Anxiety and Conception

[Carly89]

I am hoping to connect with other women trying to conceive and expectant mothers who suffer with diagnosed Anxiety.
I wanted to know what help is available and if you have any advice on how to stay sane and keep the dark clouds at bay?

Thanks in advance x

 

[CoolNoMore]

Hi Carly!

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression last year. It's a superfun mix! I had been suffering for about seven months at that stage and ttc for five. It got much better about five months later when I conceived. Hurrah!

In that time, ovulation was only delayed once, and that was at the absolute worst of everything. When I conceived, I was very anxious, so I'm happy to say that it didn't actually impact ttc in any physical way.

I eventually had gone to my GP and got referred to see a mental health specialist from the local maternity unit to talk about the pros and cons of medicating while ttc and to see a cognitive behavioural therapist. Unfortunately thanks to waiting lists and some mess up, by the time I had the appointments, I was already pregnant. Ridiculous.

Although I'm a highly-strung sort, the proper anxiety came from real-life issues, and ttc was one of those, so virtually everything improved from the minute I saw the positive test. Before that though, changing my diet to reduce my sugar intake, drinking more water, upping my intake of fruit and veg and getting out to do exercise every day made everything manageable. It sounds really trivial, but that stuff helped a lot when nothing else was available.

What sort of support have you got at the minute, either in pills, therapy, friends, family, pets? My cats helped too!

I'll help however I can, I could just keep typing for hours, so if you have any questions, throw 'em at me!

 

[CoolNoMore]

Oh, and a word of warning: most of the time, this forum helped a LOT. People are wonderful and you can complain as much as you need to. What I did find though, was that I read more and more stories about people struggling, and there was one point that it made me paranoid and much more anxious. If that happens, abandon ship! For a little while at least. As you can see, I came back

 

[Carly89]

I have been let down and humiliated most occasions in trying to talk to anyone about my mental health. It's Normally a case of prescribing tablets, and I accept, out of exhaustion and the need to switch off. I wasn't aware though you could take anything pregnant. I need to be referred for counselling, but I've asked in the past with no success. I know what you mean about reading stories that fuel anxiety. I will see how I go, thanks for the advice ��

 

[CoolNoMore]

I was very lucky that my GP was so knowledgable and sympathetic - even if her attempts to get me the help I needed didn't materialise in time. Yes, you can take some medication while pregnant - I think it was Citalopram that I was considering - but it's not risk-free, so it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

CBT is not an easy, instant cure, but can help enough to get you through the worst bits and I highly recommend it (have had it before). Have a think about what's going to help the most and go to your GP with a battle plan, and if they won't help, go back again, or go to someone else. Get what you need.

Don't give up with this stuff either. It's entirely possible that you'll end up with a therapist that's not right for you. It doesn't mean that you're too broken, or even that they're rubbish, just that they're not a good fit. Finding the right person can be a bit of a slog. I often think you need to be mentally very well just to find help for mental health issues : (

Above all though, talk to someone. Anyone. Me! Other forum people. Husbands, friends, random people on the bus...well, maybe not, but whatever works! After ten years I'm starting to accept that my husband isn't psychic and that I actually have to explain things that are in my head. I consider this his biggest failing

 

[Blessings111]

I am sorry you are having challenges with anxiety, but it sounds like you are working with it in the most wonderful way possible. It is wonderful to have support form those who have compassion. A site I have found helpful for all aspects of trying to have a family is Julia Indichova's site. Trying to have a child, even the challenges of daily life can be very hard to handle. Julia's work really helps to see that we all have challenging emotions and many tools how to cope.

I wish you the very very best

 

[Salley]

PTSD that presents as anxiety, depression, insomnia, psychosis and agoraphobia here. I take a cocktail of prescription medications and have been ttc with my OH since 2014. Actively monitoring symptoms and temps for 10 cycles now. It is most definitely an immense struggle living with mental illness and you'll find psychiatrists recommend staying on the cocktail and obgyn's warn you of potential hazards for the fetus. Personally I plan on stopping all my medications when I do conceive because I don't want to set my child up for needing pills to make it through the day like me. I just have faith in my own willpower for 9 months to give my child the best chance. Unfortunately I'm likely prone to PPD, but I've wanted a little one so long my hope is that having a baby will fill me with joy. We'll see how this journey goes. I wish you the best of luck, just wanted to assure you "you're not alone"

 

[Carly89]

I was very lucky that my GP was so knowledgable and sympathetic - even if her attempts to get me the help I needed didn't materialise in time. Yes, you can take some medication while pregnant - I think it was Citalopram that I was considering - but it's not risk-free, so it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

CBT is not an easy, instant cure, but can help enough to get you through the worst bits and I highly recommend it (have had it before). Have a think about what's going to help the most and go to your GP with a battle plan, and if they won't help, go back again, or go to someone else. Get what you need.

Don't give up with this stuff either. It's entirely possible that you'll end up with a therapist that's not right for you. It doesn't mean that you're too broken, or even that they're rubbish, just that they're not a good fit. Finding the right person can be a bit of a slog. I often think you need to be mentally very well just to find help for mental health issues : (

Above all though, talk to someone. Anyone. Me! Other forum people. Husbands, friends, random people on the bus...well, maybe not, but whatever works! After ten years I'm starting to accept that my husband isn't psychic and that I actually have to explain things that are in my head. I consider this his biggest failing

I think CBT is definitely something i would benefit from. My anxieties are deep seated and it will take some time to go through everything. I understand i would probably get worse before i get better, as going over old stuff could be quite mentally draining. Ive Basically decided that sharing my anxieties with my husband, mother in law and my friends is not helping. After a conversation, i reel back with shame and embarrassment. It is only making me feel worse, as they have literally no idea what i am feeling. I am aware my thoughts are ridiculous, but that doesn't make them any less scary to me. Nor does being told 'you'll be ok' or 'Everything will be fine..' or 'Try not to worry too much'...

 

[Sparklegirl]

I have a delightful combination of anxiety and OCD which really isnt great when TTC. Feel free if you want to PM me to talk or vent or whatever

 

[Carly89]

I have a delightful combination of anxiety and OCD which really isnt great when TTC. Feel free if you want to PM me to talk or vent or whatever

I am also OCD (obsessive thoughts) i have periods of checking things over and over. That seems to be flaring up with the TTC stress. Nightmare! Likewise, ill be happy to listen! So nice to meet someone who could potentially understand x

 

[Sparklegirl]

I have a delightful combination of anxiety and OCD which really isnt great when TTC. Feel free if you want to PM me to talk or vent or whatever

I am also OCD (obsessive thoughts) i have periods of checking things over and over. That seems to be flaring up with the TTC stress. Nightmare! Likewise, ill be happy to listen! So nice to meet someone who could potentially understand x

I have a lot of intrusive obsessive thoughts and I do think it latches onto TTC to be just that bit more evil to us. I have had so many conversations with people in therapy while I was still practicing about things like this. It is a lot more common than people would like to admit x

 

[Antarpuneet_]

If you have anxiety of something you must have to talk about this with you husband if not talk to your Mother-in-low about this and if you concern about your baby's health talk with your caregivers because anxiety will only decrease if you will talk with someone about it

 

[Leighwiltshire]

i suffer massively with anxiety, depression and OCD.

i used to control my eating - leading to an eating disorder this is still there but i know i need to eat for the baby

i have really good days thinking of the future, but now im getting closer im worried i wont be good enough for my baby. im worried i will get post natal depression they are already monitoring me for prenatal depression which feels like they are putting more pressure on me.

im not going to lie, im terrified. i have no one to talk to my OH doesnt understand depression and anxiety

i worry about every pain, movement etc and im currently on fluoxetine i have been for years.

 

[Carly89]

i suffer massively with anxiety, depression and OCD.

i used to control my eating - leading to an eating disorder this is still there but i know i need to eat for the baby

i have really good days thinking of the future, but now im getting closer im worried i wont be good enough for my baby. im worried i will get post natal depression they are already monitoring me for prenatal depression which feels like they are putting more pressure on me.

im not going to lie, im terrified. i have no one to talk to my OH doesnt understand depression and anxiety

i worry about every pain, movement etc and im currently on fluoxetine i have been for years.

Have you ever had any kind of counselling? I have the same worry, that if i do ever get my BFP that i will only have a million other things to obsess and worry over! You know as well as i do though, That is anxiety for you hey?
I have the exact worry that i wont be a good enough Mum to my babies, I am currently obsessing over my ability to be a stable mother. My husband can tell me a hundred times over i will be an amazing mother and yet his words are empty to me
I would consider medication to take the edge off, would you recommend medicating during pregnancy? Try and see a mental health nurse if you can, and explain your worries to them. I know from experience it can be a disheartening experience trying to pour your heart out to a doctor or nurse, and for them to see through your concerns. But just remember it can't hurt to talk to them, and if you feel shame or embarrassed it will pass!
I am here if you need to chat x

 

[Leighwiltshire]

ive had counselling since i was little, and now i dont see the point - i was laughed at for my eating habits only last year! as one of my things with food was i couldnt eat anything that was open or had touched something else and the counselor laughed at this! it was a horrible experience.

i dont see the benefit of taking my depression and anxiety tablets, the first tri i suffered from panic attacks, they were far worse than an average panic attack i was used to, i couldnt control them as easily. only recently i read that panic attacks can harm the baby!

i think with hormones your mood is all over the place, i have a good day like i did on saturday bought the pram was really looking forward to things then i had an argument with my OH on monday and i was looking at ways to end my life but to do it and make sure my baby would survive - im disgusted at myself for even thinking along these lines but you get so low.

you deffo need support when your pregnant and im here if you ever need to talk to anyone. im a very closed book but thats due to having counselling when i was little, i was told to write my thoughts and feelings in a diary which no one would see. then my mum let it out that they made her read it! knocks your trust a lot with people when the counsellor is there to help and not judge i feel thats all they do xx

 

[Carly89]

ive had counselling since i was little, and now i dont see the point - i was laughed at for my eating habits only last year! as one of my things with food was i couldnt eat anything that was open or had touched something else and the counselor laughed at this! it was a horrible experience.

i dont see the benefit of taking my depression and anxiety tablets, the first tri i suffered from panic attacks, they were far worse than an average panic attack i was used to, i couldnt control them as easily. only recently i read that panic attacks can harm the baby!

i think with hormones your mood is all over the place, i have a good day like i did on saturday bought the pram was really looking forward to things then i had an argument with my OH on monday and i was looking at ways to end my life but to do it and make sure my baby would survive - im disgusted at myself for even thinking along these lines but you get so low.

you deffo need support when your pregnant and im here if you ever need to talk to anyone. im a very closed book but thats due to having counselling when i was little, i was told to write my thoughts and feelings in a diary which no one would see. then my mum let it out that they made her read it! knocks your trust a lot with people when the counsellor is there to help and not judge i feel thats all they do xx

I don't blame you for having your hesitations, but please try and seek further help. I know at one stage I would be stood at traffic lights/ crossings and considered walking out. That was just before my wedding..! It's not a nice thing to go through, feeling this way. Maybe call the Samaritans? i understand you will want to appear as sane as possible while pregnant to the midwives etc. for fear of them judging you and your abilities. Try and talk to someone impartial and maybe anonymously?