Anyone struggled TTC after MC? Feeling disheartened!

[ams25]

Hi ladies, hope you're all well!

So it looks like we're onto cycle 5 of TTC after my miscarriage in April... I'm 12dpo and still BFN so pretty sure im out this month, just waiting for AF to show her ugly face tomorrow! I conceived my first 2 children and the baby we lost without any trouble at all, first month for them all (I know how sickeningly lucky this was and i'm grateful every day for my little ones!)...However the fact it's been so easy before really makes me think that the miscarriage has affected my body/fertility in some way. Has anyone else got experience of this? Any ideas what could be causing it? It was a natural MC with no complications and my cycle returned to normal after 35 days.

Feeling so down and disheartened tonight I can't properly move on from the MC until im pregnant again, and each month is just prolonging it It's my best friends baby shower next weekend, we were due 3 weeks apart... I'm obviously over the moon for her but it is hard not to compare and think 'if she's 7 months pregnant then I would have been 6 months' etc. I really hoped I'd be pregnant again by her baby shower but I'm not and i'm absolutely dreading it I will plaster a big smile on my face for my friends sake then go home and cry all evening probably.

Anyway thankyou for reading if you've got this far. I hope we all get some luck soon xxx

 

[snowbee]

I'm sorry to hear about your mc and that you are struggling to see other pregnancies progress. It is difficult so don't feel bad about feeling this way, it isn't that you aren't happy for them, you are just grieving your loss.

It can mess your body up, after my first my cycle went nuts for a good 6-8 months before things started to get back to normal. After my second again I never had my cycle return and had to have a bleed induced (again!) but we started fertility treatment so that got my cycles back again. My third was a chemical pregnancy and surprisingly I ovulated fairly soon (for me!) afterwards and that cycle was 40 days. I'm back on the fertility treatment now so that has brought my cycles back to normal this time.

After my first mc my husbands best friend announced his wife was pregnant with the same due date as us. After my second two of our friends announced, one the week before then other the week after. I came face to face with the second baby at the weekend and it was a shock to the system thinking that could have been us (should have been us?!).

If your cycle has returned and you are ovulating chances are everything is fine and back to normal. Stay positive, make sure both of you are taking conception specific vitamins and best of luck. How old are you? If over 35 you can ask for blood tests to check you are ovulating after 6 months ttc, if you are under it is a year. You could always ask your gp if they would do an mot for you and your oh but be prepared for them to say that you have to wait, some areas are more accommodating than others.

 

[ams25]

Hi Snowbee, thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear about your losses ♥ I'm very much hoping your sticky baby is on his/her way to you as we speak xx That's helpful to hear about your experience with cycle issues after MC. I've not been able to find much when googling about the effect of MC on fertility.

I am really happy for my friend, it's just like you say it's really difficult not to compare when you would/should have been the same stage I hope you were okay after seeing your friends baby. I really don't know how I'm going to feel seeing my friends, such a mix of emotions of being happy for her but sad for my little baby I never met. We were so excited to be pregnant at the same time and imagined our babies growing up as best friends too.

I'm only 29 so time is on my side, I doubt the doctor would do anything, although my OH is 40 so quite a bit older, I know mens fertility doesn't decline as much as women's but I do think their sperm quality is lower over 40? So I don't know if they would test him?

 

[BunnyN]

I can sympathise with this. My 1st pregnancy was an accident from a condom falling off. It sadly ended as a chemical but it got us thinking about TTC. We were kind of undecided still but dtd unprotected once my next cycle and I got pregnant. The next one took a bit longer because of breastfeeding but considering it was still pretty quick. After our 2nd was born I got pregnant again after only one period despite the fact I was breastfeeding. So basically I got pregnant 3 out of 4 times 1st try and the other time it was still quicker than expected so after I lost the baby at 10 weeks I hoped to get pregnant again quickly. It took us 5 months to get pregnant again which is nothing compared to others who have had fertility problems but it felt like forever to me. I lost a lot of blood during the MC and was quite anemic after so all I can think is that my body knew it needed time to recover. It was probably right but my emotions did not agree!

 

[snowbee]

My oh is 39, his SA has always come back ok but as you say they are starting to find links between male age and increased mc risk now so they may look at him. I don't think it does any harm to ask but be prepared for them to say not yet.

My best bit of advice is to take time to grieve and not to feel bad about it. Some times you just need a bit of time to yourself to let it out and then be able to go out and be happy for them. I've cried a lot in private but have usually managed to hold it together in front of them, afterall it is their happy time and you never know what some people have been through to get that far. I would just hope they can be happy for me if we ever get our take home baby. Good luck

 

[ams25]

Arch u wrote a big reply to this and lost it! Thank you both so much, BunnyN that's given me hope as your history sounds very similar to mine! I'm so glad you got your baby on month 5... congratulations! I'm going into cycle 5 now so really hoping it's a lucky number 5 for me too

Snowbee I think you're so right; it takes time. I'm really happy for my friend and will definitely be hiding my feelings on the day but having a little cry at home to let all the emotion out. I really hope September is a lucky month for you♥xxx

 

[Tonks82]

I've been through this Hun too.
Came off pill (not for ttc reasons) took other precautions and fell pregnant straight away.
When we started trying for our son I fell pregnant again right away. So when it came to trying again for our 2nd baby I again fell straight away but it ended in a loss 5+3! I thought no worries I don't have problems conceiving but then I didn't fall pregnant again for another 7months and i couldn't understand what was wrong.
After 7 months I then started falling pregnant quickly again but had another 2 very early losses and a miscarriage at 8 weeks all with 6 months. After the miscarriage I caught 3rd cycle after and now I'm pregnant again.

I do think the 7month quiet spell I had was down to being very stressed nothing to do with my cycles after the loss. But they affect everybody differently.

I hope it happens for you soon i know it's frustrating and saddening especially when you can't figure out where it's going wrong xxx

 

[ClaireDoll]

It's so hard to tell, on the one hand they say oh you'll be really fertile straight after, my first this wasn't the case as we tried for over 2 years until the next bfp, this was unfortunately another early loss however I did then fall pregnant again 3 months later, another loss however I hope the next time will be soon and sticky! Sending you hugs honey, it's so so hard, especially with the friends etc getting pregnant as well, been there done that with the baby shower, just gotta do what you can manage to get through it and have a cry to yourself afterwards xxx

 

[M1chelle]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I really hope you get your rainbow baby soon. x