Bickering mum and sister

[Merfairy]

Hi, being the first to have a baby in my immediate family I am really struggling with my mother and sister fighting for who is going to to see the baby first!! My sister thinks I am going to be texting her and having her up at the hospital when I go in to labour, and my mum is insistent on seeing her grandchild on her own before my sister gets a look in...

I am like wtf... I am due to be induced on Wednesday, my mum knows, but my sister does not, purely because I don't want her rushing up the hospital to see me when in labour (my sister is not the most relaxing influence on the planet). My mum doesn't drive and cannot get to the hospital, she is few miles away but she wants to see her grandchild alone before my sister (I am dreading the home visits from my mum and sister). My mum and sister have a difficult relationship, always have so I tell each of them things I can tell them if you catch my drift, as I don't want to offend or upset anyone in any way and always try to stay on side of both of them, but to be honest I wish I was having the baby far far away so no one could descend on me in hospital...

I made a decision that I was not going to have any contact regarding the birth until after baby is born, so I can do it in peace. My OH, on the other hand thinks I am being selfish and thinks I should be inviting people up to the hospital when baby is born, I don't want to do this at the moment, though I could change my mind admittedly. I am worried he will do invites even if I do not want it, so a little concerned and I will be so angry with him if he does this without me agreeing to it.

Not looking for any answers here just wanted to offload... arrgghh... families can be a nightmare sometimes... this whole baby bickering is becoming really annoying and so many people are texting and calling about how baby is, but its like.. let me in peace please.. no one wants to miss out on the action of course and I understand people are interested and want to offer support and I do appreciate it, really, but you know sometimes you just feel like you want to be left alone. My mum wants to call tomorrow, but I am like.. nooo.. bugger of let me be ... grrrr...

Anyway... thanks for the read and the chance to offload... this forum has been great.. x

 

[spice]

hey hun,

i dont think it's being selfish for you to want alone time with your newborn in hospital at all, it's new for you too and people need to remember this! you can always have it on your notes that you don't want any visitors (unless you change your mind!)

my mum has recently spoken about actually being involved in the birth . . . my OH thinks she should be there but i'm unsure! his mum and sister live over 200 miles away, and were supposed to be coming down the week i'm due, but her horse recently kicked her in the knee and now she doesn't know if she'll come down, which to me is a godsend!

i really want some time just me, my OH and our baby (we live with his dad, so as soon as we get home we wont be alone any-more )

hope it all works out for you x

 

[KellyHook]

its a bit different for me, as i had brooke early she was in special care for 2 weeks, when i got home i loved having people over, i suppose because i was just at the hospital constantly for 2 weeks, i didnt really see anyone and wanted to show her off!! but im sure il be different this time around, il prob be tired and sore etc, so will like to have time on my own!

spice, i would love my mum to be in with me while i was having little man, she is my best friend! but OH just wants me and him this time, so as she came in with me and OH with our 1st i suppose its only fair to respect his wishes... she will be driving us to the hospital, so when we actually get there OH might just want her there for support for him as well as me! but either way i will be happy x

 

[spice]

spice, i would love my mum to be in with me while i was having little man, she is my best friend! but OH just wants me and him this time, so as she came in with me and OH with our 1st i suppose its only fair to respect his wishes... she will be driving us to the hospital, so when we actually get there OH might just want her there for support for him as well as me! but either way i will be happy x

my parents live about half hour away and i know that when i call them and say i think i'm in labour i know they will be right up to my house! i would like my mum there, but just feels a little odd at the same time! my mum and OH are so much alike and have a very close relationship (he was going to ask her without talking to me about it first!) so i know she would be there to support him as much as me! i've said we'll see how i'm coping and let that decided if my mum comes with us or not! hopefully your OH will say he doesn't mind your mum coming in when its actually happening! x

 

[BabysMomma]

Hey hunni, I can understand you not wanting anyone other than your OH at the hospital for visiting. I too don't really want visitors and my OH is the same as yours...in thinking that I'm being selfish.

I didn't bond with my DS when I had him and I gave up on breastfeeding after a few days cos of it. So this time around I just want time with my LO to establish breastfeeding and "our" time.

It just really peeves me off that my sisters who are never normally "there" for me all of a sudden want to know when I'm going into labour and want to visit at the hospital and at my home...I moved into my new home in Dec '10 and not one member of my family have been to visit yet so that says it all really. They're all consumed with woe is me attitudes which I don't massage and they don't like that.

So why would I want them visiting when I've had my LO and need rest and "our" time. Its not like they'll be visiting to help out or offer support. I know for a fact that its cos they're being nosey and that babies have a cuteness factor that a lot of people somehow can't resist.

I just hope that I'm in and out in a day! Please, please, please!

If I was you, I'd not mention to them that you're in labour until you've had your LO...that's my plan and then I'll say I was in too much pain to be thinking about contacting people. I know for a fact though that my OH will contact all his family. I don't mind them as they're there for me more than my own family, but at the same time I just want to bond with my LO on my own.

to you hunni as its a heck of a situation to be in. x