Having another baby

[maybebaby]

Our plan all along was to start TTC again after Christmas. But the closer it comes, the more scared I'm getting. It's not that I don't want another baby, I'm just terrified that I won't love it as much as Austin. Right now I can't imagine feeling the same way about another baby. I'm scared I'll have another one and reject it, or it will grow up knowing I love Austin more. I feel like I'm betraying Austin even thinking about bringing another baby into the family, almost like I'd be 'replacing' him?

I don't want Austin to be an only child, and I've always planned a small gap between babies but I'm really having second thoughts. OH is really excited about having another one (or maybe it's the TTC he's looking forward to...) so I don't feel like I should say anything to him.

Is this common? Will I get over it?

If you have more than one child, or are pregnant with #2, how did/do you feel about the new baby?

 

[mamichuli]

Hunny, your feelings are completely normal. I had this with my second, when I was expecting Victor, I was worried that i would never love him as much as his sister Jessica, my eldest. You know what ? Love is expandable! You will love the next one just as hugely as you love Austin, I promise you. It's a strange thing but you just do...

good luck TTCing!

 

[Squiglet]

I think its normal to worry about this... I can't imagine ever loving someone as much as I love Tia, and I certainly can't imagine that any future children I have will be as beautiful, kind and perfect as she is.

My friend said that I will, but you know, you just keep thinking that that might not be true... I'll let you know when I have this one...

 

[little*red]

i know how you feel , i kep getting guilt pangs about this too, as i dont want Evie thinking we wanted to replace her as soon as she was here especially because we are having them so close together.
The thing is, if its another girl i almost feel as if we have betrayed her in some way, i can't explain why. But i know at the end of the day i will love the other one just as much. I just thinkof all Evies perfect little quirks and her personality and i know i'll love this one for having its own unique personality.
I also hope that at the end of the day Evie is happy that she wasnt an only child as my DH was an only child and he always said he hated it and that hes rather have no children than just the one on its own.

 

[MissThing]

I dont know how I will feel about second baby ( I also want to have second with a small age gap), but, before Daniel was born I was so scared that I wont love him or reject him after having a bad labor...But, as soon as he was born, with the first screem I felt soo much love!
I think with the second baby it might be similar...

Its ok to worry, but I think that as soon as the baby will come, you will fall in love all over again!

 

[Sammystar]

I felt the same when I got pregnant and my eldest was only four months old. I cried for days because I felt so bad for my eldest, like I was betraying her.

Now I look back and I can't believe I ever felt that way! Your heart just grows with each child, and nobody misses out on the love, there's just soooooo much of it, you'll be amazed!
As for the kids, well my eldest can't remember life before her sister, they are inseparable, and they ADORE their little brother too.

 

[kellie80]

I felt the same but its not like that at all. In fact I think I went more the other way and was totally into the new baby and maybe neglected the older one for the 1st couple of months. It wasn't intentinal, just happened. You expect never to be able to love anyone as much as you child then another one comes along and its the exact same feeling all over again.