Anyone else only want the one baby?

[Full of hope!]

Before I had Jacob I always wanted more than one child but recently I have changed my mind and think that I will be quite happy with just the one!

I had an easy pregnancy (although suffered with migraines throughout), my labour was brilliant, Jacob has been the perfect baby but I did suffer badly with PND and this along with other things has put me off having another baby.

Now the reason i'm mentioning this is because i'm shocked at the reaction of some people when I say that I don't think i'll have another one People say things like "Oh you don't want an only child! He will be lonely, spoilt etc" Some people also make me feel selfish for only wanting the one!

I love Jacob with all my heart, I don't think he's spoilt or lonely! He has a cousin 18 months older than him and lots of little friends I just don't want to go through PND again (it was really awful ) I also had a lot of health problems after Jacob was born. I just feel that I want to be there for Jacob and give him all my love and attention and have a financially comfortable life! Do you think that's selfish?

Does anyone else feel that they only want the one child? Have you experienced the same kind of comments from people?

After saying all this I do know that one day I might change my mind and want another baby, i'm still only 29 and who knows what the future may bring.....

 

[Sage]

its far far away from being selfish. it would be selfish if you had another just to please others! I was an only child and grew up perfectly happy and wasnt spoilt at all. Hes only 10months! you've got plenty of time to decide if you want another or not.

 

[elaine22]

x

 

[scones]

I have a brother who is 10 years older than me so it was like being an only child, I never felt lonely as I had loads of mates, which was great as I didnt have to fight for parents attention etc etc. Plus I didnt know any different.

I have an 8 year old son and never thought i would want anymore, I am now preg and my son is very happy with the news, but he's been on his own for 8 years, hes never said hes bored/lonely. Hes the happiest lad you could meet, sociable and likeable and popular! We have had 8 years of great fun doing things together.I think the reason I left it so long before having bnother one was, I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasnt ready psychologically for another child, until about a year ago and something switched in me-i thought its now or never. Im 32 now so still young enough to have some energy.

I never wanted 2 little ones, I see people out and about and they look so harrassed when they have 2 toddlers, that life really wasnt for me.

Whatever you decide is your decision, nobody is in a position to judge you on not having any more.In fact I think you are being really sensible and thinking of jacob, due to the pnd, you deserve recognition for the fact you arent going to put yourself through that again. Enjoy him before he gets to school though, these years fly by hun xxxxx

 

[Full of hope!]

Thanks ladies

Sage, I was going to also ask if anyone feels that they missed out being an only child but forgot to mention that I asked my friend the same question recently and he said no as he didn't know any different which is true I guess!

I have a sister 4 years younger than me and when we were little we did play together and keep each other entertained but we also used to fight A LOT and drive our mam to despair with it We get on now but only because she lives away and we don't see each other often

It will be interesting to see how many of the girls on here actually do only want the one baby.... anyone else?

 

[Full of hope!]

Thanks Scones

Your not wrong about the time flying by, I can't believe he's 10 months already Good luck with your new baby Your little boy sounds like a lovely lad, i'm sure he'll make a great big brother!

 

[mummykay]

me

 

[maldives]

Think about your question although u don't mean it but u asked about having one BABY! yes I guess it's reasonable to say One baby is enough! and once it's grown up 4-5 years it will be much easier to have another BABY
I got pregnant again by mistake and now I promised my self not to have any for at least 10 years! reason why coz I am so tired all the time and I think I might have got PND as well! not sure if it's PND but I am depressed lately from family issues that I find difficult to resolve! any way back to ur survey if i had the chance I would have one baby and wait till it grows up and then THINK of having another

 

[Full of hope!]

Maldives I didn't think about that Yeah, one baby at a time is definitely enough for me! Hats off to those who have more than one baby at a time and good luck to you with your little ones

I'm sure you already realise but I mean one baby/child and that's it... no more.... ever

 

[Manda&Thomas]

i was going to just stick with Thomas, but then this baby happened.
thats it now though cant see me ever wanting anymore,
xx

 

[scones]

I know for sure though that I dont want to be a Mum of 3, so after this one my coil is going in and never coming out !!!!!

 

[Babylicious]

It took me 7 1/2 years to decide I wanted another, before that it would have definately been a no

 

[Mildly]

I think I would be happy to have just one but my OH would like two more

I had bad SPD in pregnancy and didn't really like being pregnant, also I found the first 4ish weeks absolutely horrible after Oscar was born. I am loving spending time with him now, I feel like we have a real bond but at the same time my life is so different to before he was born.

My OH is already talking about a second but I have said that I'm not sure I want one. As I had an emergency c section, i don't have to think about it until next september so maybe I'll change my mind before then. In some ways I can't imagine loving another baby as much as I love Oscar (silly, I know, I'm sure I would love another baby equally but it still worries me).

 

[valentine]

Not me, I would love to have 4 or 5 in total, not sure where I'll put them all though.

However, after this pregnancy that'll be it for a while, I'm having a miserable time!

Valentine Xxx

 

[nickilubs]

Ahhh phew! I thought I was the only one! I had a nice pregnancy and birth was alright but I just do not want another child. Maybe its because I was from a big familly. Every one always looks at me with Ivy and says that of course I will have more children because I'm a "Mummy" like person but I really don't want it. The thought of having another baby actually makes me feel really sad. I know there will always be enough love to go each child comes and brings more love but I'm so scared of not having the time. I want to spend every second watching Ivy grow up and become her own person I worry about missing it, there's so much my parents missed out on because they were busy with my other siblings.

I did not like pregnancy at all, I loved having Ivy there but I didn't trust myself too be careful enough I found it really hard to look after somebody I couldn't really see. I think when Ivy is older I would look into adoption but for now and how I honestly feel at the moment no I really don't want more.

 

[Full of hope!]

I had bad SPD in pregnancy and didn't really like being pregnant, also I found the first 4ish weeks absolutely horrible after Oscar was born. I am loving spending time with him now, I feel like we have a real bond but at the same time my life is so different to before he was born.

In some ways I can't imagine loving another baby as much as I love Oscar (silly, I know, I'm sure I would love another baby equally but it still worries me).

I didn't like being pregnant much either tbh and I had a rough time for around 7 months after Jacob was born, it was one thing after another I think that probably has a lot to do with my decision not to have another and I guess it's still early days so I could change my mind in years to come

I also feel the same as you! I can't imagine how i'd love another baby as much as I love Jacob

Valentine, sorry your having a miserable time at the moment, it must be hard with a LO to look after

Nickilubs... it's a relief that your not the only one isn't it?! I love your little girls name by the way

 

[Teej]

We always wanted more than one but now i think we're pretty much in agreement to stick with just Sam. My pregnancy was ok but the birth was very traumatic and i did suffer with PND for a while. And OH My God sleep deprivation is unbelieveable torture!!
It's amazing though people are always asking me if i want another one and are so shocked when i say no! I really feel they are judging sometimes and thinking that i must be a crap mum and not love my son just because i don't want another..its mad, so i've just started saying "oh, maybe one day"

 

[Clydesdaleclopper]

We are sticking at 1. I had thought I would like 2 or 3 but pregnancy was so awful I couldn't go through it again ( hyperemesis until 5 months, SPD and on crutches from 18 weeks and 6 weeks in a wheelchair, caesarean for placenta previa). I just couldn't physically manage it again. DH is an only child so he's fine with it.

I hate it when people presume to know what is best for someone else's family and start telling you what you will do - are they flippin psychic to say "oh you'll change your mind"