Anyone else have a messy partner?

[Melily24]

Hi. I like things to be tidy - not perfect, but tidy. If the kids are playing with one toy - for e.g. trains and train tracks everywhere and then they want to play with the lego, I first have them put the trains away. Not always, but most of the time. I tidy up after myself in the kitchen as I go.
Hubby is an absolute mess. Lives like a 18 year old student.... he is really nice in that for e.g. today he let me go upstairs for 3 hours as I had a migraine and he took care of kids... but the mess...... I came downstairs after an hour to get some food and the ground floor was trashed.. toys everywhere, colouring pens all over the table, DD had drawn all over her shirt (ruined now), kitchen a disaster zone. I didn't say anything.
Come downstairs now and the mess...... the kids have been in the garden, they've thrown mud all over my clean windows, the shed door, all their toys are out there, they've been digging in my plants etc.. etc.....
I told DH that I've kept my peace for a good few years now, but he really needs to do something about the mess that he creates and he allows the kids to make. Honestly the amount of mess there is, you would think they had been let alone for a month, not 4 hours...... Usually I end up cleaning up the mess. I don't see why he has to make such a mess and allow them to make a mess like that. If I can compromise not to moan everytime about the mess, then I think he should compromise and clean up abit as he goes and not let the kids go wild. He knows that it really really irritates me. I can't relax in a mess like that. he was exceptionally spoilt as a child and is an only child. He doesn't need to be like me, not at all, I just don't know how he can make a mess like that and it doesn't bother him. He has no control over the kids. One day it won't be their toy that they break, but part of themselves... Or am I just being a mean old cow? Thanks.

 

[Rachel80]

I hear you! Mine is bad too, in fact I don't even let him cook etc most of the time because the mess is just too much to bear! He'll get ready for work in the morning, there will be wet towels on the floor & bed, hangers on the floor, drawers open like we've got a poltergeist, clothes lying on the floor where he stepped out of them the night before! He'll make a sandwich & there will be crumbs all over the side, dirty plate etc in the sink when we have a perfectly good dishwasher! He cannot physically be tidy I don't think. He too was an only child, mummy's boy....I've stepped nicely into the role of mummy! Grrrr x

 

[Melily24]

Argh...... I doubt they will ever change, so no point getting upset about it I know, but it drives me mental... I can take it and take it and then I lose the plot...

 

[Kezzo]

Don't get me started on this. Every time my man is going for shower there is a trail of clothes going from bedroom to bathroom and he comes out shower and walks over them.!!! I've made a point of leaving the dishes to see how long it would take him and after 5 days I ended up giving in and doing them myself.!!! It's ridiculous. Why don't they ever just step in and help keep the place tidy.? When I have brought this issue up I get the same reply "why have u always got to moan at me" ASSHOLE lol.......aaaah that feels better xx

 

[wifeywifey]

Melilly are you married to my husband lol. I went for a two hour driving lesson the other day after spending the morning cleaning to come back to a complete mess his response was "I play with the kids whats your problem" cue me hitting the roof especially as I know he was sat on computer the whole time.

 

[Jobieone]

OKkkkk, this worries me, myself and my BF are the messiest people ever! we don't have a child, though one is on the way. god knows what the house is going to look like then.

more than a tip than it is now

 

[Melily24]

Ohhh WifeyWifey, your post sounds allllll toooo familiar

Good luck Jobieone! But at least if you make a mess yourself, it shouldn't bother you

 

[Syndilou]

This sounds so familiar! My OH is great when it comes to baby but it'd be nice ifhe thought 'I'll tidy up the living room' or even make a cuppa!! Lazy bum!

 

[mylullaby]

I actually think you need to find a happy medium. It would annoy me to find mud everywhere or the entire house in a complete tip, but I think you'd be happier/less stressed if you could find a way to put up with the mess for a while and have "tidy up time" every so often - before lunch and then again before bed perhaps - rather than running round clearing up all the time. That way you can get OH in on the idea of tidy up time and your kids will learn to accept that it has to happen and they have to take part. It's not your job to tidy up/clean. Everyone should chip in. I could tell which of my uni friends had their mums running round clearing up after them as kids because they expected someone to do it for them when they started uni too - horrid, filthy people they were (very good friends but still utter pigs). Same with blokes I've dated who expected me to replace their mothers who ran around doing everything for them. No thank you - on your bike Mr Pig Man!

 

[hayln]

I am the messy one!! Everything is always clean, just untidy. I am getting better tho as OH has ocd and has to organise everything, he is a god send to me lol

 

[Melily24]

It must be Lonely Child Syndrome or something...