him there anyway.

I'm wondering if shes expecting the baby to arrive this month and that makes it the other mans, but if it comes next month it could be my brothers,but in the mean time shes being as distant and evasive as poss and non-committing to either? a DNA test is no good untilits born anyway!