ARGH! what the hell is going on..

[Eblinx]

..In my head.
I swear im going crazy!
I can honestly say i have never felt so low, and shouldnt this be like the happiest time of my life, watching my son grow up and all.
And to make it worse im pushing my husband away to the point where i dont think our relationship can take much more.
Someone please tell me it gets better with time...

 

[gingerpig]

It will get better but you might some help. To be honest, you're probably not getting enough/any sleep and it's a huge change in lifestyle!. Our parentcraft classes emphasized again and again that the first three months are the hardest because you're still expecting to do most of the things you used, you're absolutely bl**dy exhausted and it feels like it's never ending. plus as you point out, there's all the "shoulds" - like I should be all excited and happy, I should be able to cope, etc, etc. Of course when you feel bad, it's totally normal to push your OH and other people out of the picture as it's more emotion than you/I can deal with. Give yourself break, and see what help you can get. Could you afford a cleaner a couple of hours a week just to keep the house at bay, and is there a local mother and babies group you can go to to let off steam? You're not being a bad mum by feeling like this, you're actually showing what a fantastic mother you are by admitting to it! Good luck, and let us know how you get on

 

[skatty]

Its completely normal Eblinx! I have just been there and just now feel like I'm turning a corner!

the 8 week mark was great for me as this is when I started to feel like I really know Leorah and she started sleeping better and could finally lie on her back so can play on her mat etc.

It is definitely because of the exhaustion! I must say DH still annoys me though

Remember your body has been through huge hormonal changes. I often remind my DH of this and tell him I can't help being moody with him as I feel my whole world revolves around Leorah at the mo'. Things are better now, when he is home for the night he takes over after her 9pm feed, gets up for her 4am feed and then I get up with her in the morning between 7 and 8. He realises that even a hard day at work doesn't compare to being a 24hour a day parent to a small baby!

I am going to enclose a link to my thread where I was feeling exactly the same, it doesn't make things better but at least you'll see its normal

http://pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=19565

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Hunni if you can find a mother and baby group go there its great i was feeling so lonely and unhappy and for the last 5 weeks iv been going to this cresh place with mothers and children and its fantastic gets you out the house people take over and it gives you a break and some sane conversation i adore Alfie but i cant understand a word hes tellin me and there only so many times you can say "ooo really" "are you telling mummy a story?" etc im sure the neighbours think im crazy, come to think of that i thought i was. This is gods honest truth now hun, i felt so down and wouldnt go anywhere nr Ian, 1 day there and when he got home that night frm workin away he he best EVER! it works wonders getting out abit hun as it all feels so repetative and the nice thing is its YOUR thing not your oh's yours I love it and go twice a week.

 

[Keely]

I must say DH still annoys me though

My OH still annoys me and Ellis is 5 months hehe

eblinx it will get better i promise, but think how well you are doing being a new mum is sooooo hard but so rewarding with things settle down and your LO will start responding to your love.

Ellis shows he loves me at the min by stroking my face the trying to rip my bottom lip off!! arrrr haha haha xxxxxx

 

[Rosebay]

It's totally normal hun, here's a link to a similar post I replied to when Elliott was just over 4 weeks too:-

http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/v ... ght=#45488

It will get better, just hang on in there. I think that it has to be worse with your first babe as the second time you know it gets better but at the time I just couldn't see past the next hour. 6 weeks was when I felt as if I'd come out of a dark tunnel, 3 months was another landmark of feeling more relaxed and from 6 months onwards I've actually enjoyed it. I feel slightly guilty about admitting that I didn't enjoy the first six months but it was true for me. It wasn't because I didn't love him or regretted having him it was just the single most important thing that's happened to me in my life and the biggest challenge. I actually felt like I had somehow died and become a new person but that I didn't know what this person was like or how she should behave or act. That probably sounds weird but looking back on my life before becoming a mum and now that's the only way I can describe it. I love being a mum now and I just feel blessed every day. I also have a huge amount of respect for other mums because we all share that common experience. You can do it! But get some help with sleep if you can because that is the CRUCIAL factor. Just three hours more a day can make all the difference if you can get your OH, family or friends to help out. Also try and make sure you eat well yourself (don't try and diet too soon- I did and that really didn't help) and tell people how you are feeling as they can then support you, it's totally normal and I bet every mum you talk to knows where you're coming from.

((Hugs))
+++

 

[skatty]

Eblinx how are you now? Like Rosebay said sleep is really important. Those first few weeks were so hard and it made a real difference when I managed to get a few more hours sleep. There was a real pattern, all my tearful, moody days were after a hard night. I slept seperately from my DH so he could sleep and this meant he could take over in the morning, I'd feed Leorah and then he'd take her for a walk until her next feed. He had to take her out because I couldn't relax with her in the house in case she started to cry.

I guess your DH is back at work now isn't he? If you are feeling very, very low it might be worth chatting to your doc because you may have PND and that is fixable

 

[Eblinx]

thanks guys!
Well i thought i would update.
Health visistor came round today, she asked me to fill in a form.
I have no idea what it was it asks you 10 questions and you have to put a circle around your answer, anyways she said between 10-12 is borderline for depression and i scored 25. Oops. So yeah, now she must think im a nut, next stop either tonight or tomorrow is the docs.

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Ahh hun well at least you know that you can be helped to feel a bit better now, the doc will probably prescribe u anti-depressants and you'll be fine, they have been gr8 to do something so quickly a friend of mine had post natal depression for over 6 months before they told her they could help, shes now off the tabs for about 3 months her LO is 15months old and she is really happy, hope your ok hunni

 

[skatty]

You will be feeling better in no time

 

[budge]

Eblinx i hope you're feeling better soon. Get all the help you can get. Sounds like you have a little bit of depression.

 

[Jaidy]

Sorry to hear your feeling down Eblinx....im nervous about getting PND.

I think its brilliant you have recognised how your feeling and can start to get some help.

Lets hope you begin to feel better in no time

 

[foxymum]

good luck at the docs then hun, they will be able to help you & don't forget they see it every day & know exactly how to help.
the first year of your babies life is the toughest (& one of the best too ) i still feel really emotional now, any little thing i want to cry.

you're not alone either, my sister is going through a hard time & has gone back on stronger tablets & she hasn't even got any kids yet.
chin up & try to enjoy your 1st christmas with damon.

 

[Eblinx]

thanks everyone
Was kinda worried incase you all thought i was being silly.
The doc was really nice and understanding, she said i really need to try and talk to my husband and let him know how im feeling.
She gave me some fluoxetine and booked me in to see her again next friday so we can have another chat
Thank you for your support guys, it means alot