Arguements with OH

[flopsybunny]

Why can men be so insensitive?! They say something and then blame you when you react! Grrr!! And then he leaves a dramatic comment hanging and goes out leaving me to stew and fume and cry not with upset, but just with frustration! Why is it never his fault? Why is it always my fault?!

xx

 

[LouiseB]

Urgh i hate it when they storm off

My husband daren't storm off out anymore because when he did i would have all his things packed up by the time he came back and in the front garden lol

It's good to have some space to let the anger pass so you can communicate, but he better bloody not leave the house!

Try not to get upset though - he's not going anywhere. Rest assured that you love each other and when he comes back it'll soon be right again.

You just feeling a bit frustrated about everything, maybe you did blow up or maybe not... It doesn't matter really.

Just phone him up and apologise for the things that you could have done better even if you don't feel that you started the argument and then it's done with

 

[SammyJ]

... something to do with being a man???
I really hate it when they do that and then you can't relax cos you keep replaying the conversation over and over and then thinking of what you should have said.
Relax and try to do something that will take your mind off it- stressing won't be doing you any favours hun x

 

[flopsybunny]

He said he may have to go abroad for work. How can we TTC if he does that?!

xx

 

[Olive]

Ah flopsy hope you're ok. How long are we talking abroad? A reasonable time or a lot of time?

xxxx

 

[SammyJ]

Me and DH have been exactly the same type of arguments lately. He has to work away all the time and when he is at home leaves at 6ish and not home til late so always knackered. I probably blow a fuse too quickly because I know every month he works late/away/is knackered lowers our ttc chances. But he always turns it around and gives me the guilt trip that I shouldn't get annoyed.

I really hope it turns out he doesn't have to go abroad flopsy but try and keep thinking positive it's still only a may not a positive
xx

 

[flopsybunny]

I don't know. Probably for a period of a few weeks at a time. That isn't a reasonable amount of time to me. Perhaps I'm being unreasonable?

xx

 

[LouiseB]

He said he may have to go abroad for work. How can we TTC if he does that?!

xx

Oh c'mon Flopsy, it doesn't have to be the end of the world...

You could maybe move with him? You might really enjoy the change of scenary

Or maybe his work would mean he'd come back to the UK frequently enough to ttc still like Scandicmum - she got a BFP seeing her OH for three days in her fertile phase.

Or maybe you could just travel to him as and when?

And it doesn't mean that he is going to find another women

 

[Olive]

It's hard mrs. It's totally understandable that you're upset. I'm guessing we'd all be the same - I would be. It's really stressful ttc when you want it so much. The thing is, your OH might have no option if his work is asking him? He might not want to go, but is being told he has to? Not sure if thats the case, but could be?

Sending you some hugs
xxxx

 

[Binzy]

It could be fun bding abroad, then you do a Beckham and name the baby after the exotic place in which it was conceived, unless he's going to Russia or somewhere with names that are hard to pronounce!

 

[flopsybunny]

The thing is, your OH might have no option if his work is asking him? He might not want to go, but is being told he has to? Not sure if thats the case, but could be?

Sending you some hugs
xxxx

Thanks, but he is the boss literally too!!

It is a good idea Binzy, but I have my names ready, maybe a middle name though?

I need to not get so carrried away. It is usually good to be passionate, but it has it's downsides (example ce soir!)

xx

 

[Binzy]

Think of all the romantic things you could do away! An exotic middle name would be cool!

 

[flopsybunny]

LOL my thoughts are the exact opposite of romantic at the moment

I'm starting to feel better now. It could have it's benefits...maybe...

xx

 

[Naomi D]

oh flopsy, I know how you feel hun. I had a row with my OH last night too. If I talk about a subject he doesn't like he gets very angry, and no matter what I say to calm things down, even apologising profusely - he still gets more and more angry and shouts, and says really mean things. It really upsets me as I see it as a form of control - I daren't say something he may not like for fear of starting a row
The best bet is for me to walk away and let him calm down.

It is hard, but we love these men, and we must accept the bad along with the good points!

Hope you're feeling better soon, and can come to a compromise

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

Aww hunni that must have been horrible to hear him tell you that he might have to go to work abroad.
He could have been stressing about telling you though so he was perhaps already defensive - Ready for the argument and all that
My husband is the same when he has bad news to tell me,

I would imagine saucy weekends/breaks in another country would be quite nice and you might be able to relax a bit more with eachother?!

There will always be a solution to the problem hun, Its just trying to work it all out straight away so you feel in control that will make you stress out.

We are all here for you if you need to rant

x x x

 

[Spinneygirl]

I know what you mean flopsy, my OH went off on one when this morning when i did a OPK and it was negative but when i said it was negative he replied "im not a machine you know, even if it is postive i cant do it on demand"!!!!!

I told him that I was doing it for my purposes because last month I had a longer cycle cus i was 5 days late!

TTC is stressful enough without him making things difficult!

I do agree with Bonny tho he probly got abit defensive as he was nervous about telling you, im sure you will work it out.

take care xxx

 

[positivity :)]

i think it is hard for both sides. ttc is stressful for both of you!

my OH asked me a few days back whether i was preggers and i said no, he said how do you know so i said, well AF arrived. then he said...its a lot of effort this baby making isn't it! not sure its worth the hassle. he laughed as he said it but it still hurt a bit. he's having a bit of a crap time at the moment so i let it go. its hard for both sides so you just have to make allowances. xx

 

[LouiseB]

he laughed as he said it but it still hurt a bit

My OH did something similar by joking about bd'in being a bit of a chore and then i realised we had to bd for a few more days because i got my OV date wrong so i felt shy of telling him, but when i did he replied with an enthusiastic "woo hoo" which made me feel great again.

I suppose they have up times and down times just like us

 

[xshauna_bazx]

My OH always says when do you want me next.. when would you like to book me in lol. Thats MEN for you!
As for your OH working away...as the others said would it not be good to go for a break away?
Could you not go over when your ovulating as a little holiday... also you never know this month could be your month!
I would not like it if OH had to go away i'd be really peeved off too. Have a little chat with him see if theres ways around this ... if not would it really be the end of the world? you love eachother and thats all that matters
Hope all works out for you xx

 

[flopsybunny]

Thanks girls. Still not sure if or when that going abroad thing is going to happen so I'm just going to forget about it and not mention it until he brings it up.

With regards to OHs being mean about BD, mine isn't too bad but he did shriek "what!!" when I said we were going to BD everyday until the 30th September (I don't know when I will ovulate). I think they think that they are having a lot of 'hard' work to do, they forget about what we will have to do at the end of 9 months that won't exactly be easy peasy!

xx