Argh teenagers!

[Sarah13]

Do you make your teens help around the house and do chores to earn their pocket money? My dd is currently doing her standard grades so uses homework to get out of chores at every opportunity. She currently doing the washing up in a huff as she was doing some homework. Am I being unfair to make her do it? She does get a lot of homework and is an A grade student but I also think helping out at home is important, what do you think? She makes me feel guilty!

 

[Kayelle]

I think she should learn to help, I used to make as many excuses as poss when younger but its important to help

 

[MrsR]

I think it's important for children to help. DD does chores for poket money and she's 8. As long as the homework still gets done I don't see any harm in her helping. I was never asked/encouraged to help around the home and really struggled when I moved out to get into doing housework.

 

[Kayelle]

That's an interesting point MrsR , I was asked to do a lot, hated it, but now love housework

 

[Sarah13]

And washing up only really takes 20 mins was what I was thinking, she moaned longer! And last night I got the "but I only used one plate" excuse! Oh so the pots to cook the dinner in don't count!
I just think she'll have a massive shock at uni in a couple of years if she doesn't do stuff now. Plus Im really busy with the baby and my own work esp as oh works away a lot.

 

[Hope81]

I was always told that my only job as a teenager is to do well in school, tidy my room and just don't make a mess.
I was never asked to do absolutely anything and I was actually encouraged to go for a walk or have some sleep if I had some free time. Ofc some times I cooked or did the laundry but mostly because I wanted to rather than being asked.
I had perfect grades, always the best student at school, wasn't staying late at weekends downtown and generally my whole life was around school and school activity clubs.
I turned up fine lol, I am now a doctor and I accommodated fast with chores while a student and living alone.
As for pocket money, at the first of the month I was given a set amount of money to buy things I wanted or go to the cinema or have a drink at the town (no alcohol limit in Greece but hated alcohol anyway lol)
With LO planning to do the same as long as she is a good student. Expecting from her to not make a mess, tidy her room and study.
If she is not doing so good at school I suppose we will see what we will do.
No idea how good parenting is that but it worked with me somehow. I suppose it depend on the teenager?

 

[littlemiss83]

Hmmmm

I think that being a teenager is bloody hard, but, its important that they dont forget other things while studying, an important tool with studying is to allow it to fit into your life. And imagine trying to get that routine back after studying is finished?...... As you said, its only 20 mins, its fair do's if thats all she's gotta do. I suppose it teaches that when there is stresses in life (exams ect) everything else has to go on and be done.

Moaning in general drives me insane. I am dreading teenage years

 

[Sarah13]

Teenagers do moan a lot, there is always something to moan about at 15 I guess! She's a great teen otherwise so I really shouldn't moan but sometimes you feel like the house gets treated like a hotel!

 

[floridagirl]

I think if your problem with your teenager is washing up then you are extremely lucky, I think washing up a d doing thier bedroom is a normal and healthy argument to have with your teenager. Mu husband works with problem teenagers and I could make your eyes water believe me and we live in a very good area so these teenagers are from good and well off families yet drugs, drinking and sex is a major problem from the age of twelve !! I'd say count your lucky stars lol. Plus I hated washing up as a teenager so would say anything to get out of it and I am fine lol

 

[Sarah13]

I know, Im really lucky that all I have to worry about is being lazy with chores! Just makes you mad sometimes when your already running about mad after a crawling baby etc and they don't want to chip in! Then I start thinking Im being unreasonable when she's got lots of homework.

 

[Binzy]

You're not being unreasonable at all. Washing up will not kill her. I too was a grade A student and never got into trouble but my parents made us wash up, tidy our rooms, walk the dog and help out in general. That's what being a family is all about.

 

[Belfast girl]

Gosh that's exactly the same as me. Even if I offered my mum would say, ur going to spend all ur grown up life doing it so why start now! Of course we had to keep our rooms spotless, and organise ourselves. It does sound like we were pretty sheltered but I turned out fine as well and coped fine living away from home at uni!

I was always told that my only job as a teenager is to do well in school, tidy my room and just don't make a mess.
I was never asked to do absolutely anything and I was actually encouraged to go for a walk or have some sleep if I had some free time. Ofc some times I cooked or did the laundry but mostly because I wanted to rather than being asked.
I had perfect grades, always the best student at school, wasn't staying late at weekends downtown and generally my whole life was around school and school activity clubs.
I turned up fine lol, I am now a doctor and I accommodated fast with chores while a student and living alone.
As for pocket money, at the first of the month I was given a set amount of money to buy things I wanted or go to the cinema or have a drink at the town (no alcohol limit in Greece but hated alcohol anyway lol)
With LO planning to do the same as long as she is a good student. Expecting from her to not make a mess, tidy her room and study.
If she is not doing so good at school I suppose we will see what we will do.
No idea how good parenting is that but it worked with me somehow. I suppose it depend on the teenager?

 

[littlesmoosh]

ive only got a 3 month old lol. but, i started doing the dishes at the age of 8 years old. i would to them every night before bed and thats what got my pocket money. as i got older i also had to clean the bathroom fortnightly. and of course tidy my own room. my big brother did the hoovering and walking the dog. i think it was good for us. and also, my dad was a single dad so it really helped him out. he worked and would also have to look after us and do the dinner and everything. so it was only fair we chipped in.
i now have two little brothers (dad got married). they are 8 and 12. and they do nothing. literally nothing. they both get weekly pocket money. it is the most frustrating thing to watch (especially now that im a parent). because my 8 year old brother weighs 8 stone. all he does is play the xbox. my 12 year old brother is also starting to pile on the weight. all he does is sit on the laptop on facebook/youtube/skype. the 12 year old spends his weekly pocket money on kfc. (this part isnt really relevant lol). my point is that i feel like my brother and i had to learn to earn money. we had to learn to help out. and we were grateful for what we got. my little brothers dont have the same values as we had. and i think its really down to my dad and his wife wanting an easy life. i think they just cant be bothered with the boys moaning so they dont make them do stuff. problem is, the boys are probably more demanding and selfish as a result.
i will definitely be making my son and any other children i have earn their pocketmoney. i think it just sets a good example of whats to come in their future as well. we work, we earn. simple really.

 

[Laurieta]

Not so often just time to time. It helps to build a feel of responsibility in your child and on the other hand this will help him/her in future. It's OK in some borders

 

[Mrs Wibbily]

I think it's really important to teach children life skills, whether that being how to wash up, iron or organise themselves. My step children do nothing at their mums as she is a self admitted control freak and likes to do everything herself but then carries on that they don't do anything! They have jobs here and if they didn't moan about doing them they'd have them done much quicker and have time to do other things! I'd much rather they were helping out round the house rather than sat with a fooking gadget in their hands! Argh! X