Anxiety and being irrational

[Jessiecat]

Hi ladies I feel I need to get some advice about some things I've been feeling.

Basically over the past few months I've started freaking out about stuff if I couldn't control it.
Like recently a friend said she was going to arrange a baby shower for me. I was polite about it but got home and freaked out, then very time I thought about it I freaked out some more and burst in to tears about it for no reason. I hated the idea of forcing a room full of people together to chat who didn't know each other, plus I normally love being centre of attention but I really didn't want that I don't feel or look good ever anymore and I'm crippled with SPD and didn't want people to see how uncapable I am if doing anything.

The bigger issue is people touching my stuff. I have nothing in my life to hide but since I've been in hospital my partner has had his parents round to help him sort the house and empty kitchen cupboards and stuff. I get on well with and love his parents but the thought of anybody touching my stuff makes my chest fill with panic.
He also said he's given them a key as we have someone ping round to do some work there tomorrow, lovely of then to offer but the thought of them in my house alone where I know they will try and help with housework and stuff makes me fill with anxiety and a heavy dread feeling.

My husband is taking it personally but it really makes no difference who it is, I'd be as freaked out if it was my parents!!

Anyone who has mentioned suprises to me recently has caused me to panic as well.

Oh and I'm in hospital y the minute and I got showered and the cleaner cleaned my table whih meant handling all my stuff (litre rally just food and magazines) and that stressed me out!

There's a lot of mental illness and autism in my family, they joke that I'm the nomal one lol but seriously what's happening to me it's not like me at all to be stressed or anxiou and I don't think anyone understands.

 

[millielaura]

Board hopping here. A lot of it could be down to hormones and anxiety caused by that. I am exactly the same and I'm not even preg so I totally understand. The thought of OH's parents in my house sorting through everything would make me super anxious too. I don't even like OH tidying as I like everything in an exact place and order etc. I also hate situations I'm not in control in so a suprise event would be a nightmare for me too. I say it could be hormones as I'm a lot worse around AF so it could definitely be preg hormones.
Not got any real advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone . I'm about to have cbt for anxiety xxx

 

[Flosi]

Jessie sorry to hear this, but totally understand where you are coming from. I was the same when I went into hospital a few years ago. I think I was literally because I had no control over anything and I was being told all of this was being done rather than being asked, if that makes sense.

It has something to do with the helpless feeling I think.

And as for the baby shower, I refused to go to a meal with my BIL and his GF because there was others going and I didn't feel comfortable with people looking at me as very self conscious since being pregnant, which has also prevented me from doing any of the antenatal classes, as feel I am constantly being judged (I also look quite young, and I feel people think I'm not old enough for children)

I really hope you start feeling better soon, but praps talk to the MW or Doc

 

[CharlieB21]

Oh jessiecat I think that it most probably is just due to preg hormones. Lord knows mine have been on high alert. However that doesn't help with how you feel. Could you explain yo your OH that you are feeling out of control stuck in hospital and for that reason would rather any sorting in cupboards etc to be left to you at a later date? Take the offer of cleaning and hoovering etc as that's superficial and might help your OH feel like he's on top of the household chores to be able to focus on you. I hate hospitals so can't begin yo imagine how you must feel being stuck in there? How much longer do you have? I remember you offering me advice on a post and you being a couple of weeks in front I think? Xx

 

[mylullaby]

Actually I would feel like it was a massive invasion of my privacy to have people (even if they were well-meaning) sorting stuff out in my home/letting themselves in while I wasn't there. I guess it could depend on the relationship you have with your ILs but no way would mine ever have a key. Tell your OH you'd rather he did as much as he could and left the rest - explain how it's making you feel having people coming and going from your house while you can't be there. It would definitely unsettle me, with or without pregnancy hormones. I would hate a baby shower - not for me - so would have to politely decline the offer from a friend. Don't feel bad about telling her you've had a rethink if it's not something you'll feel comfortable doing. They aren't everyone's cup of tea xxx

 

[Jessiecat]

Thank you everyone you've all really helped.
Charlie I have another week and a half before the section so about another 2 weeks before I go home.

So you think it's all normal and at most down to hormones? This makes me feel better I thought I was developing a bit of an issue.
Thank you for replying

 

[littlemonkey]

Jessiecat, I think in the circumstances what you're feeling is understandable!

I'm a pretty private person anyway, but I do hate social situations where I'm meant to be the centre of everything when not every one knows one another. I'm a hundred times worse when pregnant, all people want to talk to me about is baby, and I know they're only being nice, but telling the 800th person why I'm having a c-section or how my pregnancy has been gets tiresome.

I'm really funny about people touching my things too. My sister works with people with learning and behaviour issues and tells me I have autistic tendencies with things like that! Being in hospital is a nightmare and I'm panicking about all the things I'm not home to do! My OH is a flapper and is flapping at everything he has to do whereas I just take it all in my stride. I am finding though I just have to let go of it all and let it wash over me! I'm not home, so don't have to physically be there for other people being in my house and seeing what they are doing. Some how for me I find that easier.

Are you having a section with this baby? One word of advice is as painful and uncomfortable it is for you to do so, do accept as much help as you can once baby is here. That was the biggest mistake I made last time I tried to do it all myself when I wasn't able to do so. I'm bringing my parents in for help this time. I will just have to make sure I'm in another room when they're cleaning!!

My big thing is visitors at the moment. I really don't want any at the hospital and none of OHs family quite get that! They all wanna see baby, but don't appreciate I'll be recovering from major surgery and I now have a facial droop now too. I'm not really up to company!!

 

[Willowburn]

Ah Jessie don't worry- I would not have thought it was anything sinister to be honest. Its such a stressful and emotional time and to be honest when there was nothing going on I would not be at all comfortable with people in my home either, never mind when I was a hormonal pregnant lady/new mum! I can't bear people doing things in my house and like you say, there's nothing to hide but I don't even like help packing the dishwasher/ tidying the kitchen if they come for dinner! I'd be exactly the same so don't worry. Maybe just explain to them? But however you handle it don't worry about it! x

 

[CharlieB21]

Two weeks must feel like forever. Are there any nice people on your ward? I do hope you're getting lots of visitors to keep you sane x

 

[CharlieB21]

Still will be worth it when you hold that gorgeous bundle x

 

[Jessiecat]

I just want to thank everyone for replying, I feel a lot better about things and was starting to think I was developing a bit of a problem but you've all put my mind at rest so thank you xx