ARGHHH someone castrate my ex

[fran_23]

hey girls, some of u know i split up with my OH, well i found out yesterday that after being broke up about 3 weeks he's "in love" with this new girl and has got her pregnant, shes about to go travelling the world for a year and so is having a termination this week, the thing is up until recently he had been coming to see hayden and trying it on with me, i admit it was stupid but i slept with him a couple of times...weakness on my part but it won't be happening again!!! he told me at first that this girl didnt exist and he made her up to make me jealous..then he admitted he had someone but said he didnt really want a girlfriend but just someone to talk to and hug etc..

but i read his emails and found out about her baby aswell as a string of lovey dovey emails saying how he wants them to live together when she comes home etc...also he told her he slept out in the cold one of the nights when he stayed around mine.

i cant believe how he is being, its not the man i got engaged to hes totally changed in the last few months..then he started not bothering to contact me and see hayden so i've denied him access..do you think i'm being out of order or detrimental to hayden???
i dont know if i'm doing the right thing but what kind of dad is he? i'd rather stop access now while bubs wont remember him than have a broken hearted toddler wondering why his daddy hasnt shown up to see him again!!

what shall i do???? i'm so hurt i dont want that to get in the way of whats best for hayden, i'm not trying to use him as a weapon i just dont want him getting hurt.

 

[mummykay]

totally detach thinkin about him with hayden, haydens ur baby!!!

ur ex sounds like an idiot lyin to that girl that he spent the night outside when really he was in ur bed!!! dont blame urself for sleepin with him, deep down everyone wants a happy family but the truth is it just doesnt happen half the time!!

as for castratin him, a blunt spoon should do nicely

 

[cassi]

I think you're doing the right thing hun, Untill he gets his bloody act together and starts acting like a proper father then tell him to get stuffed!!!! Poor Haden dos'nt need a come and go dad that might be there sometimes and then suddenly not bother...its not good for him....he has got you and you are doing a great job

 

[Alfiesmummy]

ahhh fran

I cant believe how he is being hun, tel him straight that he is either a dad ornot and if he isnt then thats it no going back and likewise if he is, i understand you stopping access hun but in years to come you know whta kids are like if you implement a rule they dont like it could come back to haunt you so give ex the choice now and if he decides he is going to be a dad then if he breaks the promise send him packing out of Hadens life if he saus he doesnt wanna no then same again,

Hadens yoiur little soldier hun you know whats best for him and obviously him being as he is right now isnt the right thing for him. as for this other girl she'll get fed up of his games, hes obviously trying to use these tactics to gave his cake and eat it, and tbh i cant believe how lightly hes taking the matter of contraception, he has one child, then youve had it hard since and now once again hes putting another girl through this, canbt you tell its the men that never go throught these things!

sorry hun but i think hes being a complete *&%$#*&%$#

take care fran hunny

 

[Jaidy]

Hi Fran,

Sounds like your having a real crap time of it lately

At the end of the day babes, your Hayden's mama and you know whats best for him and you can only give your Ex so many chances. Its up to you what you decide to do, but at least if you give him the chance to get his act together if he blows it then later on in life you can say 'Hayden I gave your daddy a chance but he kept letting you down' at least Hayden will know YOU tried, I hope that makes sense.

Id give him a final ultimatum and say, shape up or thats it and if he still continues to be an arse then you can have peace of mind that you gave him to oppotunity to see his son and he blew he, so its his fault.

I do hope things start to get better for you babe, your a lovely girl and you dont deserve all the grief you have had lately.

Take care!

 

[Hypnorm]

I wouldnt stop him seeing hayden, as it could blow up in your face when he is older, and finds out you stopped his dad from seeing him.
At the end of the dad he is his dad, and he could go down the legal route and demand access, which would end up in court etc.
I would leave the ball in his court and leave it up to him if he comes to see his son, if he doesn then it is his loss.
I know its difficult but by stopping him seeing hayden you ARE using him as a tool and to hurt your ex. the fight is between ex and you keep kids out of the situation or things could turn nasty.

 

[cassi]

My dad just left when I was 4 never a birthday or xmas card or anything....and *sometimes* he would come out of the blue wanting to see us...bothering to be a father...luckily my mom did'nt let him because that would of confused us even more....so im glad she did it.

 

[Snuggle]

Your number one priority is Hayden and you're doing what is best for him. It hurts like hell having a come-and-go Dad when the kids reach teenage years...I know coz I had one

 

[Redshoes]

I think you should do whatever you're comfortable with and believe in fran_23, because you can only live your life by your values

I would say that if his Dad is an a s s, then his son will find out soon enough, you concentrate on being a good Mum, leave the bad Dad stuff to him

 

[fran_23]

hi girls thanks for all your replies..they all made sense to me.
since i told him he couldnt see hayden he didnt bother trying to contact me to get me to change my mind or anything then when i rang him to tell him come and get his stuff he asked me if i was willing to come to an arrangement.
i said i'll give him a chance but he has to be there for hayden..no saying he's gonna come see him and not turning up etc or otherwise i truly will stop access as its not in haydens interest to have a come and go dad as some of you with experience have quite rightly pointed out.
so its last chance saloon for him..so far hes been to see him yesterday and is coming later today.

but he lives on another f****ing planet....when he came round he told me hes looking at a live in job about 45 mins away but doesnt want to live far away from hayden..he said "oh unless you want to move too its a 3 bedroom place" HELLOOO what planet are u from you split up with me and knocked someone else up and now expect me to live with you for haydens sake.....needless to say i told him where to stick that idea!

the old strong me is back with a vengeance...and i'm glad we finished he's turned into a sick weirdo!!! maybe on jerry springer honey but not in my life!
ANNNNYWAY...rant over! thanks for all the great advice xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

aww hun sorry he is being like this hoepfully he will come around and realize he might lose his privilages.
My mom was never around when we were kids and she is just coming around now. I know how hurt we were but iknow it was our best interest in my dad not wanting her around at that time.


Katrina