birth partners?

[scottishterrier]

ok so i realise the majority of you will be having your OH/DH as your birth partner, however i don't have one of those (lol dont worry its a good thing) so anyway i dont have any aunts or close family and my best friends are not mums and would probably be put off for life if i asked them in lol.
My mum has offered but to be honest we don't have that a close relationship and although its silly i even feel uncomfortable in a bikini infront of mum! she was in the waiting room when ellie was born and even then i didnt want her coming in till i was decent( i realise how silly it sounds).

So im out of options, i reckon i could do it myself, after all when ellie was born her dad was as much use as a hole in the head!

what do you reckon?

 

[reallyoldmum]

I think thats really brave - my ex husband was with me when I had my two and i agree all he did was go on about how hungry he was so would probably been better off on my own ........ If you get a good midwife they will be there to support you anyway

If you lived nearer to shropshire I would offer to come and hold your hand but I suspect you live in Scotland which is just a tad to far. Good luck who ever you decide to have with you x

 

[Bloom]

I was gonna offer too but im in Devon we are other ends of the country i don't think i would make it in time lol

 

[scottishterrier]

You can get them doula people ...or summin like that ..apparently there quite good. xxxx

good idea but don't you have to pay for those though?

 

[scottishterrier]

thanks for the offers...if only you guys lived closer to me!!!

 

[Squiglet]

Well... I did a majority of my labour on my own...and it's not too bad... My ex decided going off and smoking weed with his mates was more important than staying with me as I gave birth to our first born child.... but hey... that's what he was like.

To tell you the truth, I think I was better off... He made me too nervous... Just before he left me at the hospital, he'd been telling me it couldn't hurt as much as when he got stabbed in the leg.. and when he turned up ten minutes before Tia popped out, there were already so many doctors, nurses, and midwives in the room, he wasn't really able to get in or be of support.

This time, I thought really long and hard about doing it myself.. I don't like people seeing me in pain, crying, being sick, I feel as if it shows weakness on my behalf... but DH (whos highly opinionated like me) said he would be there for the birth, and didn't plan to leave unless it was to pee or get a drink/bite to eat.

So... he'll be there... plus I might need him because he speaks Spanish as a native and I well...er might not be able to muster spoken English, let alone a language I've only spoken for 5 years....

Its your choice ultimately, but the labour midwives are usual very helpful, they know what they are doing, and in many cases they say that the labours of women on their own, are much easier, because you will be listening only to their instructions and not the words of your partner..

Alternatively, if you don't think you could face it alone, doulas are another option and tend to be very skilled... but obviously cost.

 

[scottishterrier]

thanks squiglet.

i think for now anyway im willing to do it alone. i might change my mind but i doubt it.
xx

 

[Vicki & Nathan]

it was my intention to have my OH but when the time came my mum was there too so she came in too

i was the same the thought of my mum seeing me like that made me cringe but its true in childbirth you lose all sense of dignity and after you have about 2 docs and 3 midwifes with their heads down there your own mum doesnt seem so bad

my mum saw his head come out and really made her day

 

[mrs_tommo22]

You do what ou are comfortable with,who knows you might make an amazing friend before you LO is born and they may go with you, who knows, you have a while to go yet nd think about it.

 

[siobhan]

You go for it, if its what you want to do! Pretty sure my husband will be in Iraq when I give birth so I too will be going it alone!!

The midwives will be great Im sure, and what about having your mums phone number on your birth plan say, and if things get a bit hairy or you feel you do need support get the midwives to ring her to come in?

In my first labour my Mum was with me during the early stages but left the room every time I was examined and when it came to pushing, the midwives were very understanding about my wishes as was my Mum.

 

[soulem]

I was on my own when I had my son, my OH left me to it at 7 weeks!

I put on my birth plan that I was going to be on my own as I couldn't think of 1 person I could ask to be there for it! Anyway, the night of my labour my friend took me up to the hospital and she ended up staying! The midwife asked if she was and I said it was completely up to her as I didn't want to traumatise her as she didn't have children of her own!

She stayed and my labour was the biggest girly laugh! I also had a student midwife so us 3 girlies were laughing and joking throughout and they helped keep me calm and aware so I didn't need any drugs other than my gas and air, which was quite surprising as my son was 10lb!

My friend said that it looked so much easier than she had ever imagined and she now has a 4 month old little girl of her own!

I'd say pick a close friend, if they are willing, doesn't matter if they haven't any children! My labour was brilliant with my friend there.

 

[muppetmummy]

OH and I weren't together when James was born so I had my mum there. To be honest I might as well have been on my own because she just sat in a corner looking sick and didn't even hold my hand!
Don't invite your mum if you're not comfortable with the idea. If you do decide to go it alone I'm sure you'd be fine.
I would mention it to your friends though and see what they say, they might surprise you and be really up for it