Boyfriends dad

[Marmite]

my boyfriend has not been in touch with his dad for ages now, and im not sure wether to bring up the subject of it or not.

His dad has always had a problem with alcohol I gather, but I don't know alot about it... from what ive heard he's not very nice, but also he might want to know that he's gonan be a grandad.

So, to bring it up, or to leave it. I think the suject upsets my boyfriend a little......

any advice would be greatly appreciated

 

[NIE]

I don't see my grandma even though she only lives 10 miles away. There were problems within the family when I was younger and both my parents families don't get on due to religion.

I invited my grandma to our wedding 2 years ago and was surprised that she came. I only invited her out of a sense of duty and as respect to my dad. It was great to see her again but things were strange.

The only contact I have had with her since our wedding is through Christmas cards. Again out of a sense on duty and respect I contacted her by post to tell her our exciting news, with a copy of our scan photos. 1 week later we received a congratulations card from her.

The only advice I can give you is do what ever you feel is right. Don't push your boyfriend too much as it will be difficult for him. Sometimes you can try and try again, and you still don't seem to get anywhere in building bridges. I don't see any harm in telling him that he is going to be a grandad. Just be supportive to your boyfriend incase a family reunion is out of the question.

Good Luck xxx

 

[Marmite]

Cheers.... I'll try and find a time to chat to him about it, I think if he doesnt want to i'll just leave it at that x

 

[h33]

i asked Dh about his dad when we got married and had kids and tbh he just wasn't bothered

His dad went to the shops to get him some sweets when he was 3 and he hasn't seen him since, we still see the rest of his family and they came to our wedding and we visit them when we go over to Yorkshire so he must know what DH is up to but has never bothered to get in touch even when Coanl was born and spent 7 weeks in scbu we didn't hear nothing so tbh he's not worth it and i don't mention him anymore

It would all depend on their relationship tbh you will know best if you can't think of a good time to bring it up maybe you shouldn't but i'm sure mentioning it won't do any harm at least you will know for future.

Heather

 

[libs]

never ever ever push

My DH's family is different from mine - something that took me a few years to realise. My family is v close - even when we hate each other occasionally My DH's family aren't.

I tried to change that - pushed him to make contact. What I didn't know was his family history and that he really really didn't want any contact with his mother and brother for perfectly good reasons. But they were his reasons. When he finally explained I understood exactly what he meant.

I did the same with his (grown up) children. Only to discover that he wasn't joking about how spoilt and nasty they could be. We had years of hell after making contact again. Now I leave him to his own devices, and I've definatly learnt that lesson

 

[nicki]

If that were me I would broach the subject, asking if he thinks that he should let his Dad know that he's gonna be a Grandad & if he says no then leave it. There's no point in pushing it, if he wants to talk about it then he will (or not if he's like most men!! )

 

[Marmite]

If that were me I would broach the subject, asking if he thinks that he should let his Dad know that he's gonna be a Grandad & if he says no then leave it. There's no point in pushing it, if he wants to talk about it then he will (or not if he's like most men!! )

Yes! Men are awful, he got me to open up, but will refuse to open up himsefl now

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Nicki and the other ladies are bang on - my DH asked me about my father when i was expectinbg first time around and i decided to contct him - big mistake!
Iwish i hadnt of bothered as it werent worth it!