Hi, i am new to the forum, joined last week and hope you dont mind me posting on here. I have 2 daughters already so im not new to this but however, i have never been so nervous of every twinge, pain or tummy ache. You see, last april my sister went into labour at 20 weeks and her little girl Caitlyn was stillborn. Before this she had a misscarriage at 6 weeks but then had 2 healthy boys. In July this year after she had been through a very nervy pregnancy, we thought she was ok but at 24 weeks she went into labour again, i witnessed the birth of my beautiful niece Faye. She survived for 16 hours but sadly gave up her fight the next day due to a bleed on the brain. I held this tiny little cute person after she had died and thats something i'll never forget.
This is why im so nervous now, if she had 2 normal births, so have i, surely the same could happen to me, she has been given no reason for the deaths of her daughters.
I also feel so guilty, she knows how i feel as we are very close and she has also told me that she too feels guilty because she feels like she cant get excited for me. Of course she cant and this is something i totally respect and understand. Many people who i have told about the pregnancy have said "ahh well done, how has your sister taken it all, i bet shes devestated" and i think, yeh i feel really bad without you rubbing it in. When Faye died i said i would stop trying for a baby and she told me no way-not to be silly.
I suppose i just needed to get all this off my chest. Its been a terrible couple of years, in 2004 i split up with my husband and never thought i would get the chance to have another child, so now we are back together, this pregnancy is really important to me. In may this year my best friend of 21 years was murdered and i dont have her here to be happy for me. So many things have gone wrong im terrified its my turn to lose this baby. I wish i could sleep until that 12 week scan so i'll know if everything is ok.
Sorry to go on and on, but really needed to get that off my chest.
Thanks for listening
Claire
This is why im so nervous now, if she had 2 normal births, so have i, surely the same could happen to me, she has been given no reason for the deaths of her daughters.
I also feel so guilty, she knows how i feel as we are very close and she has also told me that she too feels guilty because she feels like she cant get excited for me. Of course she cant and this is something i totally respect and understand. Many people who i have told about the pregnancy have said "ahh well done, how has your sister taken it all, i bet shes devestated" and i think, yeh i feel really bad without you rubbing it in. When Faye died i said i would stop trying for a baby and she told me no way-not to be silly.
I suppose i just needed to get all this off my chest. Its been a terrible couple of years, in 2004 i split up with my husband and never thought i would get the chance to have another child, so now we are back together, this pregnancy is really important to me. In may this year my best friend of 21 years was murdered and i dont have her here to be happy for me. So many things have gone wrong im terrified its my turn to lose this baby. I wish i could sleep until that 12 week scan so i'll know if everything is ok.
Sorry to go on and on, but really needed to get that off my chest.
Thanks for listening
Claire
welcome to the forum.
Typical with my 1st my scan was 11 weeks, my second was 10 weeks but this one will be spot on 12 weeks!!
