Baby or not to baby...

[Elfs Mummy]

My uncle is 50 and has two young children with his 30 year old wife, personaly growing up with this as the norm i don't see age as an issue. Im 19 living with my parents and expecting a little girl, with babies no time is ever right but personaly feeling my little one move around and kick me and seeing her on the screen its the most amazing feeling in the world and i couldn't ever give her up. I did however look into termination as my mum wanted al the options i only had to look out side and watch them dispose of a baby to know it wasn't for me. In the end it's your desision but i would suggest looking into every option.

 

[meshe]

Im 8-9 weeks, im going for a dating scan on Friday so should be a bit clearer then, am actually excited to find out

I think my mind is pretty made up, im just hoping the OH is sure too, he said he thinks we should go ahead and I really think with all the umming and ahhing that clearly we arent sure we would want to get rid of it, its just a timing thing, like people say, there is always going to be some excuse as to why its not the right time

Am nervous as having the genetic testing done and am worried that with the little extra clarity I have on the situation and thinking I may go ahead, that it will come back that the defective gene is prominant and the choice will pretty much be taken away from us, but will have to wait and see x

 

[FallingStar]

Glad you and OH seem to be a little clearer in your head about what you want.. congrats
And as for the genetic testing, yup.. you're absolutely right, just a wait and see situation. Lots of those when you're preggers.. drives me nuts xx

 

[missymiamoo]

I'd been with my OH for a mere 2 months when I got pregnant (unplanned of course) - a lot of tears, panic and general misery followed but I found an unplanned pregnancy councilling service in my area and found it really helpful talking to an impartial 3rd party face to face about it. I wrote a list of pros and cons for keeping it and then sat chatting to this woman for about an hour about all the things on my list and every aspect of my life, my OH's and our relationship and it helped clear my mind a lot. I then spoke to my best friend about it (I knew I could talk to her confidentially, without any judgement) - she'd had a baby at 16 and gave me the wise advice that "you will cope..because you have to". That sort of put it in perspective - if people in much much worse situations then ours manage, why couldn't we? So finally I had a long chat with the OH and after a few days going through all our options, we decided to keep it.

I've never been broody, hadn't really considered having kids and so suddenly finding out I was pregnant was a massive shock. And scary as hell too - i'm 31 yet the responsibility of looking after a tiny person seemed (and still seems) absolutely mind blowing and what the hell would this do to a relationship that had been going on for such a short time?! Luckily, I've now got over the shock and am (although still petrified) used to the fact that life's going to change...and my OH and I are finding that this is bringing us a lot closer together. We still worry about things like money, and know that some people are disapproving of us keeping the baby when we've been together such a short time, but neither of us are kids and we know what we want from a relationship so even before this happened we knew we'd found something worth hanging on to.

Anyway, my point is, that you've only just learnt this monumental and life changing news. You're going to feel scared, panicy, worried about timing/money/a million other things...but that's totally normal. There's always going to be something that in the back of your mind makes you think "this isn't the right time", whether you've been together 2 months or 10 years, so don't make any rash choices - give yourself a bit of time to adjust to the news. If you've always wanted children and don't like the thought of abortion maybe you've subconsciously already made up your mind.

Good luck in whatever choice you make,
Mia
xx

 

[meshe]

Thanks chick, much appreciated, I do think we have made a decision, so all based on everything being ok then we will go ahead, definately scary though but its always going to be and i do think the happiness and optimism im feeling about a change of direction in my life is a very good thing.

Just hoping these tests go ok, basically we have a genetic issue that, if baby is male, will have a 1/2 chance of contracting, so we need to find that out as, due to the nature of it, we wouldnt want to proceed on the basis of we feel it wouldnt be fair on the baby to come into the world that way. Really very much have fingers crossed that that wont be the case as now I have got used to the idea, i will be gutted xx