BFing second time round

[trixipaws]

does the fact that i successfully BF my first for 8 months guarantee that i can BF the second? or can an experienced BFer be unable to simply coz of the individual baby?

dont ask me how my brain got on to worrying about this but really FFing before 6 months is just out of the question really, simply because i cannot afford it. new bottles and teats ect are expensive to start, but then how many tins does a newborn go thru in a week. i REALLYYYYYYY need to be able to BF this time even more than last time!

is it a piece of p- if u done it before?

 

[nutcase109]

Im not sure, but Ive been wondering this too recently, so will be following this good question to see what everyone thinks! x

 

[NickyB]

Obviously I can't answer for sure, but it's got to help that at least one of you knows what you're doing, and you know from experience that you can get through the sore bit, and how quickly it goes? Best of luck

 

[Minxy]

Eeeek! I'm not experienced but from anecdotal evidence I don't think there are any gurarantees.

My SIL fed her first (a girl) like a dream until she was 1, but had loads of trouble with her son.

Everyone is different, just as every baby is different. Who knows, it might be tougher but you have the badge of confidence from Millie's babyhood and there's no price on that!

 

[Becky]

I don't think there are any guarantees but I think your chances of succeeding are higher because you're more confident and know what to expect and you are more likely to be relaxed. I certainly felt more relaxed about it because I knew I'd done it once and that if it was hard that I could get through it. DS is definitely a different kind of feeder than DD was which did throw me to start with but it was just a case of learning what he liked etc. and we were off!

 

[valentine]

I have no advice trixi, but am worried about this too.

I guess we do have the benefit of experience and confidence and are maybe more likely (maybe) to cope with the hurdles a bit better and not be tempted to give up?

DD was a brilliant feeder and aside from the first few days, I had very few problems, so am keeping my fingers crossed for another baby who is similar, but am aware this is probably unlikely!

Valentine Xxx

 

[lisa282]

I personally have found it much easier second time around For sure I was far more relaxed and confident in the early days when it is so important to get that latch correct right from the off. It definitely helps if you can get going as soon as possible after birth, it will give you and baby the confidence to continue. With my first I was constantly checking that he was latched on properly and it would take me ages to get comfortable, I became almost paranoid everytime he fed and would tense up, fearing the sore nipples and stuff. But I defnitely think once youve done it successfully with one baby, you are far more confident second time around and just do things naturally without stressing about it. My daughter fed very soon after her birth and we have never had any problems whatsoever with her feeding. I have been so relaxed and comfortable with feeding her, and Ive also lost my fear of feeding in public this time, as Im so much more confident about it and just find it, well, natural 8)

Having said that, I do think it depends on baby too, some feed well and some dont. I was lucky in that I had my tricky one first, he was a lazy feeder and wouldnt always open his mouth wide enough, then he fed every 2 hours for an hour at a time so sleep deprivation was a real problem for me in the early days, but then when I had Eden it was like a dream! Right from the start she has gone at least 3 or 4 hours between feeds and has slept well, giving me the much needed rest that makes all the difference. I think if I had had the kids the other way around and had a dream feeder the first time, I might have stressed a little bit more with the second when it was so difficult, as I probably would have questioned if I was doing something wrong iykwim? Anyway, Im sure you will be fine hun, you know your boobies work well and you know how to latch a baby correctly....that is really all you need to get started...well, plus the baby! x

 

[Urchin]

Personally I also found it fine the second 2 times I did it.

However, my friend found it a breeze first time and is right now in the middle of a total BFing nightmare, so far she's had terrible cracked nipples, thrush, mastitis and a bacterial infection. He son has a REALLY powerful suck and its caused her all sorts of problems.

Saying that, I think she's coping loads better as he's her second and she knows if she can stick with it, it will become easy.

 

[Snuggle]

I'm in the middle of a 'do I dont I breastfeed' dilema at the moment. When I tell people that I would like to breastfeed this baby I get told its too hard and that I will have enough on my plate with 2 kids under 2 and shouldnt give myself the hassle and that I will be tired enough without being the only one who can get up and feed baby etc. I'm really worried about just how hard it would be now and am starting to wonder if breastfeeding will take lots of time away from Maddison as breasffed babies feed more often
Sorry hun, just realised I hijacked your thread to rant about my own breastfeeding worries

 

[valentine]

I'm in the middle of a 'do I dont I breastfeed' dilema at the moment. When I tell people that I would like to breastfeed this baby I get told its too hard and that I will have enough on my plate with 2 kids under 2 and shouldnt give myself the hassle and that I will be tired enough without being the only one who can get up and feed baby etc. I'm really worried about just how hard it would be now and am starting to wonder if breastfeeding will take lots of time away from Maddison as breasffed babies feed more often
Sorry hun, just realised I hijacked your thread to rant about my own breastfeeding worries

Aw Snuggle, I'm really sad to hear you say this. It'd be lovely if you felt able to give it a go and monitor the situation and see if its right for you at the time.

You probably will be feeding more often, I accept this, but there are ways round this (there will also be 22 months between mine so I am in an identical situation), there are slings that are easy to breastfeed in (I've never breastfed in a sling before so this is new to me too), you can introduce cuddle and reading time on the sofa while feeding etc etc. Also, you will be spending more time feeding, but likely getting more sleep due to co-sleeping so more able to deal with Maddison and also a lot less time cleaning and sterilising bottles and making up feeds. Not to mention the money you'd save!

I don't understand the argument (I know this is people telling you this, not your argument) that breastfeeding is more hassle - I think it couldn't be easier - pop them on and get on with things, no fuss. I appreciate it can't seem as easy when you FF last time round, but please keep an open mind and give it a go - you won't regret it, even if you only feed for a short while.

I wish people wouldn't feel like they can stick their noses in on such a personal and individual decision such as this for you and (maybe without meaning to) influence you (edit = sorry, just read that back and that's exactly what I'm doing - silly valentine). You've always said you hoped to breastfeed number 2, and I'm totally rooting for you. I respect its your decision, but I hope you do feel that you can try for a wee while.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Snuggle]

Valentine, I wish I could give you a hug hun I think I need to ignore those that are making me feel like I wouldnt be able to do it and think positive and give it my best shot. Thanks hun, that post was just what I needed

 

[valentine]

Valentine, I wish I could give you a hug hun I think I need to ignore those that are making me feel like I wouldnt be able to do it and think positive and give it my best shot. Thanks hun, that post was just what I needed

I believe in you honey and I think that is definitely what you need - lots of people round you rooting for you. Make sure your OH in particular and your family too are on board and not to keen to suggest you give up or swop to formula if things get tough (especially in those difficult first few weeks due to milk supply issues/nipple confusion etc)

In fact I'd be tempted to not have any formula in the house (there are 24 hour shops if you're desperate), but I know that's easy for me to say.

I'm more than happy to be your breastbuddy if you'd like one.

Valentine Xxx

 

[kiwiswife]

Much easier, my first was term, second almost 2 mo premature, and still no probs feeding, when she had her feeding tube out.

 

[xmcnickyx]

I'm in the middle of a 'do I dont I breastfeed' dilema at the moment. When I tell people that I would like to breastfeed this baby I get told its too hard and that I will have enough on my plate with 2 kids under 2 and shouldnt give myself the hassle and that I will be tired enough without being the only one who can get up and feed baby etc. I'm really worried about just how hard it would be now and am starting to wonder if breastfeeding will take lots of time away from Maddison as breasffed babies feed more often
Sorry hun, just realised I hijacked your thread to rant about my own breastfeeding worries

Stick to your guns! I got a lot of people telling me how bfing is too much hassle because of the amount of times I'd have to feed and all that but I think I'd have rather been sleep deprived than have to do the washing and sterilising that needs to be done. It'll probably be more challenging for the first couple of months than if you were to FF but I reckon in the long run it'll be much less hassle than FF.

Good luck

 

[Mrs_Jay]

Valentine, I wish I could give you a hug hun I think I need to ignore those that are making me feel like I wouldnt be able to do it and think positive and give it my best shot. Thanks hun, that post was just what I needed

I just wanted to tell you that i was in the same boat as you and ended up ff Jack. But I've successfully fed Noah for 4 months so far so it can be done. He has been an easier baby in the sense that we had no latching problems. Good luck hun and I'm always here if you want to chat

And Trix hope you find bfing as easy as you did last time

 

[Fluffy Bunny]

Thats made me think .... here I was just presuming that I'd be able to BF this time round cause I did with Evie. Eek, hope it all goes ok.

Another thought, are you meant to take formula in your hosp bag or do you get given it if needed? It never even occurred to me with Evie cause I was so sure I was going to breastfeed (and actually hadn't read how difficult it can be)

We can do it girls

 

[maybebaby]

I personally found actually feeding ds2 MUCH easier than ds1 . With ds1 I had cracked nipples and had a lot of pain for weeks and it was only sheer pigheadedness (if that's a real word ) that got me through it. This time I had a bit of pain in the first week but nowhere near as bad and it was much easier from day 1.

Having said that it is tricky when you have a toddler to contend with as well. The only times ds1 ever gets jealous of ds2 is when he's feeding. I usually get some books and encourage ds1 to come for a cuddle and a story if he's feeling left out but he still sometimes tries to lie on top of ds2 on my lap, or push his head away from my boob.

The other thing I wasn't prepared for was ds1 asking if he could have some. I stopped breastfeeding ds1 at a year and didn't think he'd want to try, and tbh I wasn't sure how to deal with it. I really wasn't (and I'm still not) comfortable with him trying to breastfeed again and I've felt very guilty about it as he's still so young it wouldn't be odd to still be breastfeeding him now. It's just because I stopped that it's weird for me.

Sorry that turned into a bit of a waffle! In short, I found the actual breastfeeding easier but the juggling two kids difficult. I still wouldn't choose to FF just for convenience though.

 

[Snuggle]

Thank you very much girls, I find it a bit hard to think about at mo because hubby would rather I FF as he thinks BF will take away his bonding time with baby but I have a few months to change his mind

Trix, I'm sorry I took up so much of your thread hun

 

[beanie]

aww snuggle it is shame he thinks that. My oH has never felt bfing has taken away any of his bonding time, if anyhting it has helped him as he has had to do other things with them such as bath them etc whilst I have a rest before I feed them again.

I had a nightmare time feeding Seren and had every problem going so I thought the second time would be a breeze. What I didn't count on was Cally being a very lazy latcher on, and we struggled for a few weeks before she got the hang of it. However breastfeeding Seren meant that I knew what was nomral (i.e. frequent feeding) and that no matter how tough it got I would get through it. It did show me though how different each baby couold be. Seren would feed for about 40 moins at a time and would want a feed every hour and a half, and would cluster feed from 6-11pm some nights. Cally would feed for 5 mins, go longer between feeds and never really cluster fed. I also found breastfeeding helped me to bond with both Seren and Cally in that when I fed Cally Seren would sit next to me and we would read books or sing songs, Seren would also stroke Cally's head when she fed - awwww. Seren did initially play up when I breastfed, but she would have done if I FF too, BFing though meant I had one arm free to do things with her so she soon settled down. Juggling 2 kids and bfing is tough but not impossible.

 

[valentine]

hubby would rather I FF as he thinks BF will take away his bonding time with baby

Aw that's really sad Snuggle - this is a real shame and not true at all in my opinion, I think its really sad when dads say this. They can do plenty more things than just feed and he really should be supporting you. I know it must be easy to stick with FF as that's what you (and he) know, but give it a go, he might be really touched when he sees you breastfeeding.

Valentine Xxx