Bed routine advice please

[mermaid]

Since 6 wks old, Fin has fed to sleep. Now he is bigger, it is hard to get him to sleep both night and day. If I put him in the cot awake he screams and I don't know what to do now at this stage. Any help would be great. Especially if you have overcome this problem of feeding to sleep. Fin is 5 months and I read that from 6 months you can start the controlled crying thing, so I'm not sure about that?

 

[LucyBee]

Hi Mermaid,
We have been in exactly the same position as you. Tom was not just used to being fed to sleep but I also used to cuddle him and rock him and put him down once he was asleep in my arms.
We got to a point a couple of weeks ago where AS SOON AS I put him in his cot he would scream and scream until I picked him up again. It was taking me an hour an a half to settle him.
Then he would wake up constantly throughout the night. It was a nightmare as none of us were getting any sleep.
So...last Monday night we tried the 'crying down' technique which is ok to use under 6 months. We left him to cry but went in after one minute to reassure him but NOT pick him up. Then we went in after 2 mins then 10 mins, then 20 mins. It took an hour of constant crying and it was HEARTBREAKING. I think you have to really prepare yourself and make absolutely sure that once you've started, you're consistent and you don't give in.
On the second night, he cried for half an hour. On the third night, he cried for an hour again (and I cried for most of that hour too). On the fourth night he cried for 8 minutes and on the fifth he cried for about 10 seconds!
I now bath him, cuddle him and stroke his hair and then put him down awake and he is absolutely fine. He is sleeping so much better and we are all happier as a result.
I know some people are against using this technique and so was I but I can honestly say it's hard but it works and we're all happier as a result.
GOOD LUCK!
Lucy x

 

[Lynsey]

Thanks LucyBee, that's really good to know how you handled it! We have the same situation as Mermaid in that Jacob won't go to sleep unless he is cuddled. We then have to make sure he is fast asleep before we put him down in his cot or he instantly wakes up again as soon as he touches the mattress. It can take up to half an hour to get him down sometimes which is knackering . I know this can't go on as he is nearly 7 months so I might give your advice a go. I just have to find the strength Ahhrrrrr!!

 

[mermaid]

Thanks Lucy, that is good to know as Tom is the same age as Fin too. I may have to try this technique then. I have been very weary of it but it obviously works in the long run. I have had another terrible morning of Fin not settling today and he has just gone off to sleep in his swing! Something has to change as I am dreading every sleep time now.

 

[LucyBee]

Hi girls,
I feel for you both. Lynsey - it was taking me over an hour to get Tom off. I'd cuddle him to sleep, put him down and he'd scream straight away so I'd cuddle him to sleep, put him down and he'd scream and so on and so on until we were both knackered.
The crying thing is SO hard so prepare yourself. On the first night, I got Ali to sit upstairs and do the checking/reassuring because he doesn't find the crying as distressing as I do. I sat downstairs and turned the telly up and went in to denial.
After that, I just thought it's a question of being cruel to be kind as he wasn't getting decent sleep either plus I do think it's important that he learns to settle himself.
If you decide to go for it then GOOD LUCK. Remember to be consistent. Don't give up half way through, you have to stick with it.
Now I put Tom down awake and, on average, he cries for about 10 seconds and then he's settled and fine.
It worked for us.
Lucyx

 

[Lynsey]

Thanks LucyBee, I will let you know how I get on

 

[Mice_Elf]

Oh I feel for you - we had to do this. My LO used to sleep right through from 9pm to 8:30am from a very early age. Unfortunately we moved house when she was 16 weeks old and it all went to pot.

Initially we thought it was because we'd moved, so I put up with the renewed waking up all night. We kept her bedtime routine exactly the same but she still woke up. It was so sporadic as well that it was hard to rely on. Sometimes she awaken every half an hour, sometimes she'd stretch to as much as 2 hours of sleep. After a while, I was so tired with the broken sleep that we needed to do something.

She was approaching 6 months and she wasn't hungry as when I picked her up, she fed for all of 2 - 3 minutes and then was asleep again. Plus she had been sleeping through before we moved. We even put her on solids to see if that would work. It didn't.

By now my partner was sleeping in the spare room just to get some sleep for work!

We eventually tried the controlled checking technique. I'd already started it a couple of weeks earlier for the daytime naps and it went really well, so I hoped that night time would be easier.

Like the PP, I'd put her down awake and then after 1 minute, go back, pat her back and say "sshhh, sleep time" and then go again. After 2 minutes the same thing, then 3 minutes, then 4 minutes, then 5, then 6 etc. I was told to never leave a baby this young crying for more than 10 minutes, so after checking on her at 10 minutes, I just kept it around that time and checked every 10 minutes. I'll add here that I was still in the room (which I realise now may not have helped, if she could smell the milk on me), she just couldn't see me.

The first night it took 1 hr and 20 minutes to settle her but she slept until 4am!! I was so tired that I didn't think and picked her up to feed her at that point, where she fed for just a tiny time and then asleep again until 8.30. Bliss!

The 2nd night, it took 20 minutes to settle her and while she woke up at 3:30am, she simply grizzled and after afew seconds, she put herself back to sleep.

The 3rd night she settled without me needing to go back - I think we had about 15 seconds of grizzle and then she was asleep and she slept through until 8:30am.

So first night was really hard, but this technique worked for us really well. There are other techniques though and it's whatever you feel comfortable using.