* How Should I Handle This (Thanx Everyone..Update Page 2) *

[aramintalovegrove]

This is such an emotive subject, I feel for you torn between your ethics and wanting to be a good friend.

When I found out I was pregnant I was gutted, my OH had the snip last year as I was parinoid about becoming pregnant and my son was 8 years old so there was no way I would choose to start all over again.

My best Friend had a termination and I went with her, at the time I had not decided what we were doing about my pregnancy so it was very wierd, however everything went horrribly wrong with her and she ended up on morphine and two blood transfusions so Im very pleased that I went with her as I couldnt bare to think about her being alone with what happened to her.

For us we are in very different situations, and have made the right decisions for us.

we both felt a bit awkward around each other after as niether of us wanted to press our decisions onto each other, but we had a chat about it and its all fine now.

Im sure your friend will understand if you definatley cant go, especilly if reasonably her OH could go with her.

 

[trixipaws]

i couldnt have a termination myself (hence my beautiful baby!) but im sure even those who do find it hard and dont make the decision lightly (most anyway) so u need to support her as her friend. BUT, i think its too much to ask a pregnant woman to go to an abortion clinic, even tho its not her whose getting one. she should understand that u would find it too distressing. im sorry ur in this situation

 

[lfc_sarah]

Thanx everyone for the help!!
Really...
I was a bit emotional when i first posted this...!

I just couldnt believe that she'd got pregnant.
Shes a really good friend to me, but like all relationships... people do things you dont agree on...

Since school shes always been a bit stupid when it comes down to contraception... like it wouldnt happen to her
(when we all know it can)

She used to have one night stands, without protection and id tell her over and over again...
Her period would be late, she'd panic, then find out she wasnt pregnant...

We fell out once.. because i was that sick of her being so stupid, i told her straight... and she didnt like it...

Then she got into a long term relationship... went on the pill/ had that contaception thingy (sorry) in her arm..
Then they broke up and shes with someone else... i thought she was still using protection...
When i got pregnant, i was on the pill, but i must have missed one, and i know mistakes happen...

But in her case , it was just stupidity... She mentioned to me she was late a few months ago at a party we went to.
I asked her was she using protection and she said condoms... but sometimes not...
I told her then she was stupid...

But i suppose, because shes been late so many times, i didnt believe she would be pregnant...

I was shocked when she said she isnt keeping the baby...
Because i know she can give it just as much of a life as i can give mine..
Has the support of her family and her OH and his family..

I think her decision is mainly selfish to be honest.... (sounds harsh i know)
That she loves her patying too much...

As soon as i found out i was pregnant... i knew straight away that i was keeping the baby...
Even though it would mean big life changes, mainly due to my partying... which i did a lot...
But i faced up to my responsibilities like a lot of people on here have done aswel



Anyway.... i had a talk with her yesterday and told her that i just wouldnt feel comfortable coming to her appointment..
I dont think its the abortion tomorrow, i think its just a consultation about it...
But i still dont want to go...
I told her that i dont agree with her having an abortion but i will support her whatever she decides..
And even said she could come to mine after it if she fancies a chat, company or whatever.

She understood so....
Im just hoping she changes her mind....
Ill still her her friend whatever....
But it will upset me if she does ...

Anyway,... thanx again everyone

 

[zebrastripes]

you've done the right thing, especially telling her that you'd still be there for her etc

 

[dannii87]

Yeah you definitely did the right thing hun. Don't worry, she'll make the right decision for HER... But I really can sympathise. My mum's friend has 4 daughters, 20, 17, and twins at 14.

The 20 year old is desperate for a baby a doesn't use any contraception but hasn't gotten pregnant for over a year now.

The 17 year old is currently pregnant after 3 mc and doesn't know who the dad is (she was TTC)

One of the twins has had 4 mc, the latest one was just over a month ago.

It really really really annoys me because they're playing with fire and going to get burned. The thing is, none of them are mature in any shape or form and I can't help but feel really angry that some poor little life is being created for the purpose of getting a council house and some company and a little doll to dress up... It really upsets me.

The other side of it is the STDs they might catch (or have already caught!) That's worrying.

Anyway, there's nothing I can do and I don't feel like I am in the position to support their decisions and so I've broken off from them because if I can't say anything nice, I won't say anything at all.

Sometimes in life you have to do that, I hope it doesn't get to that point with your friend, but I could totally understand if it does. xxx

 

[MissSara]

You made the decision that was right for you and her being a friend will understand this.

I was told yesterday ( well last night ) by my friend who was also my birth partner with H that she had a temination on 10th march, which would have been my due date for my twins.
And i guess i have the same emotions as you, my friend as been silly and selfish and she uses terminations as a form of contraception. Sorry to invade you post here, i'll stop before i get into rambling....lol.

 

[dannii87]

You made the decision that was right for you and her being a friend will understand this.

I was told yesterday ( well last night ) by my friend who was also my birth partner with H that she had a temination on 10th march, which would have been my due date for my twins.
And i guess i have the same emotions as you, my friend as been silly and selfish and she uses terminations as a form of contraception. Sorry to invade you post here, i'll stop before i get into rambling....lol.

That must have been really hard for you There's only so much you can support though, friend or not. xxx

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Well done for explaining it to her and being supportive too

One of my friends said if she was to get pregnant then she wouldn't keep the baby and i found that hard enough to deal with and she isn't even in the situation!

Several people were surprised i was keeping my LO because i'd just started my uni course, was still living at home etc etc but there was never any doubt in mine or my OH's mind.

Carelessness when it comes to contraception bugs me (i.e. not using it!)

I am proof though that it doesn't always work! I took my pill religiously - never missed on, i even made sure to take it at the same time every day (even though it wasn't one where you had to) and i somehow got pregnant!

Wouldn't change it for the world now though

Anyway, i hope your friend makes the right decision for herself in the end. xxxxxxxxxx

 

[lfc_sarah]

You made the decision that was right for you and her being a friend will understand this.

I was told yesterday ( well last night ) by my friend who was also my birth partner with H that she had a temination on 10th march, which would have been my due date for my twins.
And i guess i have the same emotions as you, my friend as been silly and selfish and she uses terminations as a form of contraception. Sorry to invade you post here, i'll stop before i get into rambling....lol.

Aww invade all you want...

xx

 

[lfc_sarah]

Well done for explaining it to her and being supportive too

One of my friends said if she was to get pregnant then she wouldn't keep the baby and i found that hard enough to deal with and she isn't even in the situation!

Several people were surprised i was keeping my LO because i'd just started my uni course, was still living at home etc etc but there was never any doubt in mine or my OH's mind.

Carelessness when it comes to contraception bugs me (i.e. not using it!)

I am proof though that it doesn't always work! I took my pill religiously - never missed on, i even made sure to take it at the same time every day (even though it wasn't one where you had to) and i somehow got pregnant!

Wouldn't change it for the world now though

Anyway, i hope your friend makes the right decision for herself in the end. xxxxxxxxxx

I was on the pill also...
Also annoys me that people who are stupid with contracteption over and over again put themselves in this situation...
And use abortion to ... fix it....

My friend went to her appointment today, and looks as though shes still going to go through with the abortion..

 

[nickilubs]

Sorry to hear she still going ahead with it. Its her choice though your a great friend for standing by her.