Breastfeeding Dilemma

[prettypenguin]

Hi there, really need everyone's help with this as it's really getting me down.


For as long as I can remember I've always had a problem with my boobs, particularly my nipples in the sense that I can't have them touched by anyone, even myself- to the point where I can't even have proper showers in fear of the water splashing on them.

It doesn't particularly hurt, it just feels uncomfortable and I feel really panicky. It makes me wince more than anything to even think about anyone touching me, let alone have a baby feeding from me. I haven't ever met anybody with the same problem and the only other person in my life that knows about this is my OH, and he does try to understand but I think he thinks it's really silly, although he does try to support me with it.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant now and up until last week I was adamant I was bottle feeding as I literally feel like crying when I think of trying to breastfeed, this is without the pain that I will feel too. My OH was ok with that but he's slightly sad that I won't breastfeed as he and his brothers were breastfed and he thinks it will benefit the baby more. I absolutely agree with him, but then my argument is that I was bottle fed and I am fine.

However last week I felt bad on my OH and baby and feel selfish for not even trying, so went and bought an electric breast pump to see how that goes. I've tried it twice, on the very lowest setting and it took me ages to psych myself up to even put it on, then when I did have it on I literally lasted not even two seconds before taking it off on both attempts.

So now I feel really stupid and frustrated and annoyed that we've wasted money on this breast pump and I can't use it because of this stupid thing I have. I do really want to try, the last time I tried was this morning and I can't bring myself to try again for a bit. I understand that it will take time but by the time he's here I doubt I'll be able to fill a teaspoon never mind a bottle

Does anyone have/know anyone with this problem? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get over my problem? I haven't spoken to my midwife about it, I'm due to see her tomorrow and don't want to sound really pathetic in front of her, plus I think my OH is coming so I'll be even more embarrassed talking about breasts in front of him lol.

Sorry for the super long post and thanks for reading

xxx

 

[TashaWink]

I don't know anyone with this but i definitely think you should mention this to your midwife as she maybe able to help you and offer some advice! By the sounds of it you have a phobia concerning your nipples which isn't weird at all...so maybe its a matter of getting over this fear?

But like i said i don't know anyone who this affects but just thought i would try and suggest something!

Remember if you can't get over this then seriously don't worry yourself too much about having to bottle feed-as long as your LO is getting the nutrients needed thats all that matters!

 

[roxane 1985]

i dont have that problem , i just generally detest the thought of a baby feeding off me to the point it makes me feel physically sick and there is no way in hell im ever going to attempt it. my daughter was bottle fed and she is no different to breast fed babies so me personally dont see why ppl kick up a fuss a bout bottle feeding lol.

 

[ISH]

I was bottle fed and I turned out pretty damn well, if I do say so myself Jk!!! Don't torture yourself, sweetie, just make sure feeding your baby is an enjoyable experience for both of you. If you're stressed and panicky while you're doing it, I'm sure it won't do baby much good

 

[l_maclean]

This is obviously a phobia - so why not research whats available in your area to help people overcome a phobia, what about hypnotherapy or something - ive done it and found it great.

I think its great that you wanna try and overcome this as bf would benefit your baby - but at the end of the day its not worth beating your self up over.

xxx

 

[Sarah13]

It's not worth beating yourself up and stressing yourself over it, def won't do you or baby any good. I agree with the others though it sounds more of a phobia thing that maybe you can get some help with. Also just see how you feel when the baby arrives, don't put any pressure on yourself, it might suddenly feel right to try, it might not. Explain to mw about it though and how you feel and tell your OH you want to tell her before you go so he expects it and can support you, getting it out in the open is the best thing.

 

[prettypenguin]

Thank you guys I feel loads better, I still feel silly but I think I will have to tell the midwife. My OH said that as long as I've tried nobody can say anything to me about not breast feeding. I think I will tell the midwife tomorrow, she is really nice and usually has a student with her too so maybe it'll be beneficial for the student haha. The only bright side of this is that I'm not as worried about labour as I am about breast feeding which is ridiculous but takes my mind off one worry. xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

I bet you will feel loads better once you have told your midwife, problem shared etc!

I would say try to go with the flow or moment - and just try BF in hosp as first feed for baby and you don't know how you might feel after baby arrives, you may be soo in love wrapped up in all the baby birth etc that it may just feel normal at the time and actually help you with this phobia.

If it doesn't work or you hate it, they hey , it doesn't matter , move to bottle feeding, my first 3 were bottle fed and there doing just fine. I just fed my last as I really was desperate to, but all kids equally happy and my last is on the same growth curve as my second with diff feeding methods!

 

[frankie707]

^^^ WSS
They will encourage you in hospital to bf and will be there supporting you through it. I would say dont worry about things you cant control yet. You may find that when you see your baby and he/she goes to feed your feelings change entirely, my advice would be to give it a go and see how you get on. Tell mw's how you feel about it so that they can support you properly and just go with the flow. Good luck with your birth

 

[BevG]

phobias can be overcome, but you have to be determined and work at it, therapy is uaually the best way but if you feel you cant do it at least you tried, you can always sell the breast pump in the classifieds here.

 

[prettypenguin]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your comments i don't feel as bad now. Went to see the midwife today and it was a different one so i was a bit more nervous telling her. We were going through my birth plan and she asked if I wasn't going to bf, then I told her my issues with it and she didn't seem fazed at all,and said that it's fine and not uncommon, and basically what you guys have said about just trying it when he gets here and not to stress. I feel so much better for telling her though, I was sat in the waiting room with my oh and was nearly in tears and feeling sick lol, I get so worked up over it. So I'll still try the breast pump and then if not then I suppose I'll sell it xxx

 

[frankie707]

Glad she had that attitude to it. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.

 

[Rayoflight]

I was exactly the same! Still am. Can't hand express, hate touching them, lean back in the shower so the water doesn't go on them.

But, breastfeeding is a completely different sensation. It's weird. No matter how much I detest having my nipples touched, my maternal instinct to feed and provide takes over and I forget about it.

A friend of mine is the same and she uses breast shields which help her with the nausea she experiences because of the sensation of BFing.

Good luck whatever you decide to do! Xxx