bad feeling

[natashateale]

My partner told me this evening that the reason hes not excited about baby is because he has a bad feeling that he cant explain.
I feel fine, usual symptoms but fine and I eat mostly healthy I take folic acid and told him that it seems fine so far but he says he has a bad feeling and doesnt want to get excited. Which has made me feel crap and not wanting to mention baby.
I guess we will just has to wait for a midwife appointment and a scan

 

[Terri1884]

Aww Hun that's defo something u don't want to hear! Especially from nearest and dearest!! I really hope all is well ((hugs))

 

[jen9984]

Aww poor you. I wouldn't worry too much - I spent most of the first month with a bad feeling too, and found it hard to be excited. Once I hit about week 8, I started to get a bit of confidence that everything would be ok.

I'm sure your OH will perk up - these things can be a shock and I know after our initial excitement at the BFP, we found it hard to really be just happy until we knew everything was ok

 

[SarahCarps2be]

Don't panic.

I think it's a natural thing for men to have a bad feeling..

When I got my BFP, even though we had agreed not to use anything but not actively TTC, if it happened it happened kinda thing... He still didn't realise I would get pregnant and had mixed feelings for AGES.

It really upset me but theres nothing I could do about it, as soon as we had the midwife and the scan he began to get excited..

Men just find it hard to express their feelings...

Chin up chick, don't get stressed about it!

 

[FirstBabyEek]

I had mixed feelings too, like SarahCarps2be, we weren't being careful nor were we actively trying. We literatlly had just decided and I fell pregnant first time we dtd unprotected, a mixture of timing and prayers answered.

BUT we both had mixed feelings for ages, then when we had got our heads round it I had a bad feeling for weeks until my 12 week scan. I think the bad feeling is actually an deep underlying desire that you actually already love the little life growing inside you. So although it sounds a bit negative of him - I'd take it as a good sign, he's just not good at vocalising his feelings.

xx

 

[Leah04x]

It was exactly the same for me and my OH too! Try not to get too stressed about it, it's a natural for him to be feeling this way.. As soon as the 12 week scan comes along, it all becomes real to them and they start to relax! xx

 

[natashateale]

thankyou everyone, it was just a shock becauce we were actively trying for over a year so I didnt expect this at all. Hopefully he will pick up

 

[julianne]

Hi Natasha - like you guys we were also actively trying for a while- over 18 months - and had had appointments with the fertility specialists etc. But we managed to do it ourselves! I think we were both in a state of shock for a few weeks after getting a pos test because we honestly thought we were going to need help. I was shocked we were shocked if you know what I mean.

My hubby , like yours, almost body swerved the fact we were pregnant in the very early weeks. It was a self preservation measure though kinda like just preparing himself that it might not all be ok. I was the same too in some respects. As time ticks on though, the bad feeling will move over and you will be able to talk about your baby together all the time.

xx

 

[natashateale]

Thanks julianne
Me and my partner spoke again tonight about it. Igot abit out of him. He said hes scared that things will be as baf a last time. Now last time went well so I was confused when he said this but he turns out he means me getting postnatal depression. I have been over that for about 18months now and I see were he is coming from. Anyway this time around we are in a much better position as last time we didnt live with each other so I did alot of the work. So I think that gives me a fighting chance. Also just because I had it once doesnt mean I will get it again dors it? I know I am of higher risk and he also knew this when we started trying
. He seemed to be alot better aftet the talk tbh and said he is excited

 

[Karate Kid]

I can relate hun, we were TTC and I got my BFP after our third month of trying. Don't get me wrong both hubby and I were happy but not extatic.... I think for hubby it was a 'I am going to have to step up and provide' moment and for me it was a 'I don't think I have what it takes to be a good mother'.

The night before our 12 week scan I was sick with worry and I soon realised that no matter what hubby and I will get through this together and that I loved our baby more than anything in this world.

Give him a bit more time and I am sure he will be so excited. As much as I complain about my hubby I cannot begin to imagine how much pressure he is under because he doesn't want to worry me....xx

 

[babyem]

It sounds like hes really worried about you and LO. Im sure he will relax abit once you have had scans etc x

 

[Laura1391]

Ahh hun my OH was exactly the same...we had one scare before and it wasnt until we had our 12 week scan that he actually believed it! I think they just find it harder to come to terms with and its out of their hands im sure once you have the first scan he will come round and be happy although men will be men and its only today that my OH felt my stomach properly lol!! xxx