I dont know what to do ...Please.. please help

[violet-glow]

Hiya I should start by telling you a little bit about myself. Im Joanne, I have a 2 year old son and I am 3 months pregnant.... My boyfriend well ex boyfriend I guess now (Owain) isnt the father of my 2 year old, but is the father to my unborn baby..... Anyway so heres what happend last night...

Right so last night I went out for my 21st birthday, Owain was there and a handfull of my friends. We were all having an amazing time, just went into town for a couple of drinks and a chat, I dont get to catch up with them much their always working. A friend of mine Clive was there he had just slip up with his partner, he seemed really down and upset so I guess I was givin him a little more attention than everyone else. Those I tried to include everyone in convos and have a laugh and a giggle.

It all started when Owain (my partner) had a go at me for givin my friend Clive to much attention. I asked my friends if I wasnt including them and said sorry if it seemd like I wasnt, but they assured me that I wasnt and they were all having a great time. (My friends are the sort of people that would tell me if I was being a bitch etc - I think u need that in life)

Owain and I got back to my flat around 11pm (my son was at my parents for the night) When Owain and I got in I went straight to the bedroom to take out the pins from my hair and just basicly wind-down. I asked Owain if he felt a bit jealous because I was chatting with my friends. He wasnt happy with that question and we started

I told him I didnt want to fight so I asked him to stay at his parents, we had both had some alcohol so I didnt really want a heated fight. Thats what it soon turned into tho. He shouted at me saying he wasnt going to leave and that I dont really love him etc. He kept pushing me onto the bed everytime I tried to shut the door. So I tried to push him out of my bedroom, which didnt work he just kept pushing me over. We carried on shouting and arguing. Owain said he wanted his things back so I started gathering them up, I said I would put them outside the front door so when his mum comes to pick him up he can put them in the car. He throw and smashed and lava lamp, which i think was aimed at me, he smashed alot of things... glass bottles a plant pot I had. My living room and hallway were a complete mess, glass everyhwere. So I called the police telling them that he wouldnt leave and had become violent and started smashing things. Walst on the phone to the police, Owain got on the phone to his mum who lives just up the road. She arrived and i opened the door. She took one look at the mess and asked 'what the hell had been going on?' I didnt say anything I just sat their. Owain started shouting again and his mum told him to shut up so I could talk. I told her that he had smashed the lava lamp and bottles etc. He said he didnt do it on purpose, he said he was 'trying to get them back into the flat' (yes by throwin them? - what an idiot) My friend Clive arrived at my house (should probably say that Clive is gay, so Owain had no reason to be jealous) Clive was shocked by the state of my flat and was just glad that I wasnt hurt. Clive told me he thought I should ring my mum so I did and Owain and his mum wnet home. My mum arrived (and wasnt very happy about everything) she told me to take pictures of the mess for the police, which I did. My mum being my mum wanted to tidy up all of the mess straight away. It was a seriously health and safety risk which glass everywhere.

My mum decided that she wanted to get Owain to help tidyin it up, so she gave him a call.... he was basicly havin a go about me down the phone. My mum wanted him to come and clean up the mess so she kepted asking him, five mins of him havin a moan then he decideds to come back to my with his mum and clear up the mess. They got to mine where Owain started having a go at me, probably for the benefit of my mum to hear this time. I started shouting back tho I know I shouldnt have. I got really upset and angry at him. He had basicly trashed my house and wasnt sayin sorry for it. I was worried about my little boy coming back the next day and getting a peace of glass in his foot or something. I sat in the front room of my flat and shut the door. In the hallways I could still hear Owain have a moan about me to his mother and mine. I walked into the hallway where Pwains mother was slagging me off... so I told her how I felt (I didnt use very nice words towards her I think most of them were swear words) My mum started having a go at me for talking so common. But I was upset and when I phoned my mum all I wanted her to do was hug me and tell me it was going to be alright, but my mum isnt like that.

Owain wasnt tidying up he left his mum and my mum to sort out and clean everything up. He didnt lift his finger once to do anything. I had a go at him for that aswell, telling his mum she was a mug and a fool for doing the cleaning up when it was his mess to clean. By this time my mum was VERY upset with me telling me to shut up.

(the police didnt arrive they said they were 'to busy for this sort of thing')

I hit braking point and just wanted some space... I ordered everyone out of my house and walked to my parents to pick up my son. I told my parents to say good bye to him because I felt they had let me down. I dont want to see them right now. I dont feel like I want them in my life.


So Owain and I have split up and I cant take back the words that I have said to his mother, not that I want to. I spoke to Owain before I started writting this telling him we needed to talk about the baby. All he could do was bring up last night. I said that I didnt want him near me at all, not after last night and I told him that he could come to the birth, but until then I dont want him near me at all.

I just feel like im totaly on my own. I was on my own when I was pregnant with my son, I dont want to be again. Owain and I planned everything together, we were having fun finding out about our baby. We would look up pregnancy week by week to see if it has any fingers and toes etc. I feel that was all a waste now. I do love Owain so much, but I dont know what to do. I want us to go through this together, but im not sure if I can get back with him. What if he does the same again when hes upset?

I know this is a really long topic... and thank-you if you have read it.
Please tell me what you would do, I dont know what to do anymore...

Love Jo xx

 

[lauramumof2]

Sounds like the demon drink! If he hit you then I would say no way, get rid of him. But, if like you say you both had a drink then it might be worth him coming round and you both talking.
Your parents dont sound very supportive though, you can do without that. And, if the worst comes to the worst then you have done it yourself before and will again.

Oh and by the way, welcome to the forum.

 

[violet-glow]

Thanks for the welcome. and for the advise...

I think everythings just still a bit fresh right now. Just feeling really shitty.


Jo xx

 

[liviray]

My heart goes out to you. Men can be such arseholes at times, and he sounds like a prime example!!!!!!!!!
I think if i was you I'd be pretty scared of what he might do again if you had a drunken row. Seems like you both need to talk when alcohol isn't involved! Its such a horrible drug that can make monsters out of people.
Keep us all posted hun, and take care. I'd say, stay single, and try to be civil or maybe even mates (for your baby's sake). Be strong. You'll be fine.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

first of all welcome...
I would do whats in your heart alot of guys who do that will do it again, but then again some just might have been a one time deal.
Give it a few days then try talking again and you will have to talk to him and tell him how you feel.
I hope it all goes well for you and if you did it onceim sure you can doit again you seem like a good mom.
Katrina

 

[minikins]

Blimey you poor thing, you have been through so much.

That guy sounds totally awful and I would never give a guy who had been violent to me a second chance, sorry. Especially with you being pregnant too, there is no excuse for that, your baby could have been harmed. What kind of man acts like that, booze or not it's not right and not good for you or your baby.

Whatever you do I wish you all the best for you and your little ones and hope you have lots of help and support your end.

Good luck with things babe. We are always here to listen and I hope my opinion has not upset you further, it's only what I would do and it's what you do now that counts in all this.

xx