At my wits end

[knopk@]

I just dont know what to do anymore, i feel that i have failed as a parent. A is a horrible sleeper and no sleep training is getting us anywhere.
I have been sticking to the routine but he makes it impossible - he fights it so much that he misses sleeps completely and then the routine goes to hell. Its been 2 weeks since i started putting him in his cot but its not getting any better - he still wants the boob to go to sleep.
I cant rock him, he is so heavy too.

I wont be able to put him into care, he is horrible when it comes to self settling.

I am thinking of booking an appointment with the doctor - i think there is something wrong with him

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[pinkyprincess]

Don't feel bad it's not your fault I haven't really got any advice as I haven't got the best sleeper in the world!

What does he do at night? Tyler's started pushing the boob away so I just leave him moaning (not crying) sometimes he goes off himself others half hour/45 mind later I have to go fees him off

 

[knopk@]

Don't feel bad it's not your fault I haven't really got any advice as I haven't got the best sleeper in the world!

What does he do at night? Tyler's started pushing the boob away so I just leave him moaning (not crying) sometimes he goes off himself others half hour/45 mind later I have to go fees him off

He generally kicks and screams and tries to get to the boob. Kicks the dummy/comforter and screams. Not just moans. If i put him to bed awake, he will potter about until he starts moaning, then screaming and then he works humself up in a state.
I am just so tired. I cant leave him.to.CIO, it wont work either

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[pinkyprincess]

No I agree I couldn't CIO

I dunno what else to suggest I'm afraid!

 

[knopk@]

I know,i have tried it all hun. I have asked for help of nursery nurses but they left me a voicemail once and after me calling back couple of times, they havent got back to me.
I think i need to see a neurologist

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[pinkyprincess]

Have u tried the edinburgh sleep lady I think she does phone/email consultations.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

First of all, you need to calm down.. He can sense your tension..
Have a wind down hour before bedtime.. Dim lights.. Low sounds and no toys.. Lots of cuddles if needs be in a blanket..
Then try and get him to sleep..x

 

[knopk@]

I have blackout blinds, we have bathtie routine, nappy free time, massage and book before bed. I also have a slumber bear, lightshow. You name it, I have it.

I am seriously considering paying someone.
Never heard of Edinburgh lady, does she do over the phone consultations? I think you need to see how he behaves to understand...

 

[katie_lou]

Hun I really can't offer any advice as am the same with ruby at the min and it's horrible , I just want to give u a big hug as I know what's its like xxx

 

[knopk@]

JM, I am a calm person normally but I really dont know what to do. Something just isnt right, maybe he is just overactive/hyper

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Has he cut any teeth yet? Lily had a bad couple of night mon and tues and I realized I hadn't put her amber anklet on.. Put it back on and she's doing well..
It could be a growth spurt? It's so hard when you just don't know what's wrong with your child or what do to make things better I know how frustrating and upsetting it can be.. Just gotta keep your cool as much as possible, I know its hard... I've been in tears countless times with my older two for different reasons.. And I knew there was nothing I could do about Ellie's reflux.. Heartbreaking. Have a good cry babe it always takes some tension off me when I'm finding things hard.. I don't know what else to suggest if you have everything and done everything.. Maybe it's all too much? Have you tried keeping everything basic? No comforter toys, lightshows and books ,massages etc..? Sometimes you can overdo it u know?? I had it all with Jaycee too and nothing worked but a simple bath and cuddle! Ellie had a plain coloured mobile and lily doesn't even have a mobile! Jaycee was very much over stimulated.. Lily is probably under stimulated but sleeps well and a naturally chilled baby (thank god!!)
Hopefully you'll get a break soon hun

 

[Mrs N]

First of all you are not a bad mum at all, you care and to me that means that you are a fab mum already!! Secondly babies that sleep badly are meant to be intellegent so he is more interested in the world than sleep!! Thirdly just a suggestion (dunno if it will work) but have you tried giving him a comforter while you feed him for a week or so and see if he associates it with mummy comfort?? i did this with some music when H was tiny and it worked but dunno if that was just coz he was little??
xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

^^ lily always has her blanket when she has naps and I always had it on her when I would feed her to sleep.. It's worked for us.. Worth a shot?

 

[knopk@]

He has a comforter, i even wore it on me, then i realised he needs something bigger to cuddle and switched to teddy. Teddy comes out only at bed time now and he cuddles teddy but teddy doesnt have boobs haha.
I can see him trying to suck his fingers etc but it just doesnt comfort him, he does those silent screams iykwim.
JM, he doesnt of course have everything at once, its just things i have tried and they havent worked.

I do bath, massage/lotion on - two times a day anyway cause of eczema, wind down and bottle/boob.
The problem is he wants to stay on the boob until he falls asleep, if i dont let him - screams blue murder.
Trust me, i know what it is to deal with reflux, have done that but this is just total dependence on the breast as a comforter.

He will probably grow out of it, its just i am so tired of not being able to do anything/have time with DH

Dont get me wrong, he is a very bright and active baby, he just doesnt stop exploring, constantly on the move. But he is very smiley and sociable at the same time, he looks like a perfect baby until i try to put him to sleep.

I did try to stay at home and less stimulation, its much worse, i go mad cause he gets bored very quickly.
I do think i need him to get checked out, just in case

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[Belfast girl]

you are not a bad mum. sounds like you have tried everything!

try giving the edinburgh sleep lady a call. she helped 2 of my friends, just over the phone. they were at their wits end as well! i'm not sure how she did it though! she might be quite pricey

hey and i don't know if i believe the whole nature v nuture thing. a friend of mine has twins and she does the same thing with both of them, one sleeps really well, the other doesn't.sleep.at.all.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I didn't mean you give them all at once, I meant trying a diff thing too quick after the last might not help..
Have you tried expressing and giving him a bottle for his last feed solely? So he's not so dependent on breast for that final feed?
If its getting distressing then defo see a hv or gp for your own piece of mind and some advice.. Does he have a dummy? If he's sucking his fingers etc then he may just be a sucky baby..? I don't know what else to suggest

 

[knopk@]

I didn't mean you give them all at once, I meant trying a diff thing too quick after the last might not help..
Have you tried expressing and giving him a bottle for his last feed solely? So he's not so dependent on breast for that final feed?
If its getting distressing then defo see a hv or gp for your own piece of mind and some advice.. Does he have a dummy? If he's sucking his fingers etc then he may just be a sucky baby..? I don't know what else to suggest

He is combi fed so I give him a bottle before bed. Its not hunger, its comfort. He is a sucky baby but wont take a dummy. AT ALL.

I have really tried everything, HVs dont know what to do.

Belfast girl, do you have ladies number/email please?

 

[Belfast girl]

She has a website - its thesleeplady.co.uk I'd be really interested in how you get on if you decide to use her. Oh and neither of the girls who used her had to use CIO. Good luck!

 

[prettypenguin]

How old is he? Charlie's crawling and walking round (aided) and I've noticed if he takes lots of walks and crawls and especially if he's outside he sleeps better. I don't know what to suggest really, Charlie is very curious and is constantly nosying on things and wants to know how stuff works,absolutely loves life but unless he has a pitch black room and his own bed and milk he is murder and won't sleep in the day. Hope things get better very soon it's so hard isnt it xxx

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[knopk@]

He is 9.5 months, he is exploring everything and loves cruising around.I do take him to play groups etc.

Just read the website, he is pretty much a description of silent reflux