'boyfriend' not babys dad...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by amyknight88, Mar 18, 2006.

  1. amyknight88

    amyknight88 Well-Known Member

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    when troy (careys dad) was being a pain in the arse i could always go to matthew and he was there for me and carey. since me and troy have split up me and matt have got closer hes asked if i wanna be more than mates though.. i know hes great to me and hes soo good with carey, my family love him but i dont know whether its going to confuse carey or not, troy does see him on a saturday.

    would you say its better getting him used to having another man thats not his dad around and still seeing his dad on a saturday or what? i know i cant stop him from seeing troy ive not had much time for my friends since carey was born so having matt around is brilliant for me i dont wanna lose him.

    what do you suggest?
     
  2. weestar21

    weestar21 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun im not sure what to say really as ive never been in that sort of situation before so cant really advise you on anything. Just wanted to wish you luck on whatever you decide and just rememeber think of yourself aswell as carey, whatever will make you both happy :D

    take care and hope everything works out for you

    Jean xx
     
  3. BubbleOne

    BubbleOne Well-Known Member

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    Hi Amy.

    I think if you like Matt and he is good with Carey and willing to treat him as his own then why not? It's stability that Carey needs and he also needs his Mummy to be happy.

    Never stop Troy seeing him though as it is important he knows his real Dad and where he comes from etc.

    There are thousands of children who live with a 'parent' who is not biologically related.

    Any bloke can produce a child but it takes a real man to bring up a child successfully :lol:
     
  4. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't have said it better then bubbleone. Good luck hun xx
     
  5. xSuzx

    xSuzx Well-Known Member

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    Hi Amy

    I was in the same situation as you when I had my first (ethan now 6) I was just 18 when I had him and his dad was less then responsible and by the time my son was 6 weeks old I'd had enough and ended the relationship. Then when Ethan was 12 weeks I met Neil He was lovely but I was unsure that I was ready to get back into a relationship in the end I decided to give it go.

    I only saw Neil on weekends as he was in the RAF he was great with Ethan, Ethan still saw his dad at weekends (although was quite unreliable).

    The thing is children understand and except alot more then what we think and as long as Troy is reliable and keeps to seeing Carey then there shouldn't be any confusion as he'll always know who his dad is.

    In my story everything has worked out well 6 years later me and Neil are now married and expecting our third child ( I say our as Neil considereds Ethan as his own).

    The only problem in my situation is that Ethan's sperm donor dad stop contact when ethan was 2 and hasn't seen him since he was 1, so Ethan knows Neil as his dad so we have to explain the situation, but the only person to blame for that is his "sperm donor" (as I call him).

    But other then that Ethan is a very happy child full of love, with a very happy, loving and stable home.

    So like I said as long as Troy stays involved with him you shouldn't have this problem. If anything Carey will just have one more person to love and care for him.

    Sorry this is so long but it can be pretty hard to explain in short.

    xSuzx
     
  6. tracyM

    tracyM Well-Known Member

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    Daniels dad was a 'sperm donor' as Suz puts it :wink: I've not seen or heard from him since Daniel was 4 months old - he's only ever seen him once. Stuart has been his 'Dad' since he was 2. Most of the time it's not an issue - Dan sees Stuart as his Dad, Stuart sees Dan as his son. People that don't know are genuinely shocked when we say Dan is his step-son.

    Don't let it stop you from having what could turn out to be a very happy, secure, long lasting relationship - Carey won't see it as anything unusual - 2 dads=2 lots of pressies in his eyes :wink: :lol: .
     
  7. amyknight88

    amyknight88 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for everyones advice. Me and Matt are giving it a go see how things work out. :dance:

    Troys not a happy bunny!
     
  8. xSuzx

    xSuzx Well-Known Member

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    Thats the same with me tracy people don't realise that Neil is Ethans step dad, especially as we also have callum (4) and they look so alike.

    we even have people say "don't you look like your dad" it always makes us laugh.

    xSuzx
     

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