Bludgeoned into Breastfeeding???

[BevG]

ah im not judging anyone hun, just saying what i think, everyone can do what they want and i'll think no less of them for it. we all have free will for that reason. i think thats the important difference here. mw's etc say everyone should bf and make ppl feel bad for choosing not to. i say i think everyone should try but if ppl dont want to i dont care, it dosent affect me if ppl disagree with me and i dont dislike ppl for having different opinions. your free to do what you want doll, dont read anything more into my comments that the fact that i think that. it dosent mean i think you should change your mind. you do whats best for you and be secure in your decision. it wont hurt your baba if you dont bf so dont let anyone make you feel bad or guilty as they cant if you dont let them.

 

[tiaflame]

I dont dislike anyone either I just think there's so much pressure on new mums to bf as it is and being a first time mum, you can feel really bad about it. Xx

 

[BevG]

yeah i know, its a bit full on all or nothing kind thing atm the way mw's keep on about it, daft really as ppl generally change their minds loads during preg and then decide when babys born no matter what they chose before birth they might completely change their mind after lol.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I think threads like this are hugely damaging and set out to make the breast v bottle debate rear it's head up unnesciarily (sp? Gone mad)

The midwives have a point, YES it is best for YOU. YES it is best for BABY. There is no denying that and people should not. They are just doing their job. If it doesn't work for you then that's another story, you tried that's what matters, stop beating yourself up! There are worse things that could happen ! Baby is getting fed that's what matters!

There has been a huge sexualisation of breasts in the last few years that I also don't think helps the issue. They are duel purpose.

 

[cosmicgirl]

For me, and I must stress this was just my opinion, for me, to aid my decision, bf wasn't about whether I would like it or if I wanted to or not. My feelings came second iykwim. MY decision was 100% based on the fact that it was best for my babies. End of.
Again, this is not advice or criticism, this is 100% my thought for me and my children.
How others chose to feed their children has no effect on me or my children but that was my thought x

 

[katie_lou]

Everyone has a choice if u don't want to breast feed you should not be judged bcos of it.I bottle feed and if am being honest I wish I had tried breast feeding and if I am blessed to have another baby I will 100% give it ago , I felt like my Mw were not supportive and just assumed I would be bottle feeding . I think they were like this bcos I look so young am 24 but one midwife said I only looked about 18 lol .

Tbh u can't win either way u get nasty comments by ppl for bottle feeding and just as nasty comments when breast feeding .

Xxxx

 

[Roo3]

In an ideal world I would have loved to bf my baby, as I know it's best for baby and for me BUT it's not an ideal world.
Despite the fact that LO wouldn't latch on properly, the little go I gave it cemented my feeling that BF'ing is not for me. Even prior to having LO, the thought of BF'ing worried me. I just don't feel comfortable doing it. I have no problem seeing other women BF'ing, in fact I feel jealous of them as I would love to feel comfortable enough to do it. To be reminded that your baby is not being given the best start in life when you choose not to breastfeed is heartbreaking as all I want to give my baby is the best BUT I would not have been happy bf'ing. Happy mummy = happy baby.

 

[Mrsstuart01]

I exclusively bf and love it but it was difficult at first as Fin' had a sore head from the forceps and would only feed lying down. It was my determination to not give up that got us through as the midwives suggested topping up various times.
I later found out in Scotland midwives have quotas to meet of mums bf'ing xx

 

[BevG]

well done for even giving it a go roo, of course its not for everybody but its best for baby if you can, even 1 feed makes a lil difference. i think its about not making any definite choice before the birth really and being open to both options, its great if your able to bf and if you want to, its still good if you dont as your doing the best you can for your baby but im deffo with cos and i chose to try and bf cos it was best for baby. no judgement on anyone else as it dosent affect me if they dont but im glad i tried my hardest at it even if i ended up combi feeding. in an ideal world id have managed to exclusively bf

 

[clairebear22]

It's terrible how bad they try to make us feel! I was never made to feel bad for not breast feeding but I still beat myself up about not being able to do it and it was Jack who wouldn't latch on!

I'll never forget one MW in hospital though ...

Jack hadn't had a feed at all since being born and had slept 12hrs straight making his blood sugars drop etc. He wouldn't latch on to me so I asked for some formula and she said "but I thought you wanted to breast feed?!" I bloody did but he won't and he's probably starving and is pretty weak!! We then spent another 24hrs getting his sugars back to normal so imagine if i'd have continued trying to get him to latch on!!

I'm going to try again this time round but won't beat myself up if it's not successful x

this happened to me to when Emilia was born she went for over 12 without food as she wouldn't latch but the mw just kept coming in and pushing her face onto my boob she would maybe do one or 2 sucks then come off I kept telling the mws this but they during these first 12 hours but they just kept forcing her face into my boob Emilia became very lethargic dehydrated and got jaudice and we had a 5 day stay in hospital. I expressed while in hospital and topped up with formula and expressed for another 5 days once home but found the constant expressing and*having to reply on partner to feed baby while I expressed the next feed awful I felt like I wasn't getting time to bond with my baby so I decided to change to formula feeding.

I did want to breastfeed but it is a personal choice which you wanna do but I do feel in my experience they try and force the breast is best when sometimes for the babys sake it isn't

They told me they 'weren't allowed to touch the women' and literally waved Jack infront of me an hour after he was born, he obviously didn't get what he was meant to be doing so they put him the the cot thingy. I was numb from an epidural and couldn't reach him safely enough to get him out of the cot and asked 4 different MW's that night to get him for me and every single one said 'he's fine he's sleeping' even when I said 'but he's never had a feed'!! Then when the day staff came on and I told them he'd never fed and it'd been 12 hours all hell broke loose and they finally took notice!! He then had heel prick tests every 2hrs (6 in total) and a feed every 90 mins because he was finding it hard to suck a bottle (turned out the teat was too hard for him) and he had to have a proper blood test too! It WILL NOT happen with this baby, I defo learnt I need to make a fuss to get help!! x

 

[l_maclean]

Not being able to and not wanting to are two completely different things.

Im gonna post my opinion on this - its not aimed at anyone, but its how i feel!!

Personally "not wanting to" - not one single feed - is plain selfish - its not just about you, its about your child and whats best for them should come first - one is saying once you bf you are stuck with that method of feeding - but to not even ever attempt it is just selfish IMO.

Not being able to - generally this is through a lack of support/knowledge and in this day and age its really quite a sad thing. The bf rates in this country are shockingly low, and there is no way that there are more brits than any other nation who "cant" breast feed. Yes some MW pressure you, maybe the way in which they do it is wrong, but they are just trying to advocate for your LO.

 

[aliciabubba]

i think everyone should at least try and do it no matter how u feel before having a baby id at least give bf a go to pass on my immunities to baby so that he/she gets the best possible start. you wouldnt have to do more than a couple of feeds to do at least some of that. if it dosent work out or you dont like it then thats fine u do whats best for you but u never know you might like it or it might work out easily for you and you would never know for sure until you tried. also you can never regret the decision that way either cos at least you gave it a go. it isnt for everybody and it dosent work out for everyone, it can be hard for some and easy for others and whatever way you feed your baby is up to you, you shouldnt be pressured into anything. i just think its a shame when ppl dont even try for whatever reason. no offence meant to anyone at all its just my opinion cos i tried so very hard to ebf and now combi feed as it didnt work out but i refused to give up completely and muddled along into what worked out for me. its always told as one or the other, no one tells you that you can do both.

Totally agree!!!!!!

 

[Hope81]

I don't see anything wrong with ff but to CHOOSE to not give your baby the colostrum I think it's awful.
I see it like a first vaccination that my LO has to have... I will give it the colostrum regardless how hard and painful is... After all us only like 3-5 days. If for whatever reason I can't bf after that and expressing Dosent work then ff with no regrets.
I can see though why the mw are pressing the first days to bf.

 

[knopk@]

In my opinion, there is too.much sexualisation of breast. Their first purpose is for making milk(unfortunately not all.the time successfuly).and there is no.denying breastmilk.is the best food but there are different circumstances. I.have tried my best but wasnt making enought milk but i gave it my all and i am.still mixed feeding.
Obvioisly its a personal decision and nobody can be forced but i think if there was more actual support available, as opposed to just propaganda, i think bf rates would be higher

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[tiaflame]

I don't see what gives you the right to call anyone selfish at all ! Thats all I'm saying on it!


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[Roo3]

I don't see what gives you the right to call anyone selfish at all ! Thats all I'm saying on it!


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Agree 100%.

 

[knopk@]

Because if you dont want to even give the colostrum because YOU dont want to (just to stress, not you personally), it makes it about you and not the baby.
I personally dont understand why you wouldnt even try but i dont understand many things in this world

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[tiaflame]

But that still doesn't give you to right to call 'anyone' (not just me, I understand) selfish! I'd never dream of saying that to someone- just no need as its not your business if they do or don't 'want to'.
We don't have to justify our reasons for not wanting to either so if the midwife asks me why I won't, she will just be told I don't want to, I don't have to give a reason!


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[Hope81]

Well truth hurts sometimes. Colostrum is so important that just because of principle someone dosent want to do it or try at least comes just at definition of selfish.
Now is everyone's choice at the end but that Dosent change the fact, only that we are allowed to be selfish covered under out free will

 

[tiaflame]

Truth doesn't hurt me tbh. Don't feel selfish nor guilty and I certainly won't be bullied into it!


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