Anyone else get shy tellin ppl ur peg?

[Noor~ul~Usman]

Hi, I know our hormones are all raging around and stuff but I was wondering who else is currently or has already been through this

Since my scan I was so please that baby was actually there! and obviously happy he/she was developing fine so was confident chatting about it to work mates that sit near me and showing the scan pic of my 'blob' around

However outside of work I seem to be pretty nervous. We are seriously thinking of moving home. Arranging some viewings and if we see something we like we will take it! Otherwise we may end up staying here just because it's a large house (even if it is musty and falling apart ).
We rent though so hubby was pointing out that since he can't make the viewing I need to ask all the important questions including the ruling on
children.

I said I'd ask in a round about kind of way saying we were planning on staying long term (which we are) and would it be ok if we ended up with children in the future. Hubby then proceeded to scold me and asked why I didn't just admit I was pregnant instead of them getting a nasty shock when they come to do the house checks in a few months and I'm VERY obviously preggas

He has got a point but it's just 4months doesn't feel that long...it's not even half way yet
I think I'm more confident at work because it wasn't like I could really hide it with the bad morning sickness I got and I intend to leave at 7months so only have 3months left.....but telling other people I'm actually rather shy about especially if they may use it as an excuse (legally or not) to turn us down for something....I'd feel so guilty

 

[abcd1234]

Even now, if i see people i went to school with, or havnt spoken to for a while i hide. I dont want them to see my baby bump and i dont want them knowing. It's because of my age, they all think its some great gossip and excitement when it's not, its my child and NO its not the worst thing that happened to me, and NO i didnt leave to too long to get rid of her, i found out at jsut over 4 weeks and knew immediately i wanted her and it makes me so angry that people say these things, like an abortion is nothing.

Worst of all is people who come on MSN and go oh btw heard you're pregnant, you gonna keep it, and i'm like, how rude!!! I'm 7 months she's definately staying!!!

GRR, so basically, yes i understand you not wanting to tell the whole world about your prengancy, but for totally different reasons. I was also quite scared of losing baby and all these people i dont really know pretending they cared when i'd want to be left alone with the people i'm close to if that happened.

 

[Ani]

You should be proud that your body is able to carry a baby and by no means embarrassed. Everyone in the world was "born" and they have no reason to make you feel uncomfortable for being pregnant.

 

[abcd1234]

You should be proud that your body is able to carry a baby and by no means embarrassed. Everyone in the world was "born" and they have no reason to make you feel uncomfortable for being pregnant.

It's because my school is a "christian" school, and noone from my year has had a baby (and publicised it) so i end up with everyone from my year thinking it's huge gossip, the year above making comments and the year below (even though theres a girl from the year below me in my antenatal classes, think she left after main school and didnt do a levels so its not as exciting for them)
Its also a big thing for them as everyone seemed to think i got around at school when i fact i one dated one boy from school it just happened that we spent years messing around with it all. And not being with her dad is excitement too. It doesnt bother me, and walking around shops etc i love my bump but when i'm at uni etc i feel self-consious as they all stare. I actually had someone dumstruck last week when i came in, she stopped talking and stared at me then i heard her going um um what was i saying!!!

 

[Sherlock]

We started looking for somewhere else to live when I was 3/4 months PG. I was honest with the letting agents when I contacted them and tbh, most landlords stipulate if they mind couples with children so you know in advance of even going to see a property. Its usually contained in the listing as to if they take pets/children/DSS etc. A lot of landlords don't want children in their houses so better to be upfront and tell them so as to save hassle going to view properties and so on. They are legally allowed to say when advertising the property. So you will know in advance and don't even have to spend time going to view something you know won't be considered for you.

So ask the letting agents to only send you info on houses that will not mind a young child. They won't waste your time then and you won't waste theirs.

By the time you find somewhere, agree the tenancy and move in it could be 3 months down the road and you'll be showing a lot more etc. I was.

We found a great house on the Crown Estate, they didn't mind new baby or baby on the way, dogs, chickens or anything else we threw at them.

 

[bunnymom1980]

You should be proud that your body is able to carry a baby and by no means embarrassed. Everyone in the world was "born" and they have no reason to make you feel uncomfortable for being pregnant.

It's because my school is a "christian" school, and noone from my year has had a baby (and publicised it) so i end up with everyone from my year thinking it's huge gossip, the year above making comments and the year below (even though theres a girl from the year below me in my antenatal classes, think she left after main school and didnt do a levels so its not as exciting for them)
Its also a big thing for them as everyone seemed to think i got around at school when i fact i one dated one boy from school it just happened that we spent years messing around with it all. And not being with her dad is excitement too. It doesnt bother me, and walking around shops etc i love my bump but when i'm at uni etc i feel self-consious as they all stare. I actually had someone dumstruck last week when i came in, she stopped talking and stared at me then i heard her going um um what was i saying!!!

Clare I know exactly how you feel. I've been there. I'd just turned 17 when I got pregnant with my son and I come from a very middle class area so I was the talk of the village lol.

In the last few years my mum has loved being able to say to people she bumps into how well I'm doing. I'm now a qualified nurse, married and we own our own house. lol

Back on topic- if your upfront with landlords and lettings agents they'll usually be fine about kids.

 

[Mildly]

I'm shy because I worry about being groped! I wear baggy jumpers and apparently some people at work still have no idea - they must think I'm just piling on the pounds.

I would definitely be up front with the lettings agencies liek you said you'd hate to miss out on a lovely place just because you weren't upfront. Good luck with your intended move

 

[Quill]

Wait, are you supposed to inform your landlord if you're going to have a baby? Ours doesn't know but we've been here for almost a year now.

On topic - I felt really shy until around 22 weeks. Then I felt a lot more confident, was showing, knew the gender, felt like it was a "happening thing" as opposed to just a concept.

 

[Sherlock]

Wait, are you supposed to inform your landlord if you're going to have a baby? Ours doesn't know but we've been here for almost a year now.

Your landlord may have stated he did not want children/pets/DSS etc when letting the property. If done through a letting agent also. Many landlords stipulate this when renting. He let the property to a couple with no children. If circumstances change I'd think you would have to inform him.

I don't know what the legal obligation is, but if he does not want to rent his property to people with children it may mean (if in lease etc) that he can ask you to look for somewhere else. You would have to look in to it and see what is what for your situation. I'd really not like to say one way or the other.

I consider it a bit like the 'no pets' stipulation. If you sneak one in and get found out, they can kick you out as you are breaking the tenancy agreement. Also if on a 6 month shorthold tenancy they can chose to not renew it at the end of the term. I have no idea of your contract or letting terms so who knows.

You'll have to do the leg work and look into it for yourself.

 

[Quill]

Thanks, Sherlock. There was no mention of "no kids" when we signed the lease, I'll check it over again just to make sure. Honestly though, with the exorbitant amount we pay to rent this place, I'll be really upset if there's problems!

 

[aramintalovegrove]

I consider it a bit like the 'no pets' stipulation. If you sneak one in and get found out, they can kick you out as you are breaking the tenancy agreement.

I tend to steer away from housing issues on here as its my bread and butter so dont want to appear a know it all or get sacked for offering my services for free!!

Basically if a landlord did the above it would be very very naughty!! Please please seek advice if you are in this situation either from CAB or Shelter.

I know sherlock is only hypothesising on what might happen, but you would be suprised how many landlords will try this sort of thing on!!

A landlord would not get away with the above regardless of any clauses they may have put in the tenancy agreement (oooh that would be a meaty case!!).... but... if you had an assured shorthold tenancy they could obviously serve notice without grounds (usually referd to as a section 21 notice) out of the fixed term.

It is best to be honest with lanldords and find a property that the landlord is happy for children to live.

 

[Sherlock]

I tend to steer away from housing issues on here as its my bread and butter so dont want to appear a know it all or get sacked for offering my services for free!!

Basically if a landlord did the above it would be very very naughty!! Please please seek advice if you are in this situation either from CAB or Shelter.

I know sherlock is only hypothesising on what might happen, but you would be suprised how many landlords will try this sort of thing on!!

A landlord would not get away with the above regardless of any clauses they may have put in the tenancy agreement (oooh that would be a meaty case!!).... but... if you had an assured shorthold tenancy they could obviously serve notice without grounds (usually referd to as a section 21 notice) out of the fixed term.

It is best to be honest with lanldords and find a property that the landlord is happy for children to live.

Thanks for stopping by Some landlords can be dodgy, others decent. I know when we were looking for a new house so many stipulated in the letting details they would not consider anyone with children/pets etc we found ourselves so limited to what would be any good for us. Hence us when we found a place we loved being totally honest and telling them we had a baby on the way. The letting details made no mention either way, so we got lucky. But really, there was a great 4 bed house and the owner wanted no kids under 12 in there I know they can do this but so many familes could not consider it because it was no under 12's. It was still empty 4 months after it went on the letting agents books

And yeah the dreaded shorthold tenancy renewal thing We are lucky because once the 6 months is up its pretty much a rolling continual thing and they want us to stay long term which works for us. But I know many landlords seem to keep to the 6 month renewal. My OH's old place did that.

And yes, I am with you on being upfront about having a baby on the way when looking at properties. If the landlord says no in the notes, I've learnt to not even try to change their mind

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

Aww glad I'm not the only one who gets shy.
Our new manager came in yesterday on her return from maternity leave and I didn't say anything (all the other managers should have let her know in staff updates) but a they were having a joke about one of my colleagues who is both diabetic and very health concious and how nobody on the team has sugar in their drinks so it must be her influence
And then the manager found out I took sugar and joked about me being a rebel....so my colleague turned around and said "she's allowed...she's got two of them to worry about" lol!
And so my manager was really excited and started asking 50 questions and I could feel myself going BRIGHT RED!!

Saw the house. Didn't admit I was preggas but asked all the important questions...."we have 2 house cats are they ok?"..."it's advertised as a family home so since we intend to stay a while if we have kids down the line will this be ok?"...."we have family abroad who tend to stay for a month at a time if they visit will we need to disclose this as and when they come?"....all big fat yes's and all fine as long as landlord knows

Hubby couldn't make the viewing and has booked for tues as agents is chocka block until then. If it goes before then never mind. I personally think it was a lovely house it's just a fair bit smaller than the last few we've been in and I think hubby is being a tad fussy about size