BF failure

[Dustbunny]

First of all I don't think I've met many of you ladies in the baby/toddler area so hihi.

Apologies in advance this post may be long but I needed to get it all off my chest. I undertsand if you don't want to read my ramblings lol.

I've always been a firm believer of 'breast is best' so when I became pregnant there was never any doubt about me breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong I know formula is necessary for some people, but for me I always said it would only be if a doctor told me I had to.

So from Chloe being 3 weeks old I suspected she had reflux as she had every single symptom, we took her to the doctor who said no no its just colic. We were told to give copied and basically told some babies cry more than others so deal with it. Since then I thought things had settled although thought she didn't seem to feed for long. Turns out to be true we took her to he weighed a week before her 6 week check to find she'd only put on 3ozs since birth.

The health visitors were brilliant and have all rallied together to try and help find out what's wrong. We know that she's only feeding till the first milk stops and refuses to take the hindmilk, she'll pull away and scream and claw at me. I've just seen another doctor for our 6 week check who said straightaway it's reflux and prescribed gaviscon, she also thinks that she's a lazy eater so as it's harder to drink the hindmilk she just refuses. I started expressing all my milk to feed her via bottle but tonight it's become blatantly obvious I can't express enough. Because of the problems with Chloe BF my supply had dwindled significantly and just isn't picking back up.

After much talking and crying I've come to the realisation I need to top up with formula, because she's just not getting the amount she needs.

I feel like such a failure, I've tried so hard to do everything right and part of me feels like I'm giving up too easily even though the breastfeeding counsellors have said it may be wise to top up. I'm now beating myself up and questioning everything I've done, even wondered whether Chloes suffered because I've tried to persevere so much. I've even come to dread feed times because of how traumatic they were, I feel like it was starting to affect our bonding

I just feel so confused right now because of it and the stress of it all is making me ill and unable to eat.

Again I'm really sorry for the long post I just really needed to clear my head, I'm not sure I was even that coherent.

 

[Laineeb]

Hi there, didn't want to read and run. Just wanted to say you are NOT a failure in any way. It's sounds like you have been trying really hard to do the right thing by your LO but sometimes things just don't happen the way you want them to. Breastfeeding can come with some obstacles. You are doing the right thing by getting lots of support from the professionals so you really are doing all you can. I think it just comes to a point where you have to think is all the stress and heartache really worth it. Obviously stress and not eating will affect your milk supply and your baby. You don't want to ruin these first special months by feeling miserable. I'm not saying give up BF I'm just saying don't beat yourself up if you do decide to, you've done really well to get this far xx good luck xx

 

[Saisb]

Hey,
I felt the same as you, always wanted to breast feed, but my milk was very late coming in and I have never had enough milk to satisfy my daughter, so had no choice but to top up with formula. I still expresses as much as I can and offer the breast as much as poss too, but she used to get angry and terribly upset too which effected us both. I have now accepted that she will be a formula fed babe, being topped up with my milk. It was very hard to accept and has only really been the past couple of days I've been ok with it. I know that I tried my hardest and tried everything to make it work, and it sounds like you are doing the same. My health visitor made me realise that I was making our lives all about feeding, which is a very important factor, but is not the only thing which is important to babes. Having a happy mummy is d
Super important, I promise it will get easier, whatever happens, you do need to take care if yourself, start eating lots again and drinking plenty. Having spoken to friends, who were also unable to breast feed, they maintained skin to skin whilst giving bottles, and I have to say it's really helped to make me feel I'm not completely missing out. Bottles felt clinical and remote from buns, but they don't have to be at all. The best thing is she is super happy, gaining plenty of weight, which is perfect. I hope this helps, I promise it will get easier get easier whatever happens, try to give yourself a break, you will give BF everything you have to work, and because of that you can cut yourself some slack!

Lots of hugs, and your never a failure. Now go and eat some chocolate!
X x

 

[Lulabell]

You are not a failure at all! You are doing the best for your LO. Regarding expressing. Try doing it as often as possible even if only a little comes out. The more you do it the more your body thinks it needs to produce. My HV told me it takes 3 days for your body to catch up. But if you decide on formula alone then that's fine too. Don't ever feel bad. A happy baby and a happy mum is all that matters. x

 

[Maria1977]

Please don't feel like a failure, you have done amazing! It must've been completely draining, frustrating, upsetting and soul destroying.

Will your LO take the hind milk now? If she is happy to try putting her to the breats as much as possible, it is possible to re-establish supply. It's not easy going but it can be done, if it is something you would be interested in trying contact your local BFing support team, they are wonderful and they will help you.

It is impossible to solely pump and maintain a supply as pump cannot mimic baby, and messages go via babies saliva, which obviously pumps can't do, so supply will stop eventually as boobs can't be tricked!!

If you want to carry on purely FF there is nothing wrong with that. You done amazing with the horrendous start that you had.

Don't beat yourself up and do what makes you happy because then your LO will be happy too and she has been through alot too bless her.

xxxxxxxx

 

[Mrs. KM]

You are absolutely not a failure! I have been going through low supply issues as well. At first I was devastated, but when we saw my doctor he sid he feels there is way too much pressure on moms to BF and formula really is as good as it gets to the next best thing. He said the most important thing is that Mom is happy and then baby will be happy too. So take care of yourself, and just do what you think is right.

How did you figure out she had reflux! We have just noticed that our LO seems to be in pain and spits up or vomits after she has breast milk, but we always do one feeding a day when she just has formula (usually I feed her then top her up with formula and then I pump), and she never spits up and is so happy.

Anyway, good luck, and lots of hugs! Xx

 

[jojo_2012]

When baby just won't take any more breast try to top up with formula, but then also express your milk. If you do this after every feed then eventually your milk + flow could catch up to the point you can chuck away the formula, also you'll have a supply of breast milk to give in the meantime.

I don't think doctors are a good source of advice for breastfeeding, they wouldn't even be in my top 10 go to people for advice to be honest with you I'd rather ask a cleaning lady's opinion.

 

[pinkyprincess]

Nothings a failure if it's keeping your LO happy and healthy!

Defo keep up expressing/bfing as much as you can for as long as you can, don't feel bad about topping up

 

[Dustbunny]

Awww thank you so much everyone you really have made me feel a little calmer about things, though I'm still really frustrated by it.

I did speak to a breastfeeding counsellor who runs a support group who has persuaded me (get nervous meeting new people) to go next time I take Chloe for a weigh. I had always thought you couldn't purely express too however she told me she has 2 ladies in the group who do, so a little confused.

I did give her two feeds last night with formula and found because I wasn't stressing about having to get enough ozs I managed to get 3ozs every 2 hours nstead of the 1oz I had been getting. Surprising how many problems stress can cause huh?

Mrs. KM - Chloes symptoms were spitting up/possetting after almost every feed, lots of hiccupping, arching her back during feeds, very gassy, painful screeching cries during feeds...the list goes on

 

[Sarah13]

Your def not a failure, sounds like you have been trying to do every thing possible and doing the right thing by going to the support groups.
I didn't manage to read through all the replies so sorry if Im repeating stuff! Have you tried taking fenugreek to boost your supply? It worked really well for me as I have a greedy boy who I struggle to keep up with! Your right about stress, it really can cause problems. I think there are a couple of ladies on here who mainly express, ISH is one of them so she might have so good tips. I was also told to wear breast shells by a bf support worker as they can boost supply not sure if they worked for me though. If you can manage pumping when feeding increases supply too as it tricks your body into thinking you have twins and drink while you are feeding. I used to express after each feed to get that last bit of hind milk out, could only get about an ounce but saved it up during the day to give at night when Kynon would still take a bottle, he refuses now!
Hopefully something will work and you can drop the formula in a few days if you want to and feel happy to do so x
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

 

[Dustbunny]

Thank you Sarah. I've heard about fenugreek before but have no clue where to buy it or even what it is.

Chloe is still struggling at the breast but is loving ebm. Just wish my supply would increase but it still doesn't seem to be. I'm trying not to give up hope but just wondering how long I can keep this up for.

 

[l_maclean]

If she's struggling at the breast have you tried shields?? G's latch is awful, they've been a god send to us, couldnt feed without them. Xxx

 

[Dustbunny]

See it isn't really her latch that's the problem. She has an excellent latch to start with then pulls away because of the reflux and laziness. Do you still think the shields would be worth a try?

 

[l_maclean]

I thought georgia was being lazy at the beginning and the sheilds definitely helped. they might be worth a try if au natural isnt quite working, xxx

 

[Mrs. KM]

THanks for the reflux info! Is it better when you ff? I hope you are doing well! I think the worst thing is the guilt we feel when things don't go as we expected. The main thing is that you and baby are happy! Xx

 

[jojo_2012]

Thank you Sarah. I've heard about fenugreek before but have no clue where to buy it or even what it is.

for.

holland and barreett, to up your supply

 

[Dustbunny]

Ooh I may have to look into nipple shields then and fenugreek will definately be on my shopping list. Thank you so much for the info.

I don't know that the reflux is better with formula but it definately seems better when she's bottle fed either with ebm or the odd formula feed I give. I think because she's slightly upright and it's not for as long so it's not as uncomfortable for her.

Xxx

 

[Dustbunny]

YAAAAAY

finally at her weigh in today we've had a significant weight gain. So significant in fact they checked her again to make sure the scales were correct. So she has gone from 8lb12oz to 9lb14oz in ONE week. So so happy right now and slighly less unhappy about the fact I need to give some feeds as formula

 

[Mrs. KM]

Glad to hear she has gained! Have you tried taking fenugreek? I just started taking it and think it may be working. Hope things are improving for you!

 

[Dustbunny]

Thanks Mrs.K. Fenugreek is on my shopping list but haven't managed to get to a shop to buy any yet.