Bit of a rant about other forums - snide comments

[Donna88]

Sorry I feel like I need a bit of a rant; I'm not on any other forums but after a quick Google search I'm glad I'm not.

So this month we ovulated later than expected and although the week I thought I was ovulating we had sex every other day; the following week we managed the day before positive opk and none after that. So knowing a positive opk means ovulation will happen the next day or so I was a little concerned that we're out this month and did a quick google search to see if it is still possible that we might conceive this month.

On absolutely every thread asking the same thing there is some snotty woman saying "No it's impossible to conceive the day before a positive opk because you can't conceive until the egg is released; conception is when the sperm and the egg join together so how could that happen before the egg is even released!?!? There might still be some sperm waiting for the egg though so you could conceive AFTER ovulation from that"


It just winds me up; like do you not think that's what these women are asking; I don't believe anyone asking that question really thinks that you can conceive without releasing an egg! I just don't understand why these women who are all in the same boat feel the need to tear each other down. I mean maybe it's just me but the posts I saw all seemed very condescending and they were on literally every thread.

 

[SmithyBaby]

I completely understand why you feel like that. I didn't even get a positive opk this month and didn't even think I ovulated and googled the hell out of it. Came across similar people which made me glad to be here. Everyone is so positive here and I've felt like I can post here and people are helpful rather than rude or condescending. It's sad to see as we go through enough ttc and maybe not all our OHs are as understanding or knowledgeable so we really need to build each other up rather than year each other down xx

 

[Elven]

I have looked at a few other forums, from searching for things like you. None of them seem as welcoming and helpful as this one, like you say, lots seem to be quite condescending with their responses. TTC can be such a stressful experience, the last thing you need are awful remarks!

 

[Sunflower1]

Sorry I feel like I need a bit of a rant; I'm not on any other forums but after a quick Google search I'm glad I'm not.

So this month we ovulated later than expected and although the week I thought I was ovulating we had sex every other day; the following week we managed the day before positive opk and none after that. So knowing a positive opk means ovulation will happen the next day or so I was a little concerned that we're out this month and did a quick google search to see if it is still possible that we might conceive this month.

On absolutely every thread asking the same thing there is some snotty woman saying "No it's impossible to conceive the day before a positive opk because you can't conceive until the egg is released; conception is when the sperm and the egg join together so how could that happen before the egg is even released!?!? There might still be some sperm waiting for the egg though so you could conceive AFTER ovulation from that"


It just winds me up; like do you not think that's what these women are asking; I don't believe anyone asking that question really thinks that you can conceive without releasing an egg! I just don't understand why these women who are all in the same boat feel the need to tear each other down. I mean maybe it's just me but the posts I saw all seemed very condescending and they were on literally every thread.

To be honest you are more likely to conceive by dtd before ovulation rather than after because the sperm needs some time to hang out in the fallopian tubes. I ovulate about 12 hrs after a positive and it's fairly normal to ovulate 12-36 hrs after...in that case the day before a positive opk you are very fertile. Also the older you are the closer to the LH surge you tend to ovulate.

I think you are in with a good chance this month. Sperm tend to survive from 2-3 days depending on the weather so even if you ovulated 2 days after dtd there would still be sperm there.

I don't know why women tear each other down...I've just had a rant elsewhere on the forum about how women treat over 40s women who are TTC. Maybe they are anxious themselves and it makes them feel better to squash your hopes...I don't know.

 

[MoominGirl]

I'm not on any other forums either and to be honest I'm not even tempted. Joining this one was my first cautious step in the forum world and everyone is so lovely and supportive. So many people (myself included) come into TTC thinking it should be fairly straightforward and have no idea how tough it can be. I was so unprepared I'm almost embarrassed when I look back now but the support I've had on here was huge. I could ask stupid questions and not get laughed at. I could rant to people who actually got it. It can be such a lonely time. Maybe people get some sort of kick out of dragging others down? Personally, I'd rather support others and be supported.

 

[Donna88]

Yeah I'm not tempted by them either, I was just reading responses because I assumed there would be plenty of threads on the situation already so didn't want to make another one here (although that's what I've ended up doing with this anyway haha, it just really wound me up reading that on every single one and I just thought, I've never seen anything like that on here)


SmithyBaby - I hope you get some good news this month, I'm really no expert on the opks - but I do think you can easily miss the surge.


Sunflower1 thank you that's good to hear, it's only our first month trying so obviously not expecting any miracles but would be over the moon if we had caught on this month and would also have felt really bad if we'd basically just thrown our chance away by dtd at the completely wrong time.


Thank you all for your response, I felt a bit silly after I posted that - but it was just really annoying me and I needed to get it out.

 

[WinterWolf]

100% agree! I joined this forum even though I'm not in the UK because most forums are full of jerks! People here are so much nicer.

 

[LuckyG]

I know what you mean, I’ve read some condescending comments in other forums too.

I’ve nit been here long, but can already tell it’s a nice place to be.