Bludgeoned into Breastfeeding???

[Tanya4beauty]

I decided I'd try to bf and was convinced I wouldn't like it and be weirded out by it but actually I loved the closeness it gave me to my baby but unfortunately it's not working out for either of us. I'm expressing and formula feeding as of today and I now have a happy, contented baby who I can enjoy. At least she will still get the benefit of my milk for a while yet. I'm hoping to continue expressing for as long as the boobies will keep producing! I've just expressed 6oz so I've got a pretty good supply there!
The weird thing is that Mia only lost 1oz when she was weighed last week and has a lovely colour. All the health professionals have said so and I think that's just been down to my determination of sitting there fo hour after hour feeding her. In reality it hasn't worked for us (I've posted my own thread) and I have to return to work in three weeks so I have to b realistic about what's best for both of us and I think that's the point in the whole breast/bottle debate. Im just glad I am fortunate enough to have a good supply so I can express too. X

 

[My1stBaby]

I dunno why this always causes such a debate- its YOUR baby- feed them how it makes you happy. I was really worried about bf, didn't want to do it, but as soon as he was born I just suddenly changed my mind n did it. I did it for 5 days- he screamed constantly as he wasn't getting enough- didn't latch properly n I had an awful cut on my left nipple. I had NO-ONE tell me that I could combi feed- I was told if I give him formula that's it, bf will be ruined- that's honestly what I was told.

So I gave him formual as he was so unhappy - he suddenly transformed into a much more content baby- he slept for 1 hour without crying and so I caught up on sleep after having 30 mins a time for 5 days.

If I have another I will try bf again but if I don't feel comfortable or baby isn't thriving on it then ill stop and I will NOT feel ashamed about it.

I've very sick of hearing people being made to feel bad about bf or being called selfish- DON'T feel bad ladies. Its your choice and that's it. Tbh the threads on here about how women are made to feel embarrassed when out publicly bf is enough to put people off doing it in the first place! Society tells us to do it, then doesn't accept women who do it- makes no sense!

Xxx

 

[Pudds86]

me!! but not by other people, by myself. I was adamant that I would breastfeed, i was determined to don't for at least a year...

That was what was best for my baby and that was what i was going to do. I put an incredible amount if pressure on myself. by the time Id had Campbell I hadn't slept in four day and left hospital with terrible baby blues and a stinking cold. That coupled with not latching him in well made me have a meltdown... it wasn't going to plan and i was so So so so mad at myself.

took me ages to get over the fact i was formula feeding him. :'(

x

Sent from my shit hot phone! Fo shizzle home girls.

 

[tiaflame]

I dunno why this always causes such a debate- its YOUR baby- feed them how it makes you happy. I was really worried about bf, didn't want to do it, but as soon as he was born I just suddenly changed my mind n did it. I did it for 5 days- he screamed constantly as he wasn't getting enough- didn't latch properly n I had an awful cut on my left nipple. I had NO-ONE tell me that I could combi feed- I was told if I give him formula that's it, bf will be ruined- that's honestly what I was told.

So I gave him formual as he was so unhappy - he suddenly transformed into a much more content baby- he slept for 1 hour without crying and so I caught up on sleep after having 30 mins a time for 5 days.

If I have another I will try bf again but if I don't feel comfortable or baby isn't thriving on it then ill stop and I will NOT feel ashamed about it.

I've very sick of hearing people being made to feel bad about bf or being called selfish- DON'T feel bad ladies. Its your choice and that's it. Tbh the threads on here about how women are made to feel embarrassed when out publicly bf is enough to put people off doing it in the first place! Society tells us to do it, then doesn't accept women who do it- makes no sense!

Xxx

Good post xx


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[katie_lou]

I dunno why this always causes such a debate- its YOUR baby- feed them how it makes you happy. I was really worried about bf, didn't want to do it, but as soon as he was born I just suddenly changed my mind n did it. I did it for 5 days- he screamed constantly as he wasn't getting enough- didn't latch properly n I had an awful cut on my left nipple. I had NO-ONE tell me that I could combi feed- I was told if I give him formula that's it, bf will be ruined- that's honestly what I was told.

So I gave him formual as he was so unhappy - he suddenly transformed into a much more content baby- he slept for 1 hour without crying and so I caught up on sleep after having 30 mins a time for 5 days.

If I have another I will try bf again but if I don't feel comfortable or baby isn't thriving on it then ill stop and I will NOT feel ashamed about it.

I've very sick of hearing people being made to feel bad about bf or being called selfish- DON'T feel bad ladies. Its your choice and that's it. Tbh the threads on here about how women are made to feel embarrassed when out publicly bf is enough to put people off doing it in the first place! Society tells us to do it, then doesn't accept women who do it- makes no sense!

Xxx

Thank u for this post hun ..... Tbh I don't see why us mummy's cant just all support each other regardless of how we feed our baby xxxx

 

[My1stBaby]

I dunno why this always causes such a debate- its YOUR baby- feed them how it makes you happy. I was really worried about bf, didn't want to do it, but as soon as he was born I just suddenly changed my mind n did it. I did it for 5 days- he screamed constantly as he wasn't getting enough- didn't latch properly n I had an awful cut on my left nipple. I had NO-ONE tell me that I could combi feed- I was told if I give him formula that's it, bf will be ruined- that's honestly what I was told.

So I gave him formual as he was so unhappy - he suddenly transformed into a much more content baby- he slept for 1 hour without crying and so I caught up on sleep after having 30 mins a time for 5 days.

If I have another I will try bf again but if I don't feel comfortable or baby isn't thriving on it then ill stop and I will NOT feel ashamed about it.

I've very sick of hearing people being made to feel bad about bf or being called selfish- DON'T feel bad ladies. Its your choice and that's it. Tbh the threads on here about how women are made to feel embarrassed when out publicly bf is enough to put people off doing it in the first place! Society tells us to do it, then doesn't accept women who do it- makes no sense!

Xxx

Thank u for this post hun ..... Tbh I don't see why us mummy's cant just all support each other regardless if how we feed our baby xxxx

That's exactly right we should all support eachother either way!xxx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Totally agree!

 

[positivity :)]

Just let people do as they choose! If I could have I would have bf for more than a the first 24 hours and wish I could have (I'm on medication that goes thru to the milk so can't bf) but I really have no problem with what others choose.

Even those who 'just' don't want to will have a reason for it, be it psychological.

Same old same old.

 

[Hunnie]

I don't think ive ever bothered posting about feeding on one of these posts but here goes;

I suffered with pnd all the way through pregnancy pretty much from the first week of finding out I was pregnant - in my mind I hated every minute of it! I was always asked by MW if I'd BF and I did say I would. I BF for the first 3 days but by the end of the 3rd day Sophie hadn't really had anything much, had developed a poor latch and began to shred my nipples. Feeding stung so much and it resulted in a hysterical me and hysterical baby. I had no support from MWs as I presumed they were all busy and me being naive asked for help from the care staff rather than insisting on a MW.
When we got home that night I dug my books out an studied the pictures to try and work out what I was doing wrong but to no avail. I rang the BF helpline and was helped by the lady on the end but ended up having to ring back for further help, I never got an answer and I rang a good few times.
It all ended up in me giving formula and when I think back I was so hard on myself but no one was actually ever hard on me for stopping BF. When my MW visited the next morning she was actually really supportive and didn't judge me at all.

I wouldn't say I ever got the feeling of being forced into BF but my thoughts on the whole matter is that if the government want the BF statistics to increase then more helps needs to be given in the first crucial days and once milk comes in to provide both babies and mum with the educating and support.

I think I probably would try to BF next time but if would definitely depend on how busy a lifestyle I had and if i still had my horses as there is no way I could be tied to the sofa feeding for the day as I don't have anyone to do them
and would never be able to afford to.

 

[SunnySue]

That's exactly right we should all support eachother either way!xxx

Exactly. Nobody is selfish, everybody has the right to make their own decisions and nobody has to justify themselves.
Being a new Mum is hard enough without feeling pressured and being told you are selfish, lets just support each other and our decisions.
(I am now not going to comment any further).

 

[Mrs N]

Oddly enough I felt the pressure to bottle feed!! I was very ill after having h and I didnt produce milk for best part of a week but I persevered, I let him latch and suck to stimulate milk and then gave him formula to top him up!! I did bf him for 9 weeks but he didnt put on weight due to the poor quality of my milk. The MW and HVs didnt really offer help but suggested I ff him!! I wish in hindsight I had ff earlier but you live and learn!! I personally dont think that bfing was best for my baby but I did give it a go and if I had another I would do the first few weeks and see how I go!! I think I put too much pressure on myself to bf for 6 months or more were as I should have taken each week as it comes!!
xxx

 

[BevG]

I decided I'd try to bf and was convinced I wouldn't like it and be weirded out by it but actually I loved the closeness it gave me to my baby but unfortunately it's not working out for either of us. I'm expressing and formula feeding as of today and I now have a happy, contented baby who I can enjoy. At least she will still get the benefit of my milk for a while yet.

this is what i was talking about, not name calling or being negative. just being open to trying it for even just the 1 feed after baby is born. if its horrid or for whatever reason then ppl didnt want to do it then thats fine. if it puts you off doing it for future children then hospitals do have access to electric pumps and no mw should be touching you if you dont want her to.
i dont really like getting my boobs out in company lol but i do it cos baby wants feeding and she likes to bf more than she likes bottles and u know what after a while u notice that noone can see anything and noone else cares, ive been told its lovely to see by strangers in the park. no one judged me when i started giving formula as well but noone had ever mentioned using both. at the hospital most ppl FF and the ones that didnt were struggling to bf mostly and i only saw 1 girl getting good support with it, everyoneelse gave up after a night or 2 and ff instead. i think they all chose what was best for them and it dosent matter really if you do or dont bf. just that first feed of colostrum after birth is so so important for babys health and future immunity. if you dont want to do it then fine but thats why lorna says its selfish not to give that 1 feed if theres no medical reason u cant, because its benefit to baby is proven and to not even try to give it when you could because of things like it makes u uncomfortable etc is a bit selfish, im not even saying being selfish is a bad thing. id love to be able to be more selfish as i put myself out far too much and get walked all over and to preserve yourself and do what you want isnt bad, its just putting yourself first. and in that one instance l maclean was saying you should put babys needs first. it wasnt a personal attack and my mum always says noone can make you feel guilty if you have nothign to feel guilty for so dont feel bad if you dont bf, it wont hurt anyone lol. just be a lil open minded to trying that first feed.

 

[clairebear22]

I certainly won't be pressured into BFing this time round and I defo won't beat myself up (like I did with Jack) if it doesn't work out for us. Plus I have Jack to consider now too, he'll only be 20 months when bubs is born and won't really understand where this baby has come from etc and may need lots of emotional support from me & Daddy. I've read lots and lots of posts about cluster feeding and babies BFing for hours on end etc which is fine but what happens to Jack when we're on our own after 2 weeks of having Daddy with us? I have to consider both babies this time round and feel as long as i've given it a good shot and it's not affecting Jack in any way (he's a massive Mummy's boy) then i'll carry on BFing, if it doesn't work out or Jack starts being affected i'll FF. I won't feel giulty at all and I certainly won't be making Jack 'wait' iykwim while i'm attatched to the sofa and he's hungry or needs a nappy change etc x

 

[BevG]

i dont blame you hun lol, it will be hard enough with a toddler and a newborn so you shouldnt do anything that stresses you out more, its just great that your even willing to have a go. a sling is a godsend for times like that and if bf you could feed in a moby so u can still get up and see to ya lil fella

 

[Kayelle]

Just an observation on the conversation but no one was being called selfish when they tried and couldn't do it.

I do think breast is best, but don't care what others decide to do, it wouldn't change what i do.
Maybe I'm lucky that now its easier for me than making up bottles and i love it

I do think its nice when ppl have a go at it , at least baby gets the liquid gold that's made for them.it would be nice if more gave it a go.
Problem is I think a lot that try and can't get defensive really quickly, wrongly, when people talk about the benefits or breastfeeding etc , when its not about putting people down but encouraging , helping and making those that do feel good about it.

 

[knopk@]

I think.Bev you wrote a much.better post than me,.i.had a toddler keeping me up so.wasnt thinking straight.
There are as many misconceptions about BFing as.there is about bottle.feeding,.usual ones being that you have to retreat when you are feeding, that you cant go out, that you will be "getting your boobs out".
None of them are true.
We all.want the best start in life for our children, we want to protect them as much as we can so i dont understand why you wouldnt try. It certainly wont kill you. I didnt work out for me completely too and its great formula is there but i am that sort of person who tries their best before saying no to things.

I found giving birth and everyone being at that end is much worse than discreetly feeding your baby.

Anyway, i am off for a nap.hopefully

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[katie_lou]

Just an observation on the conversation but no one was being called selfish when they tried and couldn't do it.

I do think breast is best, but don't care what others decide to do, it wouldn't change what i do.
Maybe I'm lucky that now its easier for me than making up bottles and i love it

I do think its nice when ppl have a go at it , at least baby gets the liquid gold that's made for them.it would be nice if more gave it a go.
Problem is I think a lot that try and can't get defensive really quickly, wrongly, when people talk about the benefits or breastfeeding etc , when its not about putting people down but encouraging , helping and making those that do feel good about it.

Even so if you choose not to breast feed at all I still don't think it gives ppl the right to say we are being selfish . I didn't breast feed at all and I in no way think it was selfish of me , I know the comment was not aimed at anyone personally but it's hard not to take it personal .

I don't need to justify why I didn't try it and am not going to beat myself up over it either , I have said thou if I do have another baby I would like to try and give breast feeding ago xxx

 

[Kayelle]

I found it very hard and struggled with feeding as my milk took 2 weeks to come in , my nipples bled, for about a week or two I winced everythime he latched, and he lost almost a whole pound in the first week. The mw were terrible with me in hospital, I damaged a nerve in my hand so it was numb and i struggled to lift him out of his cot etc. I had a nurse come and squeeze my boob I was in agony as she got a few drops. He was sleepy after pethedine and nurses told me he needed to feed in a certain time or else...
Yet I kept going and now am proud that i have an exclusive boobie baby

This is MY story and by writing it I am not having a go, or bullying anyone into doing it. I am just proud of my achievement and i tell my story to people only to encourage or help the ones that want to.

 

[Hope81]

If anyone considers that not giving one single feed of colostrum to your baby to protect it from all kind of thing is not selfish then I am sorry...
There always be people that try and they can't, people that are too sick and they can't or it just Dosent happen.
But to choose to not do a single first feed because you don't want to bf is a little selfish...
Ff and bf and nowadays both perfectly good but the colostrums value is incomparable...
i will do everything for the bean to get the colostrum and after that we will see.

I consider myself selfish because one of the greater reasons that I want to bf is purely because it lowers the risk of breast cancer and we already have a family history of that. Well the weight loss too lol. I know that t bean will thrive on formula too and probably I will formula feed eventually as I am going back to work at 3 months.
But well nth gives me the right to deny one colostrum feed to my baby because I will eventually formula feed

 

[Kayelle]

Katie I can understand that truely as obviously I take very much offence when people call breastfeeding disgusting ( not on here I might add but in general public) and feel bullied into ff.