Anyone elses OH a bit "tactless" about the weight gain stuff

[lisaspoon]

rant alert!!!!!! big rant...sorry. need a moan to people who understand!

We have started taking photos of me and bump each week to show progression, started a couple of weeks ago so last night was my 3rd. After it was taken OH was flicking back and forward between last week and this week and he said "oh theres definately been a change, but I would say its more fat than anything" what?!!? oh yes he was pointing out fat on my hips....

now I have been happy with my weight gain so far, not gone over what have recommended as "healthy gain" and have so far put on 3lbs (if you dont include a drop of 2 at the beginning!) which i think is fine?

I think my OH expects me to gain 7lbs 2ozs and thats it.... he forgets that there is everything else to go on top!! now correct me if i'm wrong, but we store fat too for breastfeeding? and unfortunately, this will have to go somewhere? right? I dont know where he expects me to hide it!!!!

His comments really hurt me, and he blaims it all on not exercising (i'm doing some walking to and from the train station/station to from work) which would total to 35mins a day if I did the lot but have been getting the odd lift in to work in the car from OH...so been a bit slack... also weather been ruuuubish!

It really annoys me, I think i'm showing a bit but he says its just "fat on the belly" .....I really want to cry...... maybe it was the 25pack of crisps that got him scared I would balloon!!

sorry for the rant... xxxxxxxxxx

 

[*CLAIREBEAR*]

"abit" tactless!
i think thats damn right rude!!
the nasty pasty!! (trust me to mention food!!)
men really dont think do they before they speak!?????
if that is all the weight you have put on then you are doing better then me!
i have put on more then that and im still in 1st tri! (im holding heaps of water though esp in my ankles!)
im pretty lucky as my OH is really complimently,i would give him a slap next time!!

 

[EllieBelle]

Oh very tactless OH..!!!

I dont even have scales in the house...........but I can bet you my weight gain is more than 3lbs, so you are doing very well.

My DH is away for 3 weeks so I am stuffing my face with what ever I like at the moment

Last time I saw him he told me I wasnt getting fatter, just more pregnant

Just ignore him.......men can be so rude sometimes.

 

[stace914]

i'm always saying "oh, im getting so fat."
he usually says something like "what did you expect."
meh. i think he stillthinks i'm sexy!

 

[Penstraze]

My DH calls me chubby or chunky (affectionately) has done all the way through pregnancy, the other day he called me a heffer and then he said I looked like a sumo wrestler, when I first started getting a bump he told me I looked like a budha, he said after a woman in the shop said how trim I was for my stage that bump might be trim but my hips and thighs certainly wernt, he's told me (jokingly) I have 2 weeks to get back in my old clothes then hes burning all my maternity stuff and if I don't fit in old clothes I will have to go round naked as an incentive to lose weight!!! So yes you could say he's tactless but I know he doesn't mean it really and still fancies me so I don't take it personally although at times when feeling fat and frumpy its hard not to let it get to me!!!

 

[MissyRee]

My OH learnt not to call me fat or refer to any weight gain in a negative way after i lent on his hand by accident with my elbow and he said 'watch out your more heavy than you used to be!' which was quickly followed by a flood of tears and hysterical crying!!
Ive found other people have actually been worse for it than my OH, for instances my friend used to txt and ask if im FAT yet.. she was pregnant at the time herself! You'd of thought she'd understand you dont want to be called FAT??
And my Aunt was round the other day she had a baby in March herself and had a lovely big bump so when i walked in the room she said 'Ah hello FATT.... OH your not a FATTY at all.. wheres your bump!??' She looked very jealous aswell when i was talking to her about my bump and baby, which i was rather enjoying as i dont appreciate being referred to as 'FATTY'.. you wouldnt say it to an over-weight person for goodness sakes so why would you say it to a pregnant HORMONAL woman?! x

 

[xmcnickyx]

you wouldnt say it to an over-weight person for goodness sakes so why would you say it to a pregnant HORMONAL woman?! x

It's quite funny that, I'm overweight and so have no bump in any way shape or form that anyone can see but people are so wierd about it.

Nobody really asks me about having a bump and when I do speak to people about and say that I'm too big to be showing yet or that it'll take a while to get a bump or that my stomach is too big for me to show yet they start acting like I'm not very obviously overweight. I'm fine with it but other people seem embarrased if I mention that I'm fat

My husband probably hasn't noticed that I've put weight on since I'm big anyway but since I've always been big and he's never had a problem with it he'd never comment anyway. I think he's a bit sad sometimes that I haven't got a great big bump for him to feel though.

 

[lea m]

"abit" tactless!
i think thats damn right rude!!

I agree!! Im sorry your OH is being so nasty hun! Thats not right! I put on 3 1/2 stone with my first and OH never said anything like that! If I mentioned my weight he would say we it shows your more bothered about the baby than your figure! Tell him to bugger off! I cant believe he even made these comments when you have only gained 3lbs? Geez

 

[Julie84]

Its my MIL I have the problems with!

I lost about 3 and half stone before I fell pregnant (I think dieting made me suddenly very fertile as we were actively using contraception ) and still had a bit of a way to go. But being pregnant is very different from being overweight. I've put on almost a stone now but it is completely different from when I was a stone heavier through being overweight. It looks and feels different (for me and I think to others) and is also very different with regards to health implications etc.

When Neil told his family we were expecting the first words his mother uttered were 'Well, Julie's going to put all that weight back on and be outrageously fat at the end of it!" It's just as well I don't like her otherwise I might have fallen out with her.

 

[lisaspoon]

thanks everyone for your replies

after crying at work when someone asked if I was ok (so embarrased!! ) and crying when OH rang me before coming to pick me up from work, we've kissed and made up he was very apologetic and admitted that work is stressing him at the moment......

he admits that what he said was rude and he didnt mean it to sound like he was referring to my weight, he said he was trying to "tactfully" (lol!) tell me that I should do some exercise to help things after I have the baby... (by that he means walking to train etc) ....... unfortunately, me being hormonal took his comment to heart (which i think anyone would) and got myself upset about it!
He also admitted that he thinks I look fine as well.....lol and still fancies me tons!

I did send him a huge email with all the "facts" written down,.....i.e I AM going to put on fat.......

I too get called Fatty sometimes, but when he does that I know he's just being affectionate....

I hate hormones! I was almost crying all afternoon at my desk, or should I say, leaking,.....my eyes wouldnt stop running!!!!!
I'm off for a good sleep. .. after i've had a bag of crisps and some chocolate!!