BFP but scared :(

[Amy0801]

Hi ladies
DF and I are on our 3rd cycle and this morning I have a confirmed BFP! On Monday and Tuesday I did a cheap test and got faint lines and today AF is due so I bought a digital test from my local pharmacy and it's come up 'pregnant'! I haven't been sleeping well recently as I suffer with a lot of anxiety and I have been worrying about how I will cope with a baby when we have a 6 year old daughter who has autism. We know she will love a brother or sister but I am worried about the changed in the family, worried about doing it all again, worried I am not maternal enough! Everything is going through my head! On the past cycles when we got a negative I was gutted but now I have a positive Im scared to death and feel in denial!! I was sure I would do the test and it would be negative and AF would arrive and I would feel relieved! I have made an appointment today to see my doctor because I can't go on not sleeping and struggling with anxiety as it's effecting my health! What's wrong with me?!?! Xx

 

[Elfs Mummy]

theres nothing wrong with you your worries are completely natural. Your daughter will be a fantastic big sister and the new baby will be besotted with her. maybe look into getting a few books and have a chat with your doctor about all the worries you have. Congratulations to you

 

[Emlou15e]

When i was pregnant with my first son, i was so shocked to get my bfp after a couple of months, even though me and my husband had planned to Start a family i was happy but so scared. It Took me a few weeks to get used to the fact my life was going to change. I cried everynight, i hardly ate anything, i didnt want to be alone. I was happy but terrified, we were both living at my parents at the time so had there support. Ive suffered with anxiety on and off for the past 7 years, sometimes im anxious about just leaving the house then other times i can be absolutley fine. I do not let my anxiety stop me from leading a normal life. Once i went for my first scan and started telling people, my confidence started to grow, all my anxieties went and i was really happy. Even after my son was born my anxiety stayed away for over a year. Recently it has come back on and off but in know how to cope with it. Take each day as it comes, im sure as time goes on you will get used to the idea of another baby and your confidence in yourself will grow. Stay strong and be positive, having my son is the best thing that has happened to me, i could not imagine my life without him, im sure this is how you will feel when you have your two children! X

 

[Amy0801]

Hi ladies.
Thank you for your replies.
I have been to see the Doctor and she was really nice. She explained that she obviously cant give me anything for sleep and anxiety if I am pregnant. She told me to sit and talk with DF and write down the things I am frightened about having another baby. She said that understandably I will be scared of the change if I already have a child with autism who requires a lot of attention and who I worry about constantly but don't decide not to have a baby because I am scared about it. Although I am scared, i am more worried about whether I actually want another child or not all together! I don't know why I am feeling like this..I thought when we decided to have another I would be really excited but now I'm not! I just don't know what to do xx

 

[scaredmummy]

Hi, it's fine to feel worried especially as it will mean changes for your daughter. We were in the same position, I have a 10 year old boy who has autism and were very worried how he would take to having a brother/sister but has been very grown up about it and has taken it in his stride, in fact the first questuon he asked was 'would it have it's own ipad?'

He asked the other day if he could be the first to hold the baby abd we said we would ensure that he held it before any other visitor. We have decided that once baby is born that visitors make a fuss of son first before the baby so he doesn't feel left out.

I'm nervous of doibg it all again especially after 10 years! Good luck and i'm sure everything will be fine x

 

[Amy0801]

Hi
Well after confirming my BFP on Thursday and having a complete breakdown and speaking with the doctor I still don't know what to feel!! I don't feel pregnant..The only symptom I have are sore boobs but because I don't feel pregnant i feel like it's not real and im just carrying on as normal..lifting heavy things..standing up a ladder painting a ceiling!! DF hasn't mentioned it since Thursday but I know he is worried about me not sleeping and eating. I just feel like we are dancing around the topic at the moment and neither of us wants to bring it up. DF will leave any decision making to me as usual!

 

[sammielou]

It has only been a few days. Give yourself a while longer to let this sink in. It's big, and it is absolutely normal to feel this way. Took me at least 2 weeks to start accepting I was really pregnant, and even after seeing the scan at 13+ weeks it still feels unreal at times.

 

[Amy0801]

Well things are still not getting any easier didn't help that yesterday morning I decided to use my last test just to be doubly sure and it came up 'not pregnant'! I took a pic and sent it to DF who was just as confused as me. I then went and bought a clear blue digi in the afternoon and got 'pregnant 1-2' so I sent a pic of this to DF and his reply was "well your definitely pregnant" and he asked me how I'm feeling about it now. I said I'm still scared but trying to think of the positives. His reply was "we still have options but it will be nice to have another and a brother or sister for DD"!! We both decided to have a 2nd child and I know it's normal to be scared and panic now that it's happening but if he is saying things like this how can I be sure we have made the right decision!! I know things will be difficult with DD as she is autistic but there are plenty of other people in the world who have an autistic child and have other children..how do they manage?!?! Really hope it starts to sink in soon..I hate that I'm not feeling excited

 

[GillM]

Hi Amy, it's completely natural to feel confused and scared over the unknown particularly with your stresses and worries over your son. My son is nearly four and although we planned this pregnancy every day since I got my BFP I ask myself how on earth I'm going to cope. DS has developmental delays and hypermobility which means he has very very few words, has only just learned to walk and it can best be described as a toddle. He's so frustrated lately and has been having the most awful meltdowns I joked to my husband yesterday after a disastrous trip out to a garden centre that it was a one in one out policy when the baby is born - I was only half joking!!! If someone had told you in advance what you would have to go through and experience with your son before you had him I'm guessing you'd have been as stressed as you are now but you went into it with blind positivity and I'm guessing you cope with everyday and it's challenges beautifully. We will cope and we will love having another child - just hold on in there xx