as always - need your advice. UPDATE pg 2

[flexilexi394]

Those of you a few weeks ago may have seen my post in girlies room about the abusive work collegue . . . . this is a bit of a continuation.

I am due to go on mat leave in just under 3 weeks time.

I had a huge row with a work collegue a couple of weeks ago - he doesnt do anything so i told him off and he came back at me with abusive language and calling my unborn baby every name under the sun. I didnt retaliate or swear at him or anything.

Well yesterday i got a letter from my work calling a disciplinary hearing this thursday at 12pm. On these being what i did wrong:
Breach in confidence
Use of mobile phone during work hours
Abusive behaviour towards a collegue.

I cant believe they are doing this to me. Our work environment consists of a tiny team of 8 and we all get on really well, and we all use our phones, including the manager who is chairing this meeting. So im extremely shocked they have gone down this route.

The breach in confidence thing is im guessing, someone went up to my manager asking whether the boy that was nasty to me was getting sacked. I did not discuss this with the lady that approached my manager at all, so actually i havent done anything wrong.

I have been told by 3 members of staff that this so called manager is actually asking all the staff to write down if they can recall any times i have spoken about the argument. A few gym members have also approached me saying my manager has been openly discussing it with them - NOT MY DOING, HERS.

Im thinking of going to the doctors tomorrow and getting signed off for stress. ive always enjoyed my job, i have been there the longest out of everyone there now, and i find it too convenient that they are trying to push me out! typical as im about to go on maternity leave - i guess they are trying to get out of paying me.

So what should i do guys? Help!!

As usual its a long one

 

[inky]

definitely speak to your citizens advice bureau, but for starters try to write down everything you can remember about who you've spoken to, when, and what was said. Always make sure that you make a note of anything relating to the incident from here on in too. In the meantime, keep your cool, and do whatever is asked of you - don't give them any ammo!! CAB is definitely your first port of call though!

God some people really are shitty aren't they?!!

 

[Sam's Mum]

If that's what they're trying to do and you've done nothing wrong I wouldn't let them get away with it. Write down everything that went on and when, and I'm sure others will back you up that you haven't spoken about anything (can you be disciplined for talking to others about abuse happening to you though?! Or even about someone being fired?) I can't imagine they could sack you over use of your phone either. Any employer who even thinks about taking any sort of action against a pregnant woman is mad though, as the chance of them winning if you take them to court for unfair dismissal is pretty low. Can't believe they're doing this to you though

x

 

[charliebear]

I agree with everything Inky said. Get to CAB!
Especially writing down who you know your manager has talked too. Now that is a beach of confidence especially as she was asking gym members.

 

[titch]

Its okay hun, youve got a hearing so fight back. Firstly the breach of confidence; if I remember correctly, someone else was in the room at the time of his phone call, so you couldnt have kept it quiet really eh?! Just say that you were very upset after the incident and so talked to the people around you at the time. about using a mobile phone, dont deny it, but emphasie that mobile phones are commonly used around the office and if they discipline you for this you would consider it discriminatory unless they discipline all staff who are using mobile. (use the word 'discriminatory' this scares the s**t out of them!) as for abusive behaviour, all you can do is write down exactly what happened when you spoke to this guy about him not working. Its your word against his

I have a feeling you can easily win this hearing, so dont let them get away with it.

 

[flexilexi394]

sweet thanks girls, and yeah Tiny there was a collegue there when we had the argument on the phone anyway so like you say, impossible to keep quiet, and i have not gone round telling people! ive had some people approach me asking what happened! so unprofessional. i think they are bloody stupid for trying to do that to me. what im gonna do is speak to CAB tomorrow, have my hearing, and maybe get signed off after the hearing for stress. its not on, i really dont need it and as much as it shouldnt get to me, it is. i just want to go to bed and have a cry to be honest, cant really be bothered for all the drama!
Im surprised they are doing this too, cant see why they would want to open those doors for themselves. makes no sense. x

 

[Sam's Mum]

 

[flexilexi394]

thanks sams mum, i kinda need hugs sometimes x

 

[titch]

lots and lots of hugs for you hun youre right, you might be stressed and upset by this, but they should be bricking it, theyre treading on thin ice!

 

[Mamafy]

I hope the hearing goes well hun

 

[vixforever]

I agree with Inky xxx

 

[frankie707]

What a rubbish situation for you! Dont have anything more to add than what the girls have said already but just wanted to say good luck for the hearing and dont let them get away with it!

 

[pinkymum]

Nothing more to add either but I hope it goes ok Hun! Big hugs!!!!

 

[flexilexi394]

Thanks girls. Think I'm gonna head to the doctors this morning as I just don't know how to face work! I really feel like I can't go, and really don't want to go either. Ive never felt that way about work, guess there's a first time for everything. X

 

[Rowesb]

Big I can only guess that the w****r has put in a complaint in retaliation, you have done nothing wrong so I bet they are just going through the motions they have to be see to be doing. Hope it goes ok with the dr, and can u get to the cba today? X


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[flexilexi394]

Yeah probably can get there today, I just feel like I can't go and face the music if that makes sense, I don't want to be in any unnecessary pressure and I feel I am being pu in a lot of pressure! I don't get stressed that easily, but I feel like shut because of it hope the doctor can help me, and I he won't sign me off at least advise me. X

 

[Rowesb]

How did it go with the dr hun?


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[sexyamy2005]

hope ur ok hun,

some employers are so stupid, like every1s said trying to start things like this with a pregnant employer is shooting them selfs in the foot,

hope the docs helped

xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

Well......went to doctors and he signed me off for 3 weeks! Which takes me up to my leave! Thank f**k I don't have to set foot in there again.
I rang my manager and told her that I have visited the doctor and he has signed me off due to unnecessary stress at work and I've never heard someone shot themselves so much.
The hearing on Thursday she just said to me will be an informal one, over coffee apparently! She decided that after I told her I've been signed off. Result! I said to her about worrying of being sacked and she guaranteed me she isn't sacking me. so feel a lot better already. The doctor was great. Spoken to someone from a massive firm in HR dept and they are advising me, all pretty cushty so far. So now I have an extra 3 weeks off which I'm going to try and enjoy! X

 

[megsmeadow]

Oh jeese, glad you're getting a bit of support but really rediculous disciplinary if you ask me. I'd also make sure you have someone with you for any meeting, informal or not!! As far as I'm aware this can be someone from outside work. I'd also get them to put in writing the outcome of the meeting. My manager in notorious for making 'notes' and half of it is put away in files and we don't know what is being written about it!
Hope is goes well and I hope you can relax for the next few weeks!