broodiness!

[Laura1992]

I found out (massive shock) that I was pregnant in January this year and then was devastated to miscarry at 8 and a half weeks. I can't stop thinking about babies ever since! I'm desperate for one and I think about this all the time. The only problem is.. I feel like my boyfriend and I are too young (22 and 25) and we rent a house rather than own (is that ok?) and worry that maybe we don't make enough money to raise a baby (35Kish)..

Does anyone have any advice? I almost feel like I'm looking for permission that it's ok to be broody at 22, I feel like I shouldn't be and none of my friends are anywhere near thinking about having children.

 

[wifeywifey]

I think yiu cant judge on age. You sound like you have a stable home and money coming in. I honestly don't think anyone is ready when they have a baby.

 

[mylullaby]

I'm 30-ish, married and have owned my own home for 8 years. I'm still petrified of having a baby!! I really, REALLY want one, but I don't think you can ever fully prepare for the enormity of becoming a parent. You'll know if it's right for you.

 

[MrsGriff]

You're still young so why not leave it for 6 months and then make a decision then?

You don't say how your boyfriend feels about it all. Is he as keen as you to start trying? He may still be grieving over the miscarriage and not feel ready to try again yet. Men tend to keep things like this bottled up as they don't want to upset their partners.

If you both are sure and you are in a stable position then I wouldn't let your situation stop you. Noone ever feels ready. I'm 40, married, own my own house and expecting my first and still feel absolutely terrified!

 

[Kelly H]

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant (planned) and was started when I was 21, if I had it my way we would have started at 18 hahaha.

We earn a lot less than you (I lost my job due to the business ceasing to exist haha, so not by choice, but husband due to be promoted next year so the increase will be around your income), we privately rent and saving for a deposit which will take years and we are TTC for our second. We more than manage, we are comfortable and my son wants for nothing. We are extremely careful with our money and have been for years but we also spend it, we go to the zoo, cafés and buy the occasional treats and we are really really happy.

If you try and think about reasons why you shouldn't start a family, you will be 50+ by the time you think, oh shit, we forgot to have our child. My sister in law waited and waited until she had bought a house, both been promoted and even decorated the house before TTC as everything had to be perfect, now nearing 40 and regretting it, but they do have a gorgeous son now, but wish they had let go if their 'security'.

If you feel ready for a baby, then do it, once the baby is here you can't help but have a lifestyle change, no matter how much you have 'prepared'

 

[Laura1992]

You're still young so why not leave it for 6 months and then make a decision then?

You don't say how your boyfriend feels about it all. Is he as keen as you to start trying? He may still be grieving over the miscarriage and not feel ready to try again yet. Men tend to keep things like this bottled up as they don't want to upset their partners.

If you both are sure and you are in a stable position then I wouldn't let your situation stop you. Noone ever feels ready. I'm 40, married, own my own house and expecting my first and still feel absolutely terrified!

Could wait 6 months, but I've been broody since I was about 16 if I'm honest so I'd be surprised if 6 months will make a difference! It isn't a very long time.

Boyfriend is broodier than I am, I'm the one being trying to think things through properly. The decision is basically in my hands.

I think you're right, even in 10 years time, I'll be just as terrified about it!

 

[Laura1992]

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant (planned) and was started when I was 21, if I had it my way we would have started at 18 hahaha.

We earn a lot less than you (I lost my job due to the business ceasing to exist haha, so not by choice, but husband due to be promoted next year so the increase will be around your income), we privately rent and saving for a deposit which will take years and we are TTC for our second. We more than manage, we are comfortable and my son wants for nothing. We are extremely careful with our money and have been for years but we also spend it, we go to the zoo, cafés and buy the occasional treats and we are really really happy.

If you try and think about reasons why you shouldn't start a family, you will be 50+ by the time you think, oh shit, we forgot to have our child. My sister in law waited and waited until she had bought a house, both been promoted and even decorated the house before TTC as everything had to be perfect, now nearing 40 and regretting it, but they do have a gorgeous son now, but wish they had let go if their 'security'.

If you feel ready for a baby, then do it, once the baby is here you can't help but have a lifestyle change, no matter how much you have 'prepared'

Thanks for posting, great to hear from someone in a similar position (apart from you already have the baby)! I've only been in my job for 2 months so it's killing me that I need to wait a bit longer, I don't want to be pregnant whilst still on probation.


Good luck with ttc your second!!

 

[Laura1992]

I'm 30-ish, married and have owned my own home for 8 years. I'm still petrified of having a baby!! I really, REALLY want one, but I don't think you can ever fully prepare for the enormity of becoming a parent. You'll know if it's right for you.

I know I definitely want to be a parent but god it's scary! Actually having the baby doesn't scare me, the pregnancy does (being pregnant last time, before I mc, I was a hormonal nightmare), also scared about what others will think of me as I don't want to get married and although I'm 22, I look about 16.

 

[mylullaby]

Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?! If you're financially independent (renting is fine) and you're ready to start a family then no-one else really matters, do they? FWIW, I've had the opposite from friends. I don't think I'm exactly mega-old (31) but friends who've had kids in their early 20s talk to me like I've left it too late. Only effing met DH a couple of years ago - had to move in together/plan a wedding/get married in that time - give me a sodding minute will you?!!?!? There will always be someone, somewhere with an opinion that you can listen to/choose to ignore/pretend you care about/whatever. Everyone's different and you can only do what's right for you and your OH.

 

[Jojo84]

I'm older than you but me and hubby bring in about 18k a year (down to 12k when I return) we rent our house and were getting along nicely. 22 isn't yo young if it's what you bith want