Bitter sweet :)

[Sunbeam638]

So my brother announced they were having a baby today...the same due date as me....really happy for them but it's brought back my own sadness and the same date has compounded the issue but Hopefully my holiday come Saturday will help me lift my spirits. Onwards and upwards as they say xx

 

[dyscochick]

Oh sunbeam thats hard. Did they know about your mc? I've got 2 work friends due on my due date and 3 friends due 6-8 weeks later but thankfully noone that close. I'm the same, so happy for them, but still sad that it won't be me. Big

 

[Olive]

x

 

[Sunbeam638]

Thanks girls they knew the entire time but didn't want to say anything and were so sad for me they were both crying and I was fine (didn't stop the tears flowing afterwards) Such a shame that we aren't having babies together my family must be feeling torn about having a happy son sad daughter. The same date, what are the chances?! I can't even think negatively when I'm so happy for them but my head feels like it's going to explode.

Dysco- that's hard for you. I'm the only girl where I work so I can escape. Big hugs for you too xx

 

[dyscochick]

I literally just had a text from oh step dad, his daughter, oh's step sister is pregnant again. It really feels like it's just me.

 

[Sunbeam638]

Oh hunny! Just as we pick ourselves up off the floor it feels like we are being tripped up! Thinking of you, it's happy news but sad and it's not feeling jealous or anything I just think it reminds us of our own loss. Big big hugs! Xxx

 

[dyscochick]

exactly, i really really am pleased for them, just wish i was with them, joining that elusive club of mummy's to be!

 

[Nurse 26]

to you both. xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Good news comes in three....my brother, my parents so maybe soon it's my turn and your turn!

Thanks nurse & olive, if it wasn't for PF I would be in a right pickle! Roll on saturday when I can sip a cocktail on a sunny balcony and chill-----out

Xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Aw ladies , sending you a hug. I expect your brother and wife had a really tough time telling you.

My best mate had a MMC at 12 weeks three years ago, and has been TTC ever since with no luck bless her.

I had already three lovely kids and then tried for one last one. I got preg, waited to tell her, never seemed to be the right time as I knew she would put on a brave face and then cry herself to bits after she went home. Finally braved it, she said she didnt get upset, but hey who wouldn't (been there), I felt terrible. I then sadly lost baby at 11 weeks MMC, she was there for me as I was for hers.

So almost straight after I lost, I was lucky enougth to fall preg again, I couldn't imagine how to tell her again a second time, I was the worst thing I had to do ever..

Your brothers due date - maybee in a strange way it was meant to be, as yours had not been able to continue, a sort of karma perhaps, maybee that's a easier way to look at it, keeping the special date in the family.

XX

 

[Sunbeam638]

Thanks JJ. Thats a sign of a lovely friendship

Oh I'm really happy for them. I can never compare things with "that should be me too" etc because feeling like that will achieve nothing. It was very hard they were both crying when the told me. I am just so sad that they had to feel sad for me when they should be totally focused on their happiness and I hate the fact they have been put in this position. They should be really happy and I feel like my mc has dampened it and I'm angry with myself for stealing that from them and I regret so deeply I told them I was pregnant then they never would have to have worried and gone through that.

I am a very strong person and having the same date is good karma but it just would have been perfect to go through it with her because we are close. But what ifs won't change things and it has stopped me from telling my mum how I'm feeling and them because it will spoil their happiness. I feel like I have closed a door on them tonight, not to distance myself just to hide my sadness away from what should be a happy time for them and I don't want them to have to worry or feel like they are stepping on egg shells around me. PF is my sanctuary xx

 

[dyscochick]

we always here for you hun, i'm sure it will test you but you sounds so very strong xxxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Thanks Dysco, you too I am made of tough stuff and my OH is like a total cup full of positivity sometimes it frustrates me when I want a day of self pity but he makes no allowances and if he did I'm sure I would be such a moaner!

Xx

 

[netty]

aww thats hard to hear, these things are sent to test us ( as if we havnt already been through enough ) big hugs to you hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry to hear that OP, I have two friends due the same week I would have been and that is hard enough.

On a slightly brighter note.... My S-I-L (brothers partner) had M/c last year, 6 weeks later my sis announces her pregnancy which was very difficult fo my S-I-L. less than 2 months later my S-I-L fell pregnant again and earlier this year my sis and S-I-L had a little baby boy each - 5 weeks apart.

I kind of try to keep the faith that things work out in the end.. but it's hard! I think I'll punch the next person that announces a pregnancy (kidding!)

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I have a girl i used to be best mates with, who stole my image and my friends and made me really question myself and feel insecure about who i was...

anyway, we havent really spoken for a number of years (mostly because i am scared she will steal Liam too) when i found out i was pregnant, i found out she was pregnant. Due two days before me

I have just moved to within 50 yards of her house. So i am going to watch this girl who has taken so much from me for so long, carry and give birth to her little girl, when mine is dead and probably right now on some cold slab in a university mortuary having her post mortem done. I feel rank about it, really really rank. I walk a massively long roundabout way into town to try and avoid seeing her. Its going to be difficult i know it is.

Oh well... such is life, the cruel beautiful mistress that she is. x

 

[TORino]

Aw Hun, what an awful situation. I must say though, your attitude is remarkable. It really is. I wish I could have been more like you when a similar thing happened in my family. My SIL must have found out she was pregnant about a week before I lost mine. She waited until she was just about 12 weeks to tell us. The whole family had been sitting on that secret for weeks and weeks and I hated it. When she came round to tell us I was playing with my nephew in the garden and overheard her telling felipe in the lounge. I felt like someone had kicked me in the chest. I totally went off the rails. I felt really angry about the situation I had been put in. Like it wasn't hard enough having a mc and getting over that. Then I was to be faced with my nose being rubbed in it (unintentionally of course) for the next 6 months. I wasn't jealous of her necessarily, I just really did not want reminding of what could have been every 5 mins. When I had my mc, SIL didn't acknowledge it had happened. Not once did I get a sorry to hear, thinking of you, are you ok? From her. Not once. I was really upset that she ignored it. I understand that she was probably really worried/stressed herself .
It turned out that a week later at her 12 week scan the sac had not developed and she had a mmc.

The feelings I had around this time were so intense. Poor hubby was caught right in the middle of it all. I half hate myself for how I acted tbh. Now I'm pregnant again Im a bit worried about telling her. She already has a boy so the situations are a little different but it can't be very nice all the same.

 

[Sunbeam638]

Ah it sounds like we have all been in the sane boat. I feel less stressed today but thanks to a drop call in the house I have been up all night so shattered today. Not the start to the holiday I would Like and it gave me far to much time through the night to think about things. Typical scenarios in my head, questions unanswered about last few weeks etc and guilt for not knowing when i was sad and talking about it to them then it made me annoyed that Didn't tell me sooner but I know they had the best intentions.

I am just grateful to know in a very selfish way reading this thread Im not the only one who has confused emotions! Hugs all round ladies x

 

[dyscochick]

So i've now lost count, found out another friend, a girl I was trying to arrange to give me a shiatsu massage, is pregnant. It just keeps on coming. So pleased for them and just wish it was me.
BB your situation sound so awful. Did you know she lived there when you moved? You sound so string but this set of circumstances would challenge the vest of anyone. Well done honey for being so together xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Yes i knew she lived round the corner when i moved, but its such a perfect house and the council wouldnt have been happy with me refusing it. I have found a different route to walk into town which i think i will use most of the time though it is like 15mins rather than 5 lol

Its okay, to be honest she REALLY wanted a little girl, like so much she dressed her son up like a fairy for years (i know, i think its child abuse to be honest) and so i am really happy for her. Sad for me, but happy for her and glad that of all the people who might have to go through this horrid thing, I at least have a bouncing beautiful baby boy to keep me going through it all.